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What? Sorry I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, now I am, so here's my take on it. I've always been pro capital punishment under certain conditions. There has to be iron-clad proof that the person(s) committed the act of which they are accused. Ideally with at least three witnesses and video evidence, maybe a confession (not under duress) too. There also has to be no possibility of rehabilitation, and a good chance that they would reoffend given the opportunity. If there is no hope of them ever rehabilitating and rejoining society in a way that doesn't put the safety of others at risk, then there is no reason that person should be kept around. HOWEVER, we as a society don't and shouldn't want anyone to suffer needlessly, regardless of crime. The justice system should be about rehabilitation and not revenge, but in cases like this when rehabilitation is not an option since the crime is so egregious, then the best way out is a painless quick exit. Hell, living in a cage knowing there's a clock hanging over your head is torture enough IMO. They say it costs more to execute someone than to imprison them for life. I don't see how that is unless it's by design. I could do it for $10 (maybe more if you include the cost of the entire firearm (probably a shotgun) and not just the cartridge (probably slugs.)) Ideally we could solve the problem for pain like the one for suicide. Let the convicted choose what they think would be the most painless way to die, and then use that. Personally I think the suicide helmet would be best, and then burn the remains so there is nothing left that can feel any pain.

tired and anxious

Updated some links, finally removed City Club, and changed the location for Happy Endings to the new venue.

About to set up for the end of the year annual paperwork session.

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Oh my goodness, I feel like I can breathe. I've been stressing out over a financial situation that I have until June of 2027 to handle. That makes me feel a World of a lot better. 😅

A bit nauseous

My house is so quiet; I love that.

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Am I ready to send it to her

If the offer came I'd maybe give it a shot

You never know! Hell, I'm pushing 50 and never thought I'd be able to do something like that at this age especially.

Yeah. I don't think I could pull that kind of money for that. I've lost a bit of weight but still. Lol

...and had a blast doing it!!!

My job kinda sucks but I made 250 dollars for like an hours worth of fetish modeling/rping. Can I just do that?🤣

Apparently holding steady at my job is working out

Thank you for sharing your story. If you need assistance finding resources and support, please let me know.

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A little anxious after yesterday

Having a solid support system

thank you

Hugs and healing thoughts. 🫂

shots fired

I’m going to backtrack to an incident that has filled me with anger, shame, fear, and depression. Those are the events of the morning of March 17th 2016. I often wonder if you’ve ever thought about that morning. I’ve literally had nightmares related to it. After finding out REDACTED sex. We went back to your place. You tried kissing me. I pulled away. You tried again. I pulled away again. You then let out the now vomit inducing words “but don’t you want me”. Feeling I had no choice I let out a barely audible “yes”. After which you climbed on top of me while I stared blankly at your closet. My thought was that if I looked as uninterested as possible then maybe you would recognize what was happening and would stop. That never happened so all I could do was hope it would be over as soon as possible. I’m fairly confident that given your politics, if this happened to any other two people that you would agree that it was clearly non consensual. It also wasn’t the first time. It was just the time I remember most vividly. I recall this happening at least one other time, though I’m not as sure of the date. It took until November 2025 for me to fully explain it to a therapist. It was at that moment that she used a word to describe it that I hadn’t yet. That word was rape. More instances of me not being allowed to say “no”. I may have doubted myself because of how long its been, but as it turns out it somewhat common with victims of sexual assault. Think of this every time you demand anything of me. I know support is going to REDACTED theoretically, but every time I stare at my paycheck its not lost on me that I’m giving 750 dollars a month to my rapist. Imagine if anyone else had to do that and tell me you wouldn’t be furious at the prospect. Not only am I not going to be a doormat for you anymore, but I’m going to stop being silent about what happened. Don’t worry. I won’t mention you by name, but I spent the past year trying to find anyone that could relate to my situation with no luck. It just so happens that situations like this aren’t brought up. Maybe due to lack of reporting. Maybe due to it not being taken seriously when it happens to a man. My hope is that one person can come across this and not feel as alone as I’ve felt. Shots fired