Ask Mallochai

[Brenda Starrr]

Why do birds sing so gay?

Why does Odims want to poop in MY bathrooms?

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

[JaneDead]

is clear a color? and if it is, is it your favorite?

[Msterbeau]

Why are there bugs and debris in my pool even though I have a cover over it?

[JaneDead]

Why are there bugs and debris in my pool even though I have a cover over it?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i put them there, sorry marc. i thought i was being funny. guess not.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Where is the best place to find awsome jeans?

My faves finally got the hole in the knee....time to shop. I hate shopping for jeans. I'll try on 20 before I find the perfect pair.

Where can I find them? What brand?

[Msterbeau]

i put them there, sorry marc. i thought i was being funny. guess not.

Remind me to laugh when you discover I've relocated them to your bed.

[n0Mad]

Goofy hornball sneaks in and steals the answers to some questions.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You're welcome to do that whenever you want Brenda. :grin

Where is the best place to find awsome jeans?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm wearing them. Why, did you want to get inside my pants? :laughing

[n0Mad]

Where have all the flowers gone ... long time passing?

[mallochai]

*pokes her head in the door, sees the long line full of loonies, and dons a disguise*

:erm

[mallochai]

How was music discovered?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ask your mom. no, better yet, ask MY mom. she works at the secretary of state, dibability office, kalamazoo, ask for donna. :grin

[mallochai]

Why are midgets so funny?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

they are mini versions of us, and everything miniature is cute and/or funny because it's so strange.

also, it's a type of hypnosis - eventually, when we all think midgets are funny, they'll turn on the major mind control device, and we'll all be DOOMED, dooOOOOmed, dooooomed, doomed.

doomed.

doomed.

[mallochai]

Why do birds sing so gay?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

SEX!

Why does Odims want to poop in MY bathrooms?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Do you have any of those little smelly bath salt thingies? Or liquid hand soap? Perhaps a fuzzy toilet cover? All of these things and more work like a magnet on the rectum of the Odims. It's just nature.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nooo! Wait... Yess! Why, you want me to?

Remember - rough, but not too rough; soft, but not too soft; leggo my eggo, but not over the toilet.

[mallochai]

is clear a color? and if it is, is it your favorite?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

clear is not a color, clear is a state of mind.

my favorite color is violet, Violet.

[mallochai]

Remind me to laugh when you discover I've relocated them to your bed. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

*laughs awkwardly, coughs*

oh... uh... ahem... excuse me....

[mallochai]

Where is the best place to find awsome jeans?

My faves finally got the hole in the knee....time to shop.  I hate shopping for jeans. I'll try on 20 before I find the perfect pair.

Where can I find them? What brand?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have found this to be an eternally difficult question. Being that I live in alaska, I've settled on the fact that since I can't/won't shop at nordstroms, I buy jeans at Old Navy. They usually have stuff that fits me nicely.

As for you... I really really really don't know.

A stumper! :tear

***I guess I could point out that while I lived in michigan, I hadn't worn blue jeans for about five years, except to get grungy in, so any that I had were from thrift stores and so already grungified. I often bought pants at Express though. I like their clothes, fucking expensive though. Even their jeans are great, if a bit over decorated now.

[mallochai]

Where have all the flowers gone ... long time passing?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Same place as the merrymakers - into the river.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

ask your mom.  no, better yet, ask MY mom.  she works at the secretary of state, dibability office, kalamazoo, ask for donna.  :grin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why would your mom know?

[mallochai]

Why would your mom know?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no no, i am not qualified to divulge her amazing secrets.

[kellygrrrrrl]

why did you move to Alaska?

[mallochai]

why did you move to Alaska?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

*smacks herself in the forehead*

for LOOOOoooooVVVVEEEEE!!!!!

and because I needed a serious change of scenery. Living in kalamazoo, while mostly great, was getting me nowhere pretty damn fast. Really, i was just in a general rutty state of my life, placement out of the question. Being in Alaska has been both an improvement and a setback. Overall, I don't regret it, but it does make me sad sometimes, because there are so many people that I miss, and so many great opportunities that I cannot partake of, because alaska sucks for the most part. (read: there's not a goddamn thing to do here if you aren't into fishing/hunting/hiking/snowboarding/skiing, of which I am not a fan of any.)

I will elaborate further if you really want to know the whole story.

[mallochai]

Alright, why is my office so empty? Did I give out bad advice again? Is it because I'm not taking part in Pauls rehabilitation?

I demand a barage of questions which I will not answer for three whole days!

[n0Mad]

What is that thing over there by that other thing?

And while we're on the topic, what's that under there?