Pick-Up Lines

[torn asunder]

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.

I think I could fall madly in bed with you. :blink

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. :erm

"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!" (i love this one!!) :laughing

I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: What are you doing tonight at around 1?

My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome. (this one, too!) :laughing

Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to. (awww...)

What time do you get off? Can I watch? :woot:

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart." :devil

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question? :blink

Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."

[Brenda Starrr]

Ugh, TA!

[ssid67]

I wish you were a Pony outside Meijers , so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

[jadnifer]

ok, here are a couple with responses!

Havent i seen you somewhere before?

Yeah, Im a nurse at the VD clinic.

You wanna go to my place or yours?

Both. you go to yours and i'll go to mine

Is this seat free?

Yes. And so will mine be if you sit down

I have more, i will post them at a later time!

[Slept with ghost]

hi seems to work just fine for me

[jadnifer]

hi seems to work just fine for me

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That would be the BEST way to go!!!

[ssid67]

Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Im not sure people actually use pickup lines in real life do they? Sort of an uban legend no? I guess if you were drunk off your ass and just wanted to either get slapped or laid you could go around saying the same bullshit until you got one that didnt slap you. Not sure it even matters what the >first

But anyhow the tone of this thread is >humor

Uh... can we skip the BS and get right to the fucking or should i ask your name first?

I see your by yourself, must either be a jackass or not worth the time which is it?

Hi if you dont blow me off im going to question your judgement.

Im about to humiliate myself but i cant help it all of the hot ones are already taken.

How many drinks do i have to buy you before i start looking good?

ok thats all the dumbass stuff i can make up at the moment. =D

[Brenda Starrr]

lmao

[torn asunder]

"are those space pants? cuz your ass is out of this world!!"

:blink

:woot:

[sass_in_the_pants]

"Do you like sandwich or butt?"

To which the young miss would most likely say "ummmm...sandwich"

To which the young suitor responds "Well, we're all out of sandwich!" and smacks himself on said butt.

I asked him how well that line worked.

He said, "Great! I'm married!"

And then I remembered he's married to me! DOH! What was I thinking?

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I've had two different gay men do the same thing to me...

"accidentally" bump into me and then go "omg dont kick my ass please." LOL Then they'd start chatting about whatever. As if i could kick anyones ass. :laughing

[ssid67]

Hey baby do you want to go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

[Brenda Starrr]

:laughing

[ssid67]

i know we dont known each other very well, and I really shouldn't be asking you, I feel shy, but I want it so bad, don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time. I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this. I need it. I'm desperate, but your help can be very grateful you must think I have a lot of nerve asking you for this, but I can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not being forward, I'm usually not like this, but can I have a piece of gum?

[CatsEyeOfTheWiccan]

Man: Do you have German in you?

Woman: No!

Man: Than would you like some!!

I don't do stupid pick up lines, I just all woman.

-CatsEye

[Scary Guy]

"Ever have a stalker?

Want one?"

Or then there is my friend Jay who says that all women come equipped with their own portal to hell that spits out demons. So I came up with "Would you like to help me sumon a demon?"

[saechalyn]

I heard this one last night:

"hey I know you...you're... Buddhist!"

Uhm, no. But points for creativity.

[creatureofthenyte]

I would prefer to just talk to a woman,

rather then try to come up with a pick up line.

Most pick up lines are retarded and cheesy anyway.

I think a woman would respond more favorably to a conversation,

then to; Hey baby whats yo siiign ? lol

[BrassFusion]

Depends who you talk to, but if you ask me, ANY way to start a conversation with someone you find attractive is kind of a "pick up line." Not to say that you always want to have sex with the person. =) but it's an important first impression.

Lately I've been hanging out at a coffee house where there are just oodles of hot guys and my favorite, er, pick-up line is asking them if they want to play chess. I haven't exactly seduced anyone from the place, but I've made a whole assload of friends and chess buddies.

[ssid67]

If I was the king and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?

eh..kind of lame

[Scary Guy]

I actually castled with a girl last week to save her from another guy.

Eventually I'm teaching her how to play. Hopefully I'll get to play my other favorite game called "hide the king".

Oh shit, I almost forgot about the chess set my dad's grandmother made. Every single one of the peices looks phallic I swear.

[BrassFusion]

If I was the king and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?

eh..kind of lame

I

I will be king

And you

You will be queen

Though nothing

Nothing will keep us together

We can beat them

Forever and ever

Oh we can be heroes!

Just for one day...

god, seriously can't have too many bowie lyrics in one day...

[Brenda Starrr]

I actually castled with a girl last week to save her from another guy.

Eventually I'm teaching her how to play. Hopefully I'll get to play my other favorite game called "hide the king".

Oh shit, I almost forgot about the chess set my dad's grandmother made. Every single one of the peices looks phallic I swear.

[Homicidalheathen]

I'll hide your king for ya.......hee hee! There, that prob was my lamest pick up line.