Pick-Up Lines

[ssid67]

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

You must have a ninja in your pants cuz your ass is kicking

Excuse me for interrupting and I'm not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much ass.

I love the way you move; like butter on a bald monkey.

Did you know the human body is 90% water and i'm really thirsty.

Do you have the time? Do you have the energy?

[Vampyro]

what's a pickup line at a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in?

[Scary Guy]

"I've got a gun"

*crickets*

[jammers]

here is one that i heard

i might not be the best looking guy in here but im the only one talking to you

[Scary Guy]

"Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

[JaneDead]

"Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

[Homicidalheathen]

I have heard the worst I think.

You look like my sister. Can I take you home?

Um no. I am not into the incest thing.

I swear. That actually happened.

I guess it would be worse if they said I looked like their mom. Cause they might get smacked.

[JaneDead]

ewww. that has to be the worst.

this is not a pick up line but it reminded me of this- i was at this bar one time and there was karaoke. the guy who ran it was doing a song and said "i dedicate this to my sister" and then he said something else about her but i didn't quite catch it. it was something along the lines of if you knew her you'd know what i mean... or something like that. so anyways he proceeds to sing this song:

If you could only see the way she loves me

Then maybe you would understand

Why I feel this way about our love

And what I must do

If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says

When she says she loves me

which i guess if you read the lyrics it is not THAT bad but to hear him do it and to see people's expressions after he said it was for his sister and sang it... it was a little bit more than gross.

[Homicidalheathen]

that is disgusting.

[Scary Guy]

That's funny, maybe he did it on a dare or something, or he was going for grossing you out.

I remember that movie Joe Dirt "would it make it easier if you thought I was your sister"

Yeah remember that redneck test... it's a good thing I'm an only child.

[Vampyro]

[

*edit note* The above is my imagined crowd's reaction to the fool's kareoke song *end edit*

quote name='JaneDead' post='301364' date='Feb 26 2007, 08:46 AM']

ewww. that has to be the worst.

this is not a pick up line but it reminded me of this- i was at this bar one time and there was karaoke. the guy who ran it was doing a song and said "i dedicate this to my sister" and then he said something else about her but i didn't quite catch it. it was something along the lines of if you knew her you'd know what i mean... or something like that. so anyways he proceeds to sing this song:

If you could only see the way she loves me

Then maybe you would understand

Why I feel this way about our love

And what I must do

If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says

When she says she loves me

which i guess if you read the lyrics it is not THAT bad but to hear him do it and to see people's expressions after he said it was for his sister and sang it... it was a little bit more than gross.

[Belle Morte]

The only one that I can ever remember used on me is "You're dreams have come true, I'm here."

One of my favorites is " If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas, could we meet between the hollidays?".

[xBrutalBeautyx]

Geeeez, these are really bad!!!!

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?

Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?

My buddy Steve *swears* by this one.....

How much does a polar bear weigh? (?) Enough to break the ice, Hi I'm Steve.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

The one I usually use is:

"So, do you have a boyfreind?" (Hopefully she says 'no'.) "You want one?"

Then the one I made up that's slap to the face or kick to the groin worthy is:

"Hey baby, you're like a bedroom door. I knock and I wanna *come* inside."

Yea...needless to say I NEVER use the last one...but, it's still funny...

[phee]

Some classics:

Fuck me if I am wrong but do you find me attractive?

Hi I am Oedipus and you look so much like my mom!

I know your not that hot, but I bet you like to do it!

*hides*

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

Nice shoes wanna fuck?

haha, I've actually had someone ask me that once... it didnt work...

however, my pick up would not involve words... walk up to them, lick the side of their face, and walk away.... I guarantee u'll get followed - altho I have never tried this before, how could u not follow someone who just licked you?

[Shade Everdark]

Nice shoes wanna fuck?

haha, I've actually had someone ask me that once... it didnt work...

however, my pick up would not involve words... walk up to them, lick the side of their face, and walk away.... I guarantee u'll get followed - altho I have never tried this before, how could u not follow someone who just licked you?

Very easily, surprisingly enough.

It's called social phobia.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Nice shoes wanna fuck?

haha, I've actually had someone ask me that once... it didnt work...

however, my pick up would not involve words... walk up to them, lick the side of their face, and walk away.... I guarantee u'll get followed - altho I have never tried this before, how could u not follow someone who just licked you?

I need to try that...assuming I could reach...it'd end up being a theigh lick as oppose to a cheek licking...and THAT would probably get me slapped...

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

I need to try that...assuming I could reach...it'd end up being a theigh lick as oppose to a cheek licking...and THAT would probably get me slapped...

guess it would depend on who you licked 'eh?

[Dollardave]

I like it when someone licks my neck.

"lick me lick me" - The Exorcist

[Brenda Starrr]

"Want a blow job?" usually works.

[phee]

Hi I'm a moderator on a goth board....

(5 seconds later... panties off.... legs in the air.... and deeply breathing)

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

"Want a blow job?" usually works.

Maybe for a lady...but that wouldn't work so great for a guy lol

[Homicidalheathen]

These have actually been used on me in the past few years.

Oh your my perfect older woman fantasy! (this one worked, he was cute)

You remind me of my mom. Did I tell you I have sex dreams about my mom? Oh, not yet? Let me tell you about it while we drive back to my place.

(ok so that one worked too, hey he was cute also! I will pretend to be your mommy....whatever it takes for you to get it up boi.)

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Has a lot to do with who says it and how its said and what the situation is.

The follow-up is generally more important than the inital line(s). If you cant hold at least a 2-3 minute conversation, unless they are drunk off their ass, or wanted you already before you ever even talked to them its not going anywhere, usually.

"Hi , how are you , my name is . Whats your name? " is generally fairly nice. If they dont accept semi-random hugs.. or they stand like 5 feet away from you when they talk, generally, move along. Life is to short to have to get over some sort of baggage like that.