10 Ways You Should Never Flirt

[Homicidalheathen]

I got these out of the Cosmo Commandments this month.

10 ways you should never flirt......

1) When the grocery checkout guy asks you if you want paper or plastic, Say ribbed! (That one is my fav, I just might use it.....ha!)

2) Standing in the line at the electronics store, hold up the blank videotape your buying to the guy behind you, wink and go: This ones deffinatly getting an x rating!

3) To show a guy your sensual, er abilities.....try eating a burrito suductively.

4) During the free session you get with your gym membership, tell your bult personal trainer that the exercises you most want to focus on are Kegel Crunches! (I liked this one too!) (women of the world unite, 20 kegals at every *stop* light!)

5) While chatting up the hot guys playing soccer in the park, stick around even after they say it's a high school team practice. (I thought that one was hillarious!)

(I'll post the next 5 later)

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

"I like peanut butter, wanna f#ck?"

Worse pick up line EVER!

[The Kanuck]

Nice shoes, lets fuck. You don't even ask.

"Do you believe in magic? You have a spell over me" - So bad.

[Der Nister]

I'm so lame I don't even have a pick up line period. I just say hello and try to start a conversation.

Damn, I need some pick up lines.

[paradox]

ive got an 8' bed that never has to be made?

wait, thats a pick-up truck....never mind. :fear

[Homicidalheathen]

Heh heh or paper just to cover her ugly mug?

My own version of #1:

When the clerk at the grocery store asks "Paper or Plastic?" respond with "Paper, I don't want the bitch to suffocate.... wait... wait... let me think about that for a minute."

[Homicidalheathen]

6) When his dates not looking, slip a handsome prospect at a wedding reception your room key, so what if he is the groom?

7) As an ice breaker....take a dude's hand (hey, someone in cosmo just used DUDE here! I didn't add thatJ!) plant it on your chest...and ask him to guess whether or not your wearing a water bra.

And I have to add to this one.....I was talking about this with a young guy yesturday who had no idea we fake it with air....water......inserts......

I told him when I was a teen there were times I would not want to make out with boys for fear they would find my wads of balled up T.P. in my bra.

8) Make your crush a slammin' mix (did someone in cosmo just say Slammin'???) C.D. featuring all the hottest tracks by the indigo girls...K.d. Lang......and Mellisa Ethridge.

9) Taking a cue from the days of playground coartship.....walk up to a yummy specimen at the bar and kick him hard, in the shin.

10) Scan in pictures of you and your crush....and present him with a photo morph showing what your future kid would look like.

[The Kanuck]

Cree..py... If someone tried ever one of these, I would either give them a weird look and tell them to go away, or run away in fear. Showing pictures of future kids. AHHH!

[Homicidalheathen]

I thought the morphed kid pics were funny too.......more like how to loose a guy in a few minutes.