When Mom Calls....

[Homicidalheathen]

Do you cringe?

Get excited?

Sigh and roll your eyes?

Me, the last one.

[sass_in_the_pants]

The last one.

And then she leaves me crazy messages, such as 'Sigh, you never pick up your phone. Peas are on sale. I know you like peas. They're on sale. You should buy some.'

Who calls to say peas are on sale?

[torn asunder]

i don't speak to my mother anymore... :erm

[bean]

The last one.

And then she leaves me crazy messages, such as 'Sigh, you never pick up your phone. Peas are on sale. I know you like peas. They're on sale. You should buy some.'

Who calls to say peas are on sale?

I think we have the same mother. She does the same thing.

I cringe and sigh and roll my eyes because I know she is calling to complain about how I'm not anorexic like her (using different words of course), or how I'm not making enough money or how i go out too much or how I'm putting too many miles on my car, and am I cleaning my house? (because 80% of my time should be devoted to cleaning the house), or how I should eat meat because not eating meat isn't healthy, or how my step-father is a rotten sack of shit and she can't wait until he dies (even though she chose to marry him and stay with him all these years because he makes good money and she was too lazy to get a job), or how she has this pain or that pain and won't go to the doctor (even though she has insurance)..all the while drunk while talking to me and claiming that she doesn't drink hard liquor any more, but has "a few" beers every day.

Luckily I only have to talk to her about once a week.

[torn asunder]

I think we have the same mother. She does the same thing.

I cringe and sigh and roll my eyes because I know she is calling to complain about how I'm not anorexic like her (using different words of course), or how I'm not making enough money or how i go out too much or how I'm putting too many miles on my car, and am I cleaning my house? (because 80% of my time should be devoted to cleaning the house), or how I should eat meat because not eating meat isn't healthy,

etc...

it's this kind of shit that was a big part of why i don't talk to mine anymore... if you're not a positive influence, you're a negative one, and therefore, you must go...

[Hellion]

My dad is a P.O.S.Liar

My mother is really AWSOME!!!

Glad they got divorced,Usually I call her instead.

[JaneDead]

i am always glad to hear from my mother. the only time i don't answer is if i am too busy to talk and do what i am doing at the same time.

just now thought again about the fact that one day i won't get calls from my mom anymore (that's assuming of course she would "pass on" before i do) and it breaks my heart when i think like that.

i think a lot more like that now that i just lost my father and wish i could talk to him again. he was great to have conversations with.

i will never take phone calls from my loved ones for granted or be annoyed by them.

[JaneDead]

here's for the rest of you :

Well, the telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

The telephone is screaming

Won't she leave me alone

The telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Well, every girl that I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Every girl I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Well, I hear Mother calling

But I don't need her as a friend

Oh, oh, Mother

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, women, please have mercy

Let this poor boy be

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

[torn asunder]

here's for the rest of you :

Well, the telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

The telephone is screaming

Won't she leave me alone

The telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Well, every girl that I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Every girl I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Well, I hear Mother calling

But I don't need her as a friend

Oh, oh, Mother

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, women, please have mercy

Let this poor boy be

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

oooooold police, right!? off synchronicity, i think... great song!!

[JaneDead]

oooooold police, right!? off synchronicity, i think... great song!!

yes. and yes indeed. i like this song too. whenever someone talks about talking to their mother on the phone i ALWAYS think of this song. always. even when i see my mom is calling.... at least the "telephone is ringing. is that my mother on the phone" goes through my head. all the time. i can't seem to control it.

[Brenda Starrr]

here's for the rest of you :

Well, the telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

The telephone is screaming

Won't she leave me alone

The telephone is ringing

Is that my mother on the phone?

Well, every girl that I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Every girl I go out with

Becomes my mother in the end

Well, I hear Mother calling

But I don't need her as a friend

Oh, oh, Mother

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

Oh, women, please have mercy

Let this poor boy be

Oh, Mother, dear, please listen

And don't devour me

OMG...

I love this. You just made my day.

[Msterbeau]

I love my parents. They love me. I'm happy to accept their call.

[Gauge]

i don't speak to my mother anymore... :erm

ditto

[LuluVox]

My first reaction is usually to think that something bad has happened.

[Onyx]

I like talking to my mom. She's pretty long-winded though, so sometimes I have to cut it short when I'm busy (which I often am). We talk a lot.

[Brenda Starrr]

I like talking to my mom. She's pretty long-winded though, so sometimes I have to cut it short when I'm busy (which I often am). We talk a lot.

LOL....

My mom is NOT long-winded. It's usually my sister and I doing all the talking!

[kellygrrrrrl]

Mom & I have a weird past.

We were ripped from her custordy when I was about 12....from then on, we had NO relationship....

she kind of just wanted to do her thing....she was free.

This year was monumental for us...an unspoken rekindling of our mother daughter relationship.

That makes me happy.

She has called me more this year than in the last 10 years combined.

I always thought of my Mom as kind of a girlfriend...rather than a mother.

But it seems that she has taken an active interest in getting closer to me.

I like that.

It feels good.

I associate it with her life death expirience, and recent health issues.....

but in any case.....it finally feels like I have a "Mom".

[Steven]

Mom & I have a weird past.

We were ripped from her custordy when I was about 12....from then on, we had NO relationship....

she kind of just wanted to do her thing....she was free.

This year was monumental for us...an unspoken rekindling of our mother daughter relationship.

That makes me happy.

She has called me more this year than in the last 10 years combined.

I always thought of my Mom as kind of a girlfriend...rather than a mother.

But it seems that she has taken an active interest in getting closer to me.

I like that.

It feels good.

I associate it with her life death expirience, and recent health issues.....

but in any case.....it finally feels like I have a "Mom".

this is just..."trippy"

I was taken from my mom when I was 2.

I have no memories whatsoever of having a Mom at home as a kid. I dont know what it is like.

my mom was also a free spirit, which led to her becoming a raging alcoholic and drug addict. I saw her like, maybe once every few years, and she was always living with some new asshole abuser.

I lived with her for one year when I was 15.

it was a bad experiment. It did not last long. We had quickly become drug buddies, not Mother and Son.

While "other kids" did whatever other kids did with the family on weekends (um.....soccer?) I had lost weekends full of cocaine, quailudes, whisky, Pencyclidne, and mom's "girlfriends" who were always along for the ride. I scored their dope for them at Howard and Navarro (HARDCORE Piru Blood territory and very fucking dangerous) and drove their cars (my mom had a Vette, they had beamers - it was very early 80's) and did whatever I wanted and learend about "older women". My friends thought I was so fucking cool, and at first I liked it, I thought I was so fucking cool too.

then I hated it. the facade did not last long, how could it really? Eventually it ended because I had a "buddy" who used to come party with me there at the house. I was 16. He was 19. She was 47. All three of us were professional addicts with huge appetites....I came home early one night. You figure it out.

We had a big three way WWF styled fist fight. Shit got broken. Guess who stayed and who left? I spent the next next year living on couches and in a playhouse. i didint come home again until another bizzaro chapter in her life came to pass, and that visit only lasted a couple of months.

I put some years and distance between us, and so did she, she never got sober till I was in my 30's. Thats alot of lost time. We did the obligatory holiday thing with Mom, that was about it for many years, too much shit between us, too much shit to watch, too many husbands (five - shit howdy), too much disfunction. And this is way before Jerry Springer....

So one day whilst in my 30's my wife and I were going to this big Xtian thign called a Harvest Crusade at Angel Stadium in Anaheim. We decided to take my mom, she says yes she wants to come. I'm sitting there with Lola and my little brother and some friends, and they do this big ALter call, and she looks at me and says "I want to go", just like that. Next thing I know there we are out on the baseball field with a huge crowd of other people.....

that was a long time ago. she's been clean since then, a couple of stumbles, but she's changed ALOT. Were pretty close. its still a little awkward between us, because motherhood in general is best applied during the period of a child's development and we just never had that between us....I still dont know what it's like. My other brothers had kids, so she's a grandma now and I do enjoy watching her do grandma things, its kind of magical to me to be honest with you to see something like that happen naturally and to actually feel the trust and love between her and my neices. On the flipside, my Mom understands much of the drive within me to do things the way I do them now. She was there for some of my lost years, she understands the bottom and the need to re-create yourself, and she is a link for me, between two different sorts of worlds, both of which make me who I am.

so....when she calls, its a welcome call.

we tend to keep it breif, we dont really small talk much, were both pretty straight shooters. She doesnet complain about anything or do the typical old mom stuff you hear about. She reminds me to call my brothers (Im very bad at that). Asks me about Laura. Its a good thing.

[Homicidalheathen]

My mom would. Or to see if it started raining yet where I am......or to discuss the state of her artheritis.

The last one.

And then she leaves me crazy messages, such as 'Sigh, you never pick up your phone. Peas are on sale. I know you like peas. They're on sale. You should buy some.'

Who calls to say peas are on sale?

[ManicQueen]

When mom calls I usually don't answer the phone and if I do I usually ignore what she has to says since most of it is all garbage anyway.

She annoys me. She irritates me. Just the sound of her voice makes my ears want to bleed.

[pomba gira]

The more I see of other families, the more I appreciate mine...

I am blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my MaMa... so I'm always happy when she calls. Especially now that my self-esteem is in tatters after 5 months of fruitless job hunting... she is always encouraging and supportive & makes me feel better.

It feels like even more of a blessing 'cos when I was younger we had all the standard mother-daughter issues, and I couldn't imagine us ever being friends. So if anyone is in that situation... there is hope, just give it time.

JaneDead- I do the same thing AFA imagining being w/out my MaMa- especially since my great-aunt passed away last summer. And when she was alive, and would want me to drive her around on errands or whatever... sometimes I would start getting annoyed, & remind myself "there will come a day- soon- when you would give ANYTHING to be able to spend a day driving Aunt Myrt around". It's so easy to take people for granted... I am really working on not doing so anymore.

Kellygrrrrrl- that's wonderful- I'm so happy for you! I remember how it felt when I reconnected with my father... like a huge burden of anger & resentment had been lifted from me. Our situation was nowhere near as extreme as yours, so I can imagine it must be an even more joyful feeling for you.

Steven- such an inspiring story. It's great that you & your mom are able to use all that lurid past experience as a basis for understanding and stability in the here & now. The corresponding part of my life is the one thing I can't share with my mother (she says she doesn't want to be reminded of all the time she spent expecting a "your daughter is dead" phone call) and it makes me sad sometimes.

[TygerLili]

I love my mom, I'm always happy to hear from her. My grandma on the other hand...yeah, lots of sighs and eyerolls.

If she calls and I don't pick up the first time she'll call every five minutes until I answer to make sure I'm not dead. Plus she "knows everything."

[Msterbeau]

this is just..."trippy"

I was taken from my mom when I was 2.

I have no memories whatsoever of having a Mom at home as a kid. I dont know what it is like.

my mom was also a free spirit, which led to her becoming a raging alcoholic and drug addict. I saw her like, maybe once every few years, and she was always living with some new asshole abuser.

I lived with her for one year when I was 15.

it was a bad experiment. It did not last long. We had quickly become drug buddies, not Mother and Son.

While "other kids" did whatever other kids did with the family on weekends (um.....soccer?) I had lost weekends full of cocaine, quailudes, whisky, Pencyclidne, and mom's "girlfriends" who were always along for the ride. I scored their dope for them at Howard and Navarro (HARDCORE Piru Blood territory and very fucking dangerous) and drove their cars (my mom had a Vette, they had beamers - it was very early 80's) and did whatever I wanted and learend about "older women". My friends thought I was so fucking cool, and at first I liked it, I thought I was so fucking cool too.

then I hated it. the facade did not last long, how could it really? Eventually it ended because I had a "buddy" who used to come party with me there at the house. I was 16. He was 19. She was 47. All three of us were professional addicts with huge appetites....I came home early one night. You figure it out.

We had a big three way WWF styled fist fight. Shit got broken. Guess who stayed and who left? I spent the next next year living on couches and in a playhouse. i didint come home again until another bizzaro chapter in her life came to pass, and that visit only lasted a couple of months.

I put some years and distance between us, and so did she, she never got sober till I was in my 30's. Thats alot of lost time. We did the obligatory holiday thing with Mom, that was about it for many years, too much shit between us, too much shit to watch, too many husbands (five - shit howdy), too much disfunction. And this is way before Jerry Springer....

So one day whilst in my 30's my wife and I were going to this big Xtian thign called a Harvest Crusade at Angel Stadium in Anaheim. We decided to take my mom, she says yes she wants to come. I'm sitting there with Lola and my little brother and some friends, and they do this big ALter call, and she looks at me and says "I want to go", just like that. Next thing I know there we are out on the baseball field with a huge crowd of other people.....

that was a long time ago. she's been clean since then, a couple of stumbles, but she's changed ALOT. Were pretty close. its still a little awkward between us, because motherhood in general is best applied during the period of a child's development and we just never had that between us....I still dont know what it's like. My other brothers had kids, so she's a grandma now and I do enjoy watching her do grandma things, its kind of magical to me to be honest with you to see something like that happen naturally and to actually feel the trust and love between her and my neices. On the flipside, my Mom understands much of the drive within me to do things the way I do them now. She was there for some of my lost years, she understands the bottom and the need to re-create yourself, and she is a link for me, between two different sorts of worlds, both of which make me who I am.

so....when she calls, its a welcome call.

we tend to keep it breif, we dont really small talk much, were both pretty straight shooters. She doesnet complain about anything or do the typical old mom stuff you hear about. She reminds me to call my brothers (Im very bad at that). Asks me about Laura. Its a good thing.

Wow. Just wow...

I feel so much sadness for people who have such traumatic childhoods. In your case, it's followed by a smile , knowing that you've been able to transition into a healthier place despite the early setbacks. I'm glad you and your mom have been able to come to some sort of understanding.

[Steven]

Wow. Just wow...

I feel so much sadness for people who have such traumatic childhoods. In your case, it's followed by a smile , knowing that you've been able to transition into a healthier place despite the early setbacks. I'm glad you and your mom have been able to come to some sort of understanding.

thank you for that Brutha.

I'm actually thankful for my past despite some of the thin lines I tread.

people get lost. happens to the best of us. amazing what you've learned once you find your way back.

[Steven]

The corresponding part of my life is the one thing I can't share with my mother (she says she doesn't want to be reminded of all the time she spent expecting a "your daughter is dead" phone call) and it makes me sad sometimes.

had to chuckle a bit on this one, cause its the exact same way with my Father and me.

your OK by me Pomba, I've a feeling those brown eyes of yours have seen many things....