untitled

[Daniel]

As I watched, plucked from the earth, the ground, a flower, a gesture.

As you grow smaller on the horizon, the sky, a flower, a gesture.

What I learned, I recall on the horizon, the sky, a promise, a moment.

What you taught, I learned in the silence, the thought, a promise, a moment.

Although my words, in the silence, the thought, a gesture, a promise.

Although you sigh, plucked from the earth, the ground, a moment, a flower.

[soothsayer]

That is wonderful. It flows very well from one phrase to another. =)

[paradox]

nice work. feels lyrical.

[Brenda Starrr]

Very pretty

[Onyx]

I have trouble finding a response for creations that are moving to me (so I often read but don't respond).

It does feel very lyrical, excellent on it's own and also would be amazing set to the right music.

[Daniel]

Thanks. =) What's funny is that I write a lot of music that is usually inspired by much of the poetry I write... but I would likely never put the words to the music. I don't have any real explanation for this, heh.

[Brenda Starrr]

All I know is that it's touching. It's haunting and beautiful.

[JaneDead]

as i read it, i sort of had it set to music in my head, and imagined it being sung rather than said. i don't do that with all poetry, but this seemed more song like to be than just "spoken" poetry.