missing him

[Lilith]

I miss Lestat.......

He is in Clair, MI. right now with his cousin building a cabin to make some cash he left wensday, any how they are staying out there untill the cabin is done so they can get it done ASAP so we can pay the mortage n keep the damn house, and i am missing him really bad, i was all ok while i was out with our friends, (who are staying with me while he is away to help with the kids), iam ok while i am at work and i am ok while every one is awake in the house keeping my mind occupied with what ever, but as i sit here, the kids are out side playing, friends are napping, and all i can think about is lestat. It is odd as all i have been thinking about latley is how we are going to get the mortage paid, but now all i can think about is snuggleing in his arms. Guys this is the first time in 81/2 years where i have not seen my husband with in any given 24hr period, i feel lost. I lost my belt at CC last night, my fav belt too :ermm: , and all i could think about was if lestat was here i would not have lost it cause he would have grabbed it for me, he is allways good about stuff like that.

My stupid phone speaker broke and it will not ring or let me use two way, and i know if he was here he could fix it, he kinda tried to talk friends trough fixing it but i ended up loosing all my #'s in my phone book, my phone is still broke, and it is aggreavating the hell out of me cause well i miss every one of his damn calls and when i call him back he is busy with building, i miss the excitment of hearing the phone ring and hoping it is him..... sounds silly but half of me is missing.

I dont know what to do with my self. I fell weird because i listen to the woman at work bitch about their hubbie and when their hubbie go out of town they get all happy and stuff, well they bugg me, and i dont feel that way. Dont get me wrong i enjoy the girls night out and my alone time but having him away for longer then say a day saddens me.

i talk alot to lestat, probally the only person in the world who heres me say anything important, and i have not said one important thing in three days, maybe i keep to many people out of my inner self, but when you take away the one who does get in i feel shut down or out of stock, i dont know how to explain it my mind is running faster then light right now, i dont have a center.

I wonder if i just described love or some sick twisted thoughts, i wonder this because i imagine i would feel the same if i lost one of my children perhaps even worse, but my mind says he is not my child...........

i dont know i cant focus maybe i am just freaking out

:unhappy:

lilith

[Brenda Starrr]

Wayne travels a lot for his job. I cry every time he gets on a plane, and miss him terribly while he is gone. It's as if time just drags while he's away. I hate it. Yes, it pays the bills. Yes, his job gives me the ability to run my own business. It just doesn't change the fact that I miss him so much while he's gone.

[Nerdcore]

living away from darqueknight has been painfull, And I used tolive with him. I cry every night still becuase he is not with me to hug and hold me. You are lucky your hubbys come home to you. Darque is not my husbnd but b/f and I cannot have him close to me as much anymore as id like.

[squee]

well for this day and a half

whos going to sleep in your

bed with me... :unhappy:

i miss both of you

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I've never been married (was close once) but i've had several close relationships , and when my SO was away especially in one particular instance im thinking of i felt quite alone.

Thinking back on it, the "they went away for awhile" (various times) happend several times, but , i do think that it had also a lot ot do with the fact that i was mentally isolated from anyone else at the time i could share ceritan thoughts with.

Its hard loving someone so much and having them be away. But its almost a sort of void-like feeling when at the same time you also have no real alternate for sharing your deeper thoughts/ideas. Which is different than just "my love is away and im missing him/her". When your love is also your only real "deep intimate friend" and they leave... :ermm:

At certian times i've had massive emotional barriers up, and if i was in a relationship at the time, and the only one allowed inside the barrier was my girlfriend, and they were fairly incommunicado for whatever reason (argument, distance, work related, wathever) its a seprate feeling that just "missing them". As there was no one else, just me and myself.

Me crying is a rare occurance but when this "alone + void + no real alternatve" thing has it me , ill have to admit i might have lost it once or twice or three or four times. (note i'll deny this posts existance if called on it!!.. my dog must have gotten to the keyboard somehow)

All you can do while waiting for him to come back is try to form some closer friendships, and try to just keep your mind busy with various intrests and such. Its hard , depending on where your at mentally (i've sooooo been there) but it does help.

As my ear and a warm positive vibes are available. Sometimes thats all anyone can offer.

Im still working on my magic wand that cures all bad things , but so far all i've come up with is the Listen (with optional hug attachment) System ™©.

[torn asunder]

:whistling:

[The_Dark]

The wife and I will be together 10 years in April. Int hat time we have been apart for more than a shift at work twice. It sucked both times to no end.

This is what real marriges feel like. You know, the marriges that end up lasting for 50 years. Being apart from your spouse is far worse than anything else life can throw at you. Well, except for a sick/injured child.

BTW, Where area of Clare? I live like.. 20-30min away.

[Nerdcore]

:grin: I could use a listesn with hug attack system

=)

[Lilith]

The wife and I will be together 10 years in April. Int hat time we have been apart for more than a shift at work twice. It sucked both times to no end.

This is what real marriges feel like. You know, the marriges that end up lasting for 50 years. Being apart from your spouse is far worse than anything else life can throw at you. Well, except for a sick/injured child.

BTW, Where area of Clare? I live like.. 20-30min away.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I just found out i spelled the name wrong, it is CLARE not Clair,

any how he is off of ludington road parcel #a62 (i think that's #, i am not too sure the damn road names kept changing on me, i got all confused..... :doh: ) that is where the cabin is being built.

i actually drove down there yestarday so the kids and i could spend easter with him, it was wonderful, the lady who owns the cabin cooked dinner for us all, the kids played in the woods, and then at the end of the night we went back to the holiday inn swam, soaked in the jacuzzi, hid inthe bathroom for "alone" :whistling: time and i drove back this morning. I feel refreshed. :grin:

Brian is the only person who has ever broken through my walls, and it is hard not to be able to express all those type things too him on a reg face to face basis. I have been trying to unload on the friends who are staying here but i often come off as insecure, which i am, but i am not comfertable with other people besides brian knowing all that. I trust my friends and i know they luv us, but not only are the things i talk about with them sound insecure, but i am very insecure about how they will react or what they think and so on......at the same time how ever i am eternally gratfull for the tiem and effort they have been putting in around here, i luv having them here and i want to be able to share at least certian parts of me located behind the wall..... it is just hard.

I do agree there are other tings worse that could happen, as a matter of fact i know, brian and i have already been through the sick/injured child thing. I keep trying to remeber how i handled all that, i dont know i think then i just did it, i never thought about it, it just did what i had too, maybe it was because i did not have time to think about what to do or about how i was feeling.

I dont know......

thank you all for replying! seeing all of your stories and words help alot, makes me feel i am not the only one who has felt as nutty as i do right now.

lilith

[Lilith]

well for this day and a half

whos going to sleep in your

bed with me... :unhappy:

i miss both of you

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

genie makes a nice bed mate!

:woot: :whistling:

seriously, i have loved having you be my snuggly buggly while Bri is away, i cant think of a better friend to sleep with.

luv ya girlie girl

lilith

[The_Dark]

Next time you going to Clare to visit let me know. I can give you the low down on that little town. Very interesting history. It was a Mafia town in the day. Hide out so to speak for those laying low. A good portion of land around there is still owned by certain familys from the Chicago area. If you take a close look at the upper story windows of the buildings down town.. you can see the steel bullet proof shudders on the insides of the windows...

[Fierce Critter]

Clare is our halfway point/stop on our trips from downriver to the Traverse City area. Wouldn't be a trip north without a stop at the Clare rest stop. :grin:

I so relate to you, Lillith. Up until I made a 4-day trip up to Michigan and back last year, Jon and I had not been apart a single day in our 6 year marriage. Oh - except for the week 3 months after we were married when I traveled to Michigan from where we were living in Florida, when I thought I was going to see my sick brother and ended up staying for a funeral.

Both times were hell for me and Jon. We can't stand being apart. We're one of those rare couples who can even work together and love it. If a job doesn't work out for Jon when we move back, we're thrilled at the thought of getting some kind of job together.

We spend plenty of alone time at the house. He in his workshop, me playing a video game or something in the house. We can be in the same room and yet not interacting as well. So that feeds any need we have to be "alone".

But we can't stand being too separated. Neither of us has any friends, or really wants any - we're each other's best friends. He very often passes on activities "with the guys" in order to be with me instead. Even though he knows he has my blessing - even encouragement - to hang out with someone else if he wants. He just plain "doesn't want".

Yeah, what Dark says is true. I can see us together 50 years from now. Even the things we clash on, even the most dark arguments or periods we have, we can see each other together forever.

You are blessed to have what appears to be just such a union.

[Lilith]

But we can't stand being too separated. Neither of us has any friends, or really wants any - we're each other's best friends. He very often passes on activities "with the guys" in order to be with me instead. Even though he knows he has my blessing - even encouragement - to hang out with someone else if he wants. He just plain "doesn't want".

Yeah, what Dark says is true. I can see us together 50 years from now. Even the things we clash on, even the most dark arguments or periods we have, we can see each other together forever.

You are blessed to have what appears to be just such a union.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yeah you both just pretty much summed up alot of what brian and i are.....I mean the whole going out thing and lack of friends for what ever reason really hits home over here.

i am glad to see atelast on some levels Lestat and i are nto so weird after all.

thank you

lilith

[Fierce Critter]

Not weird - lucky & blessed. :

[Lilith]

Not weird - lucky & blessed. :

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes, i do often feel that way. =) i just have to be reminded sometimes

thank you FC for doing so :

on a side note,

Lestat came home Yesterday :woot: AHHHHHHHHHHHH relief

He will how ever have to leave on monday again, and the way this looks this will be our schedule for at least the next month, gone for ever and a day, then home for a minute, the guy he is workign with has a ton of work but it is all farther north.

any how consider this your warning :arrow: LILITH is about to crack......... in other words i am sure i will be on here alot whinning about it.

thanks for listening guys

lilith