Anal Leakage

[Destroit]

So...I now would like to share with you, the greatest thing I've read on MSNBC in awhile. There's a weight loss pill now on the market called Alli, which is actually FDA approved, however it has some rather, how do I say, ghastly side effects. Either way, just read, it's amazing:

Diet Pill's Icky Effects Keep Users Honest

Threat of Embarassment Forces Alli Users to Eat Healthy...or Else

Sometimes, you can’t stop your weight-loss secrets from leaking out.

Dieters have been flocking to drugstores to pick up Alli, the first over-the-counter weight-loss pill to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration, despite the scary warning: Stray too far from your low-fat diet and you just might poop your pants.

The drug’s maker, GlaxoSmithKline, has been up front about the pill’s side effects, suggesting that first timers wear dark pants or bring a change of clothes to work until they get used to the diet pill’s potentially yucky consequences.

Still, it seems there’s no shortage of people willing to risk public humiliation to shed a few pounds. At one Los Angeles-area Walgreens, pharmacist Susie Uyu’s seen customer after customer march directly through the store toward the prominent Alli display. “I think they’re excited that it’s an over-the-counter product,” Uyu says.

And even though pharmacist Miyuki Anderson, who works at a Bartell Drugs in Seattle, warns everyone who eyes the Alli display about the messy side effects, it doesn’t stop most of them from buying the diet pill. (Anderson does, however, arm them with this helpful tip: “I tell the patients, try when you have a day off.”)

“We know it’s selling very well — better than we expected,” says Brian Jones, a GlaxoSmithKline spokesman. Jones declined to share any specific numbers. “But we don’t know if it’s going to last — there was a lot of pent-up anticipation.”

Anyone can try it

That anticipation refers to the origin of Alli; it’s the newly approved over-the-counter form of the prescription weight-loss drug Xenical. Now that it’s available in many major drugstores and grocery chains, it’s not just for the obese with a doctor’s prescription in hand — anyone who wants to lose a few can try it.

“The pill offers the promise of convenience, that someone has done the job for you,” says Adam Drewnowski, director of the Center for Public Health Nutrition at the University of Washington in Seattle. “People who don't live well, who stuff themselves with bags of snacks, in desperation they reach out for a pill.”

The drugmaker states very clearly that it’s no miracle drug, and only promises to help people toward moderate weight loss. For example, if someone were to lose 10 pounds from dieting, they’d lose 15 by combining their diet with Alli.

The diet pill works by blocking 25 percent of fat from being digested. Alli users take one pill with every meal, and to avoid an “Alli oops,” they should eat less than 42 grams of fat a day, or about 15 grams per meal. But those fat grams can be sneaky. One grande Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino contains 15 grams of fat, and if an Alli user adds even a low-fat muffin to that meal, it could get icky.

“It’s so important to understand that you must adopt a low-fat, healthy lifestyle,” Jones says. “We call them treatment effects — that’s a signal for you that you’re not staying in the guidelines. What Alli will not do is make up for not living a healthy lifestyle.”

Cheaters share cautionary tales

But we don’t always like to bother with directions. Those who haven’t completely followed instructions offer cautionary tales on the drug company’s Web site.

“(I)’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user.

It can strike any time — even in the early hours of the morning. One user writes: “(Y)a know how when you start moving around in the morning ya pass a little gas. Well, I did and then went into the bathroom and to my horror I had an orange river of grease running down my leg.”

Fellow cheaters advise each other on the best clean-up methods, and some even suggest using panty liners or Depends. One frugal user noted, “I’m thinking that infant diapers might be a cheaper way to go, just use them as a large pad.”

The gross side effects might scare away the less-committed, but some experts appreciate Alli’s very real, very immediate consequences of cheating on your diet.

“It forces you to eat a lower-fat diet — if you don’t, you’re violently penalized for not doing so,” says David Sarwer, the director of clinical services at the Center for Weight Loss and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. “When they eat a little too much fat, they’ll learn not to do it again.”

The drugmaker claims Alli is promoting healthier lifestyles by teaching users that weight loss involves eating healthy food and getting enough exercise — and Sarwer agrees.

“People who are struggling with their weight assume that thin people never think about what they eat,” Sarwer says. “I’ve always been impressed by patients who really rolled with the punches with some of these events. They say, ‘Well, I learned that I couldn’t do that. It taught me to eat differently.’ And that’s where I think Alli can be the greatest benefit.”

Side effects are avoidable

Some Alli enthusiasts have been conscientious enough to avoid any side effects. Carole McMahan, who’s trying to lose 10 pounds, started taking Alli the day the product hit drugstore shelves on June 15, and has been careful to follow the low-fat diet.

“No pun intended, but I’m very anal about it,” says McMahan, who’s 44 and lives in Greensboro, N.C. She appreciates the way Alli holds her accountable to her eating habits.

“I started very cautiously, and I’ve just grown more and more comfortable with it,” McMahan says. “I just follow the diet. I knew I couldn’t go out and order hot fudge cake.”

But some Alli fans, like 25-year-old Rachelle Beaini, are just asking for it. Beaini, who lives in Henderson, Nev., and wants to lose 20 pounds, has lost 6 pounds in two weeks without a single side effect. Inspired by her success, last week she dared to eat a meal of chicken nuggets — while wearing white pants. (Still no unpleasant consequences, she swears.)

Still, as some obesity experts point out, if you’ve made a change in your eating habits, why is a diet pill necessary? Drewnowski, the Seattle public-health researcher, says that hearing “Alli oops” stories frustrates him.

“I think it's utterly revolting, frankly,” Drewnowski says. “It controls your life — you focus on it all day. It’s like walking around with a colostomy bag.”

Instead of investing money in a diet pill, he encourages people to take the money they would’ve spent on Alli and put it toward buying healthier food. (A 20-day supply of Alli costs about $45 to $55.)

“See how much money you are spending on food daily,” Drewnowski says. “Factor in the extra amount for this drug and spend the entire amount on better food. You'll be happier and better nourished — and not obese.”

He adds, “I can't think that a healthy lifestyle requires carrying a spare pair of underpants.”

© 2007 MSNBC Interactive

[/end article]

BWHAHAHA OMFG. I cannot believe we live in a country where people would rather have ORANGE ANAL GOO running down their leg than put down that fourth Grilled Stuft Burrito. If you wanna lose weight WITHOUT pooping everywhere, here is the key (now pay attention, it's important!): Put down the food, get up, go outside, and move around. Repeat as necessary. I'd have to say my favorite lines in this entire article is as follows:

“(I)’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user.

It can strike any time — even in the early hours of the morning. One user writes: “(Y)a know how when you start moving around in the morning ya pass a little gas. Well, I did and then went into the bathroom and to my horror I had an orange river of grease running down my leg.”

[Nienna]

I've been in diet hell since November. I just lose very slowly and every time I think about food I gain weight. (long story, messed up body.) I saw this drug and rushed right out to buy it hoping it would help speed up the progess, since I had already firmly settled into a lifestyle change. Then I read the insert. Yeah no. I'll just settle for slower weight loss and no anal goo. LMAO

[creatureofthenyte]

Shit happens I guess LOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Destroit]

I've been in diet hell since November. I just lose very slowly and every time I think about food I gain weight. (long story, messed up body.) I saw this drug and rushed right out to buy it hoping it would help speed up the progess, since I had already firmly settled into a lifestyle change. Then I read the insert. Yeah no. I'll just settle for slower weight loss and no anal goo. LMAO

Oh I know. I did the diet pill thing myself a few times, but not this kind there's no way I would. I mean right now as we speak, I gained a good 15 lbs from last year, but I watch what I eat and go to the gym. I do NOT WANT TO POOP MY PANTS. That sorta thing ruins your rep at work, and then your friends start calling you S.A.D. (Slimy Anal Discharge). It's tough, but good for you for taking the correct weight loss route and if I ever meet you in real life and have you over, I'd be honored to let you sit on my futon knowing I won't have a nasty orange grease spill to clean up afterwards

[know_buddy_kares]

Here's something for ya...

Anal Seepage!

[saechalyn]

“It forces you to eat a lower-fat diet — if you don’t, you’re violently penalized for not doing so,” says David Sarwer, the director of clinical services at the Center for Weight Loss and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. “When they eat a little too much fat, they’ll learn not to do it again.”

If you want to lose weight and you need something that makes you shit yourself in order to be accountable for what you eat, you have far, far bigger problems than being fat.

[creatureofthenyte]

If you want to lose weight and you need something that makes you shit yourself in order to be accountable for what you eat, you have far, far bigger problems than being fat.

Ya don't even need that pill for that, if you want to clear yourself out good, eat taco bell.

[Destroit]

Ya don't even need that pill for that, if you want to clear yourself out good, eat taco bell.

lol or white castle. Whichever your preference is.

[creatureofthenyte]

lol or white castle. Whichever your preference is.

Well, we're "deprived" out here, we don't have white castle.

[freydis]

lol or white castle. Whichever your preference is.

If anyone wants digestive discomfort, they can have my gastric motility disorder (One doc says IBS, another thinks gallbladder probs). I can't have grease or fat, or i *hurt*. Sucks. No noticible weight loss from it, though. And no leakage.

[Destroit]

If anyone wants digestive discomfort, they can have my gastric motility disorder (One doc says IBS, another thinks gallbladder probs). I can't have grease or fat, or i *hurt*. Sucks. No noticible weight loss from it, though. And no leakage.

Ooooh good luck with that. That would suck. IMO, it sounds like a gallbladder issue because your gallbladder is where lipase is secreted from, which is the enzyme that breaks down lipids. If your fats are going through your system whole and being only slightly absorped by your intenstines, it's real ouchy. Good thing you don't get butt juices though Congrats on that.

[Marblez]

When Xenical (the prescription version of Alli) hitthe market, I thought about it and thought about it. I knew the side effects from the commercial (and the David Letterman show) but I realized that at that time, the side effects would be proportionate to the amount of fat in your diet. I took them for a bit and never had any difficulties whatsoever. Mainly, it helped guide me on a lower fat intake path.

People that are overweight due to diet (IMO) often do not know what low fat options are out there. I know that at one point, I could not imagine a life without french fries. There are so many tasty low fat options, for some people could just use the proverbial "kick in the pants" to get them to look for them.

Problem is the people that take it so that they CAN eat the french fries and have the fat blocked.... poor smelly fools.

[Destroit]

When Xenical (the prescription version of Alli) hitthe market, I thought about it and thought about it. I knew the side effects from the commercial (and the David Letterman show) but I realized that at that time, the side effects would be proportionate to the amount of fat in your diet. I took them for a bit and never had any difficulties whatsoever. Mainly, it helped guide me on a lower fat intake path.

People that are overweight due to diet (IMO) often do not know what low fat options are out there. I know that at one point, I could not imagine a life without french fries. There are so many tasty low fat options, for some people could just use the proverbial "kick in the pants" to get them to look for them.

Problem is the people that take it so that they CAN eat the french fries and have the fat blocked.... poor smelly fools.

Ewww yeah and those people, you know the ones taking the pills and still eatin' the grease, are the ones who are getting ass explosions. GROSS. Also, it's people usually who are lower income, and I don't mean to stereotype statistics do back this up, that not only can only afford fattening food (which is cheaper) but they are also very uneducated about the body generally and how fat/calories work etc. So not only are those people the ones who are generally obese but they're probably the same people who are running out and scrimping their money to buy this new weight loss crap. I even remember when my best friend Lisa and I tried to teach her morbidly obese step-sister how to lose weight she thought that Cheerios had more fat than Ranch dressing. Some people are just straight up ignorant with shit like that.

[freydis]

Ooooh good luck with that. That would suck. IMO, it sounds like a gallbladder issue because your gallbladder is where lipase is secreted from, which is the enzyme that breaks down lipids. If your fats are going through your system whole and being only slightly absorped by your intenstines, it's real ouchy. Good thing you don't get butt juices though Congrats on that.

lol.... it feels like someone's rooting around under my ribcage with a blunt spoon...

[Destroit]

lol.... it feels like someone's rooting around under my ribcage with a blunt spoon...

Yuh huh, if it's a little bit to the right just under your ribs, that's your gallbladder.

[Brenda Starrr]

I would KILL to find the episode of "The Colbet Report" with the segment on Alli.....

I almost pissed myself, it was so funny.

[Hellion]

E-Lax not needed

White Castle burgers and City Club draft beer can also have this effect.

[Hellion]

When your climbing up the ladder

and you here something splatter

Diarrhea

Diarrhea

When your on your way down

and you run into some brown

Diarrhea

Diarrhea

[Crazed Vampyress]

I decided in march to lose weight. i lost 30 pounds (give or take) by june but since then havent lost any more and even gained a couple back. as unhappy as i am at the gain, and the lack of more loss, i know its cuz i stopped eating properly and havent been doing any kind of exercising. i would love a quick weight loss solution to put me back on track. i love that i can say i lost 30 pounds. but there is NO WAY IN HELL im gonna walk around wearing a diaper all day so i can take a diet pill that causes me to have the bowel control of a newborn. Just.... no.

[know_buddy_kares]

I would KILL to find the episode of "The Colbet Report" with the segment on Alli.....

I almost pissed myself, it was so funny.

give more detail so i know better what you're talking about.. i just might be able to find it... i sorta have a gift to find things on the internet...

[violentivy]

A little light dance music on the subject?

[know_buddy_kares]

A little light dance music on the subject?

I already beat you to it up above there! here's the link as proof..

http://www.detroitgothic.net/index.php?sho...st&p=329679

[freydis]

Yuh huh, if it's a little bit to the right just under your ribs, that's your gallbladder.

....and that's what i keep telling the specialist. *No where else hurts*. But since they cant see any actual stones on the scan they did, he thinks it must be IBS. Me, i think I can't wait til i renew my insurance, so i can pick a different hospital. I am not fond of U of M. They love prescribing pills.

[Homicidalheathen]

Very true. Years of being anorexhic prob contributed to my current condition.

Dont mess with your gut health. I would rather weigh 20 lbs more and have my butthole back the way it was. I miss good healthy poos.

If you want to lose weight and you need something that makes you shit yourself in order to be accountable for what you eat, you have far, far bigger problems than being fat.

[TygerLili]

If you want to lose weight and you need something that makes you shit yourself in order to be accountable for what you eat, you have far, far bigger problems than being fat.

Amen!

As someone who's lost a significant amount of weight without ever having looked twice at a diet pill, my pet peave is people who think they're going to find some kind of miracle drug that allows them to sit around all day gorging on junk food and wind up with a Soloflex body. Put down the potato chips and get your ass on a treadmill, or accept the fact that you're going to be overweight. Sorry, but I think diet pills are one of the biggest wastes of money ever.