Roommate Stories

[TearSandrille]

I was just wondering about everyone's worst roommate stories.

One of my current roommates is pretty bad. Her boyfriend is always here even when she isn't. But I think the best story is when she left for the weekend leaving a very messy bacon pan with the nasty bacon grease still in it. I should have left it but instead I washed it. Well, when she came home on sunday I asked told her "You left your skeazy bacon grease pan." And, her reply should win some kind of stupid award she said and I quote "Well, when I pulled it out of the cupboard it was dirty. So, I had to wash it once, therefore I shouldn't have to wash it again." Now thats some logic.

[LadyWindstone]

oh geez. Duh moment.

[soothsayer]

When I was 18 I lived in flint with a friend and he thought it would be a good idea to bring home a 6 foot boa constricter. Yea, like I wanna sleep in a house with a creature that could strangle me to death in my sleep and eat me. No thanks. I moved quickly.

[JaneDead]

oh man i have TOO many awful roommate stories to even get started

but i will say this- i lived with people who when they were moving, packed up their dirty dishes, moved them to our new place and let them sit there dirty another 3 months. we had fruit flies SO bad. then it was time to move again and i don't know what they did with those dirty dishes but i didn't move with them that time.

they were THE worst roommates anyone could have.

[Black Sunday]

I had this roomate in Miami that was African American. When he didn't pay the rent for 2 months I asked him why and he responded "400 YEARS OF OPPRESSION AND YOU WANT ME TO PAY YOU RENT MONEY?"

I had another guy in Miami masturbate and moan loudly in the shower, sucks that was the only shower in the house so I sprayed quite well everytime i used it (fantastik spray that is).

Another roomate got in a car accident when he was 16 that killed someone....you'd think that would make him a better or safer driver now as an adult, right? Wrong. He nearly killed me the few times I got ina car with him. He got in like 20 accidents but his family are police so they wiped away all his points.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, i think I have you all beat when it comes to bad roomates. You people are insulting my bad roomates legacies with your trivial complaints...for I am the bad roomate KING.

[Brenda Starrr]

I lived with a girl who got pissed off at the condo association president. She went downstairs to this woman's condo, slapped her face, and came back upstairs. To this day, I don't know why this happened. She was just plain crazy. Too much shit to mention.

[Daniel]

You people are insulting my bad roomates legacies with your trivial complaints...for I am the bad roomate KING.

Pfft. Man, I've had a lot of roommmates. I've had a few that were fantastic, and others that were poo. But, as far as down right strange and otherwise horrible, I have the most fantastic stories EVER. I mean, I've had plenty of filthy, non-bill paying mother fuckers to last a life time. They are typical. But nothing tops Scradam.

Scradam, whose real name is Adam, was the roommate of a friend of mine named Scott. After a nasty break up with my girlfriend at the time, who I was living with, I called Scott to see if he needed another roommate. He said they had an extra room, so I moved in.

They had a one bedroom house that had a large, half finished basement. Scott had erected a wall dividing the basement in half, so had a decent size room carved out for himself. I stayed in the actual bedroom upstairs. Scradam stayed in the open cavity in the basement between Scott's room and the stairs. It wasn't a proper bedroom, just more of an open space. That meant his room was in the line of people traffic, since we had to go through his "room" to get to anywhere in the house. It was about the same as him camping the a hallway, except it was a little more wide.

This begs the question of "why" did Scradam live in the hallway? He wanted a public bedroom so we wouldn't think he masterbated. Of course, this didn't make up for the fact that he was blocked up all the time, had his walls covered in pictures of cute anime girls, and would obviously be having very explosive "wet dreams" periodically. He also showered with the door open so we wouldn't think he was doing anything inappropriate in there. Thanks, Scradam!

Occasionally, he would run into my room, grab his crotch from behind and scream for a bit, then run away.

One day, I walked into the kitchen, and this dude is baking a whole fucking tray of potatos. There had to be over a dozen of those things on the tray. He was then wrapping them in Taco Bell burrito wrappers and plopping htem in the refridgerator. When I asked what he was doing, he said he is preparing for his "potato diet". I'm totally like "omg wtf?", and he explains that he will no longer eat anything but potatos. This went on for at least a month.

One day, I bought some strawberries to eat. As you know, these days, when you buy strawberries from most grocery stores, they come packed in the plastic cartons. So, I came home, washed them, cut off the stims and bad parts. I put the good, washed parts in a bowl, and the nasty rotted parts in the plastic carton, which I then threw in the garbage.

The next day, I walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water, and the plastic carton had resurfaced to the top of the garbage. It was empty. I asked Scott why someone was digging through the trash, and he said "Scradam dug them out, thinking you were wasting the strawberries, and ate them". Fuck!

A week later, I bought some raspberries. I put them in the refridgerator. I came the next day to wash them and eat them, and over night, they had gone bad, and they all turned white and fuzzy. So, I threw them in the garbage. In an episode of deja vu, the next day I came to the kitchen, and the raspberries container had resurfaced to the top of the garbage... empty. I again asked Scott, and he said "Dude! Fucking Scradam ate them! I told him he was going to get violently ill, and he said it would be good for him". Fuck!

One time when he mowed the lawn, and we had a very large yard, he mowed everything except the word "POOP" really big in the yard so that anyone flying over head would see it.

The last time I saw Scradam he was wearing a tin foil hat he had constructed.

These are all things that sort of scratch the surface of how weird that guy is. A mutual friend of ours was so captivated by how odd and enigmatic Scradam is that he made this web site: http://www.scradam.com/

Now, I've had plenty of "bad" roommates. I've had some that I gave them bill money, they went and spent it on drugs and didn't pay the bills, and I got shit turned off, evicted, etc. I could tell stories like that all day. But, for out and out fucking weird and strange, Scradam is difficult to top.

[Nightflyerswmn]

Wow. Don't think I've ever had any roommates quite like that before.

I did however live with my boygriend and his friend and his girlfriend. They had 3 pit bulls that stayed in the house. And a chiuaua. They would piss and shit all over and no one would ever clean it up. Eventually I would be the one to do it simply because I couldn't stand the smell anymore.

I finally moved out after 6 lousy months.

[Brenda Starrr]

Scradam is a weirdo.

[Jarodaka]

An evil roommate used my soap. Rubbed his nasty pubes all over it. Gross. Fortunately, he was only subletting for a couple months.

[TearSandrille]

I am thoroughly impressed with the roommate stories. It makes me think that I don't have it so bad with my current roommate.

Why on earth was Scradam so damn paranoid about everyone thinking he was masturbating?

[lullaby1031]

Ok when I was 18 I moved to Texas and was staying in my own apartment with an ex. His buddy got his 16 year old g.f pregnant so I felt bad for the chic so I let them live with me... Then he got kicked out of his parents joint and asked if he could stay there too.. Ok fine, I told them they would have to pay their share and get jobs. Well, when he moved into my house, he FAILED to mention that his parents house was INFESTED with roaches. So while he was unpacking, I was staring at all his crap and I seen like 4 crawl out. I fuckin lost it, I couldn't totally get rid of those damn things for weeks! Exterminator after exterminator... EWWW (shudders at the thought) Then the ex decided I was being a "bitch" about the whole thing and had his fair share of whores around the place while I worked 2 full time jobs. None of them wanted to pay for anything and the little assholes wrecked my car one night driving it up to the store. I left about a month after that.

**Forgot to mention the hundreds of dollars he would call my own FATHER for saying crap like "I need my truck fixed can I barrow X amount" and he would waste it on heroin or coke as well as my own money if I had it hidden somewhere.

Then I had this married couple living with me. Things where cool till the chic got pregnant and started saying "Oh I can't work and I'm to tired to clean up" hoping that her hubby would get off his ass and do something.. Nope! Always a mess in the kitchen, HAIRBALLS in the tub, and instead of throwing the used cat litter AWAY, they just kept them in those plastic containers that the litter came in and stuffed it back underneath the stairs!!! Then her husband always made these comments that NO husband should make to their chics friend (which I did always say something to her about cuz I felt totally uncomfortable). So when they decided that they wheren't going to pay for rent anymore , I kicked them out and they packed up all their shit in one night and that was the end of that.

[DarkChylde]

Last summer I had roomates that were like that, not only they blew there share, but also even my share on drugs n other bullshit, and then we got the inviction noticed and I moved back ta my mom's for awhile, and a long time ago I Lived with some dirty motherfuckers for awhile *which is before my last roomates* they had over 4 cats and kept the litter box in there room, they wouldnt even bother cleanin it er anything, just left it sitting there, *which of course i didnt know about for the time being because I dont just waltz in peoples room* after months passed all of a sudden I noticed a very horrible stench coming from there, since they wasnt home for the time being I decided ta peak through the door....BOOM!!! there it is......Huge mountain of shit in the litter box's and shit everywhere, plus there was alot of fly's and trails of maggots leading from the closet and windowseal to the litter box's, and im like HOLY FUCKIN SHIT!! and they sleep through this? That explained why they always smelled like shit, of course they were really bad on hygeine also, they would not bother takin a shower for whole 3 MONTHS! me and my other roomate had ta sit down and talk with them, we asked em if they can atleast clean up all the shit in there room because it was starting to affect the whole apt. plus if they could also shower and put on frickin deoderant....Of course they never bothered, so then me and my roomate came to a conclusion ta kick them out, we told them they have a week ta start cleanin that shit and take showers if not, then Y'all nasty ass's outta here, of course they still didnt bother so they was out in a week, since we had 100$ just chillen on the table, we decided ta use it and pay the neighbor's 100$ ta clean that shit up, thats how nasty it was, and even the neighbor's almost came close of not wanting ta take the job lol which I couldnt really blame them....Aight well that concludes 2 story's of bad roomates I had in the past.

[TomCat]

My last roomie before I married the Antichrist, was kind of a chef, but the crap he made stank to high heaven and he'd cook his ass off on a friday, for example, and leave fish guts & shrinp tails in the garbage IN the house all weekend long and when we'd both get back from respective trips, well, imagine the smell in august of rotting seafood.... ack!

[JaneDead]

your scradam sounds like the adam i actually used to live with.

[JaneDead]

though i just looked at your scradam and he is 1000 times more normal looking than my adam

[TomCat]

Dyno had a roomie from hell too? Wow, what a small world. LOL

[TearSandrille]

I swear with roommates it's sometimes a cold war over who will clean up something. I was living with my friend her boyfriend in a trailer once, and she had accidently cut her hand open washing dishes. Had to go to the hospital and get stitches. Well, after that I was on vacation for a week. When I came back every dish was dirty and rotting with food. On top of that they had a really bad habit of putting their cigarettes out in their old food when the ashtray was too full. And, mind you, this ashtray was the size of a serving dish.

[JaneDead]

Dyno had a roomie from hell too?  Wow, what a small world.  LOL

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

oh man you have NO idea. none. :woot:

but all in all i loved that adam though most would think of him as a crack head. and could not stand the guy.

one of the funniest things he ever told me was he hated white people. and he is white. and he meant it i am sure.

[TomCat]

I guess my ex constitutes a "roomie" of sorts, since I almost never banged her after we got married. That lazy BIOTCH left rotting dishes in the sink for an entire week while I was away hunting @ deer camp. I came home, and that tramp said, "Can you do something about those dishes after making dinner? I was so incensed, I threw them all out and ordered a pizza. I told her I wouldn't cook for her anymore if she didn't have the decency to at least do the dishes.

[JaneDead]

  I was so incensed, I threw them all out and ordered a pizza.  I told her I wouldn't cook for her anymore if she didn't have the decency to at least do the dishes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that is something i would do

[TomCat]

that is something i would do

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good call...too bad after that incident I still maintained the yard, did all the laundry, housecleaning, grocery shopping, and took care of the herd (4 REALLY big dogs), for the last two months before we separated. I shouldn't have lifted another finger to help that ho. :doh

[soothsayer]

I lived with some friends for a few months when I was 23 and they were crazy. They had gotten a pigs head and kept it in a garbage bag on the side of the house. There was other garbage next to it as well. After a few months of it sitting there the landlord insisted they clean up or else. No one could remember what was in the bag so it was opened and the stentch was horrid. Somehow that smell got through an open window and the downstairs smelled of rotting pig flesh for weeks. Ewwwww.

[Daevion]

..people sleeping in the same room as cat shit and maggots that don't shower..gawd what the fuck is the world coming too!!

An Ex GF had a roomate that was soo lazy there would be piles of leftovers, tacobell bags, milkshakes, halfeaten bowels of cereal, just piles of trash that would encircle his lazy boy recliner...the place always smelled like spoiled milk! Other than the fact that he was a total slob, he was a really cool guy.

[Daniel]

though i just looked at your scradam and he is 1000 times more normal looking than my adam

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Scradam's greatest strength was how he looked like such a nice young lad.