The Corrupted Wish Game

[anametamystik]

I wish my employer would realize what a moron my supervisor is, and fire his ass for incompetence.

Granted... He's fired and you're promoted to his position because you obviously know how to do his job better. Six months and six days and six hours later, the cycle repeats itself when you're fired by an underling who realizes that you are a total moron and wishes that his employer would fire you for incompetence.

-----

I wish that this producer would finally arrive so that we can get on with the show.

Edited June 7, 2008 by anametamystik

[jarmana]

GRANTED!!!!!!!!!

Your Producer has just arrived.... Arrived with bad news. Your director, your cameraman, and half your actors and actresses, have been killed in a plane crash. Your set, being built by the lowest bidder, has just crumbled into 1,000 tiny pieces. Your stagehands gave you the finger and walked off. But at least your Producer is there..... oh wait he just left to help George Lucas make his next monstrosity.

I wish I knew who was coming for dinner.

[~Tszura~]

Granted! You've been a part of a secret pact of scientists in possesion of the worlds only time machine. Everyone gets to have it for one trip, and then pass it on to the next member. You decide with this turn that you will go back in time to pick up Gandhi, Einstein, and Nostradamus, and have them over for dinner. One of your fellow scientists has agreed to go pick everyone up so you can cook a fabulous meal. Dinner time is getting close, and you are extremely excited, but notice that you have been experiencing the last 30 minutes over and over again. Something has gone terribly wrong, and you are caught in a time loop! So now you know who's coming to dinner, but they will never get there. (AND you're caught in a time loop~ which sucks!! lol)

..........................................................................

I wish I was a sculptor.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Done and done.

You're not only a sculptor, but the GREATEST sculptor.

The Italians chucked Michelangelo's David out with yesterday's trash, and now YOUR masterpiece, which is four tons of carved marble in the likeness of a mustard jar, is sitting at the Galleria d' Accademia is Florence.

Well done.

But what artist didn't suffer a little for her work, eh?

Your follow-up piece, which is four tons of carved marble in the likeness of, fittingly, a ketchup bottle, did not fare so well.

The Italians are so disgusted with your work that they throw both the ketchup and the mustard out with David and you are now shunned by the art community. You are forced to live in a Thomas Kincaide painting, and it is ALWAYS daylight.

I wish I had a clean house.

[Bernadette]

Shazam! Your house is clean.

In fact, all your belongings, furniture, appliances, fixtures, etc are gone! And there is a strong smell of bleach that overcomes you as you sit alone in this now empty house. You pass out. Your wish goes awry. When you awake -- the house in not only immaculate, but it has disappeared around you. You sit alone in the elements on a slab of dirt.

I wish I could take the summer off of work.

[anametamystik]

granted...

You're unemployed....

I wish to go to TasteFest

[Burrich1]

Granted!!!

You post an ad on Craig's List trying to get someone to take you to Tastefest. It is answered by one

Armin Meiwes, who has a history of answering such ads. After you guys chat, you get to know him a little better. Liking his uniquely refreshing freakish style, you decide to go with him. You have a great time, sample a little bit of everything. Armin spends the whole time nodding, smiling, and saying it's good, but not as good as what he's making in the crock pot back home.

After a long enjoyable day, you go back to Armin's place, where you sample a little bit of something that tastes like veal. It's mediocre at best, and not up to all the hype Armin has given it. When you tell him you don't really care for veal, he informs you it's actually Bernd Jürgen Brandes, whom he recently killed and has been eating. You laugh, and say you don't believe him. He takes you into his "slaughter room" where he moves aside a few Star Trek books and a knife and opens the freezer. Your knees weaken and your bowels turn to water as you realize he was telling the truth. Fortunately, you don't have time to gasp as Armin stabs you in the throat with the knife and hangs you on the same meat hook Bernd ended up on.

I wish I needed less sleep at night.

Edited September 4, 2008 by Burrich1

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

I just wish I had enough money to pay my bills

[StormKnight (1)]

^^ Granted, but now you are so deprived of adequate REM time that you have lost your grip on reality and focus on your activities.

^ Granted, but the only way to earn it is to play russian roulette...with an automatic weapon.

***

I wish I could control my own destiny better.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

^ Granted, but its only controled by a joy stick that your wrost Enemy has stole from you

I wish I knew where to scrap my car at. Apparently if you call a scrap yard they get offenend at the thought

Edited September 4, 2008 by Jessika Fxckin rocks

[Msterbeau]

Congratulations. Moe and Shmoe scrappers can do it. They come to your house, dismantle the car and bury it in your yard, causing oil, coolant and other harmful chemicals to seep into the groundwater and poison you.

I wish for work days to be one hour and weekends to be five days.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

granted!

Your new job: being fisted by Honda's AMIGO (I believe that's what they call it) robot while lying face down on a bed of hot coals.

I wish I had a time machine.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

granted!

Time Travel Face Bag! When placed over the head, it allows someone to travel through time, at the speed of *regular* time

I wish I was not ignored

[Simon Bar Sinister]

granted!

I just told the Hell's Angels that you ripped off a bunch of their meth. In addition, the Crips think you stole a couple keys of blow, and the Latin Kings are mad at you for lifting all that tar...they'll all be showing up at your door any minute.

I wish I could walk on water.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

granted!

But now you can't walk on land with out Drowning

I wish I could smoke weed

[Msterbeau]

You can. But you get the munchies every time you do. Oh wait.....

I'd like to be able to turn off my emotions. Completely.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

granted!

but you cant turn them back on

(oh and btw i can't smoke or i could go to jail)

I wish Jesus would put me in his top 8(i'm in satans)

[Msterbeau]

Granted. You are in Jesus' top eight drunkest women ever.

I wish for sunny, 70 degree weather for the rest of the year.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

Granted. but its always like that putting all weather people out of work causeing goble warm to melt ice caps and japan to sink under water

I wish i had band aid

[Msterbeau]

Granted. But it's so sticky it never comes off.

I wish to never get sick again.

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

Granted. but you will never get well again either and ur stuck with a sore throat, stuffy nose and cold forever

Wishes to go to sleep

[Simon Bar Sinister]

granted!

...unfortunately it's the local veterinarian assisting you.

I wish 21st-century life was like The Jetsons (like we were promised! )

Edited October 22, 2008 by SpammerOvTheGods

[Jessika Fxckin rocks (1)]

granted!

but there is no ground like the cartoon also

I wish I knew the muffin man

[TheGimp]

i wish i had a 12inch penis but iam not cutting off 3 inches for anybody so i wish for a Dr.Pepper and a Hooker

[TheGimp]

i forgot to grant chickies wish so you now know the muffin man but he turns out to be asshole and gives you a muffin filled with exlax