Saddness At Dawn

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

Saddness At Dawn

Souls, dancing on the moonlight

Love, playing by the firelight

Breath, falling off of summer's breeze

Sweat pouring from the pleasure of our sins

A shared laugh, in the dark of night

A knowing glance, flowing to a lover's eyes

A hungry touch, gracing both our skin

A deep love and passion, rooted in our hearts

A sudden sound

And the dream ends

The tears flow

Just a memory

He's gone now

His spot is cold

Her heart is dead now

For her soul's alone.

~Andrea Edwards

©04/15/2008

[brandywine0880]

I really liked this. I think it's because it reminded me of this re~occuring dream I used to have when I was with my ex. In the dream I knew he was going to leave, I was deeply sad and crying and he would just look at me, kind of with this blank stare, and turn away and leave. When I'd wake up I would feel such relief seeing him beside me. Then after we ended our relationship I would still have dreams about him, only now when I woke up I was alone in bed.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

thank you for your comments. its rare that I get feed back on here.

edit to say:

I have more poems on here, if you look around more.

(as do several other DGNers... Rev. has a lot of good ones. )

[torn asunder]

i really dug the subject matter, but i'm a rhyme/meter, and it's hard for me to offer input on pieces that come across more as free verse.

that being said, nice job with this!

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

yeah, i usually rhyme, but i don't know.. didn't seem to work here. I'm trying to broaden my writing style.

Thank you for your input.

[taysteewonderbunny]

That is nice.

[GothicRavenGoddess (3)]

thank you

[Enishi]

Good job.