Rants Of A Booking Agent

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

I hate it when bands bitch about not getting paid, but the crowd they played to was there for someone else. I booked you because you told me that you could bring more then 10 people....and then you play...and there are 2-3 ppl there to see you.

You still want to get paid?

Are you shytting me?

You should have been happy, at that point, to have played at all in the show...because you obviously either didn't promote the show, nor care to call more then 2-3 ppl.

I hate it when you work your ass off for a band, and there is no appreciation, and then when most of the work is done, bam, stabbed in the back. I'm the one looking for gigs for you...I'm the one designing the pretty sick flyers...the hand-out bills...researching the best prices for shirts, shot glasses, etc...trying to make sure you get booked with bands that will flow very well together...always on the look-out for good oppertunities for you to get higher on the food chain. You handed those reins over to me, because you knew thats what I do...and I didn't ask for alot of money, or any at all. I do it because I love the music, and I believe in your band. If I didn't, then I wouldn't have bothered helping you.

A little fucking respect and appreciation would be nice....at least enough where I'm not gonan drop 300-400 on you so you can get on a compilation CD, and when it comes in, you decided that you can just ride on what work I have done and you don't need me anymore.

I hate bands that LIE about STUPID SHYT. IF you can't make a date, last minute, because of medical reasons...FUCKING LET ME KNOW. Don't go "ummm...we can't make it....we have to....do this thing". Don't fucking give me that. Thats fucking Rookie ass shyt and I have no time for it. If it's bad enough where you can't play, then fucking tell me...because thats excusable. Broken hands, broken ankles, severe bronchitis, your GF is giving birth....FUCKING LET ME KNOW.

Bands that lie about shyt, weither it be medical or not, only get those lies discovered and then people don't want to work with you anymore...and your loss is another bands gain.

STOP MAKING "MUSICIANS DESCISIONS"!!! These are done by band members who are also band managers and are one of my BIGGIEST pet peeves. IF you are booked for one, or more, god-damn performances....MONTHS IN ADVANCE...and last minute, you decide to go record 1 or two tracks, or go do a photoshoot last minute, and skip your shows, your a fucking joke. You hired me to get you shows, you hired me to expose you, you hired me to get shyt done. If all that is happening, your descision "for the good of the music" just dropped a fucking case of live C4 on my work, and your credability as a responsiable performer. Don't get me wrong, there are bands that have members as managers that make responsiable, reliable descisions...and their trust worthy....I don't mind those bands...i will work with those bands. But bands that decide their worth their shyt in gold, and can just toss a show away to go do something like that....and it's a show you've had for a while now...thats fucking retarded...don't do it.

I hate local bands that ask for Gurantees before I've seen you perform.

I make sure almost every band I've worked with on a local level knows that, unless I see your draw ability, at least once, or I know from VERY VIABLE sources that your draw is decent at worst...i'm not paying you a fucking gurantee.

Don't sit there and fucking ask for $150-$300 dollars if I haven't seen you perform, or someone I know hasn't seen you perform.

Don't ask for more money then your worth. Telling me over the myspace, or over the phone, that you can bring SO many people doesn't mean shyt to me. I know my band prices...I know what bands on what levels get paid...don't say "well...we want $300 to come play" and you do a handful of fucking shows every six months...FUCK YOU...I can use that money to pay two bands that can bring double the people that your band alone will.

This goes out to larger acts as well....don't fucking tell me that your worth such and such, especailly when I seen you play and you had maybe....30-40 ppl on a saturday night.

If your more fucking expensive then Mushroomhead or Static X (both can be done under $5000 per band), and you draw maybe....1/15th of what they can on a bad night, your obviously over rated and over paid. Someone needs to stop cupping your balls and telling you your fucking amazing.

IF you want a gurantee, no matter the amount...FUCKING PROVE YOUR WORTH IT...OR GO DO SOMETHING ELSE!!!

Oh...and here is another one....Bands, BRING ENOUGH GAS MONEY TO GET YOU TO THE NEXT VENUE/BACK HOME!!!

It is not the venues responsability, nor mine, to make sure you can get here and back, or even to the next venue. If you play the show, and don't have a gurantee, and no-one came to see you except your dad and mom..and they got in for free...you get NOTHING...NADA...NEIN...ZIP...ZILCH...NO MONEY. If your not smart enough to make sure you got enough money to get you from point A to Point B, don't bitch at me....don't bitch at the bar. You wanna know who to bitch at?

Go bitch at your fans, because they obviously didn't give a rats ass enough about you to come out and support you to the point where you could make it home or to the next venue. I am not paying your fucking gas bill...I got enough bills of my own that I couldn't care less about yours. If your stupid ass didn't bring anyone, and wasn't smart enough to bring enough money to get you home, or to the next venue...and your stuck...then your fucking stupid and deserve what you got. Don't fucking call me and go "hey, we're stuck...cuz no one came out to see us and we didn't have a gurantee"...and then get mad when I hang up on you, or laugh, or most likely, explain to you how thats NOT my problem.

Also...bands...DO YOUR OWN PROMOTION IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO COME OUT TO SEE YOU!!!! If you are a local act, and you want people to come see you, do the majority of your own fucking promotion. I don't know all your fans...hell...I don't even know your mom and dad. Don't expect me to personally find every fucking person that loves watching you perform, drag them to a show, and make them pay at the door. It's your job to get ppl to your shows...all I do is give you the materials, and promote you through the bar, and possibally, the radio. I am too busy with other bands to focus on getting YOUR fans to a show....I can understand if their far away, or if it's an off night, but if it's fucking firday and saturday...and half the band lives right down from the bar...and you bring NO ONE because you didn't promote....here is a suggestion....go take a long walk of a short pier and go FUCK YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN STUPIDITY...there are plenty of bands that do their own promotions, and are well-reconized because of it.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

So... your mad because... you entered a contract with a band and had to make good on it even though the show was not all that good?

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

So... your mad because... you entered a contract with a band and had to make good on it even though the show was not all that good?

no...I made the post because of numerous bands do the same thing over and over, and then they wonder why companies don't work with them, and they also bitch and whine about not getting paid.

It's only the promoter/booker's responsiblity to pay a band what is stated in a gurantee (if that gurantee is carried out appropriately), or pay per person through the door.

There are many bands that play to a group of 20-30 ppl....but it's 20-30 ppl that belong to someone else...and they expect to get paid.

Bands need to understand that plenty of booking agents do this a their prime source of income...it's their job. Those bands also need to understand that, just like any other job, if you outsource to another person/ group of ppl, those ppl are expected to perform the task within certian degrees. It those degree's aren't met, then why should payment be forwarded??

I don't ask much, but I do ask that bands do self-promotion in some decent form, and that a minimum of 10-15 paying ppl, for an opening act, be there to support you....even if those ppl leave after you play....it's 10-15 ppl that support you...and if they support you, consistantly, then it shows that you have a following....and only by having a following can you even scale higher.

To many bands don't know how to get where they hope to be....they just think it's gonna happen to them.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

OK... so you have opening bands trying to get some face recognition and some scratch to boot. You dont want to pay them if they don't provide at least 10-15 paying customers at the gate... and do thier own promotions...

Maybe they should hire a promoter.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

Most can't afford to hire a promotor.

I don't say it just for my benefit...it benefits the bands as well...alot of bands just don't see it like that.

If your bringing in so many people, consistantly, to shows to see you, promoters and venues notice..and then they will offer the bands a gig every 4-6 weeks. A consistant show oppertunity means consistant money...or close to it.

That will then become into oppertunities for bands to play shows with nationals, and increases their chances of getting on tours, at least regionally.

[Homicidalheathen]

I hear about bands that get stiffed a lot too......have to sell their own tix.....work for free AND pay their own gas......drinks......get equipment stolen out of the place......

so it goes both ways ya know.

[Guest GodfallenPromos]

I hear about bands that get stiffed a lot too......have to sell their own tix.....work for free AND pay their own gas......drinks......get equipment stolen out of the place......

so it goes both ways ya know.

I've seen this happen, but unless it is my show, or a show I am personally involved in, there is little to be done.

As for selling their own tix....what is wrong with this if your a local band?

Bands have to be intelligent about descisions when it comes to shows. Don't just jump on any show, and even be careful about what shows with nationals you choose. Research your national...make sure, if there ability is there, that you attend one of their shows early on. This will give you an idea of what their pull is like.

I know bands that Poll their fans before they take a national show, so they know if it will be worth their time or not.

I know alot of bands that pick up ticket shows just to get exposure...or hope that they can...and then no-body reall buys the tickets, because there isn't a really good reason to come see the show.

I have tried, VERY HARD, from the start to make sure everyone gets paid...even if that means I walk out with nothing and means that show is a loss...but sometimes, because of crowd draw...it can't be done. Also...if a band didn't draw anyone, then what is the point of paying them? They can be mad at me all they want...but I was there at the show...it was your "fans" that never showed.

Yes..drinks are a pain in the ass...but unless it's a band with a crowd that LOVES to drink...I'm not worried about you paying for your own booze.

Stolen Equipment...there is no excuse for that...if it's not yours...and your not helping the ppl it belongs to laod it up, or in the middle of a set-up or tear down...don't fuck with it. All bands are pretty much in the same boat...this shyt costs money...we all know it...so why steal from another band? you don't think that any decent sound guy or promotor is keeping track of who leaves when??...comon.

Yes..I know it goes both ways...and I know many, MANY bands that work their ass off...and have gotten shafted...and I feel for them...and I try to right it, if I have the ability to do so. I have no problems with those bands.

I am talking about the bands that just EXPECT it to happen, HH...they expect ppl to pay them, even if hardly any work, or absolutely no work on their part, was put into it.