List of stupid stunts

[Homicidalheathen]

Lets see if anyone can top it.

(no more extreme sports for mom btw)

went sledding, ended up at the bottom of the hill with my head through a rusty barrel.

Went rolling in a rusty barrel...got rust in my eyes that time too

Swung on a rope from the rafters and fell through the floor, scraping every vertibrae on the way down from that stupid ladder...ended up on my ass on a pile of metal pots and pans...but at least they broke my fall.

went down the stairs on a wheel thing, cement stairs...was knocked out for a day or so...

Fell ice skating twice, one busted knee cap one severe concusion...Johnny knoxville aint got nothin on me..whoot!

Fell on roller blades and hurt wrist

stepped on a few nails in a burned down barn and one piece of glass...

wiped out going down a hill on my bike and got stitches in the chin and forehead...

One major car accident that wasn't my fault but I should have helped the driver stay aware...thats the buddy system at work btw

Fell flat on my face drunk

3 dislocated knees in each leg (that makes 6)

7 bad sprained ankles from running here and there and shit...

shot a shot gun without bracing when I weighed 80lbs...ended up a few feet back and on the ground...

cut my hand on a can lid...stitches...long story

fell off a hill got knocked out, 16 stitches...those damn hills...but are they fun...

fell off a sink...another long story...cut my head open...too drunk to care about stitches...

(my head looks like I had a lobotomy or two)

lit my thumb on fire...that one really fucking hurt. Damn fake nails...

I will think of more later. If I can remember.

Oh yah I fell off a horse 4x and got bit once...and stepped on...almost got creamed by a bull...chased by a goose, and bit by a dog. Farm childhoods bring wonderful memories. Oh and attacked by a rooster.

[Homicidalheathen]

oh yah the go cart chain to the back. Forgot that one.

[Azeuron]

do we need to set you up with a helmet and water wings?

[StormKnight (1)]

Biking downhill on the 4th of July, looking up at fireworks, with no corrective lenses/glasses. The end result was impact with the rear-end of a PARKED Thunderbird, flying over said Thunderbird, rolling to land on my back and head, and bending the frame of the bicycle so the tire was bent back into the middle of the frame. The Thunderbird was still drivable.

Walking on a wet picnic table bench, only to slip and land left-face first into the wet picnic table. Looked like John Merrick, the Elephant Man, for weeks, complete with drooling effect. "I am not an animal! I am a klutzy, danger-prone Hawaiian kid!!!"

I tell you, the number of times I came close to a Dawin Award...

[Homicidalheathen]

no, I got the 9 lives thing goin for me...

[Azeuron]

well from the looks of it you've done that over at least 2 fold lol

[Homicidalheathen]

Lol good one

best opening scene in a movie ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNSq46VHPTo

[creatureofthenyte]

I once, when I was a kid, tried cutting a 3"x 3" piece of paper, with a pocket knife by holding the edge of the piece of paper in one hand and then tried to cut it by slashing at it with the knife in my other hand. The only thing that got cut & slashed was the side of the end of my left thumb. Damn what a crimson waterfall that was!

[TheGimp]

got on a sled tied a rope to a car had car pull me rope wraped around wrist fell off sled got pulled 2 blocks on snow and ice at 20mph

fun

[TitsMcGee]

~When I was 7 I fell 25 ft. out of a weeping willow tree, doctor said I was lucky a branch caught me 2 ft. before I hit the ground or I'd be in a wheel chair.

~In junior high track, I was running the 200m hurdles and the last hurdle my foot caught and i scrapped up my knee and elbow from landing on them.

~Mutiple sprained ankles from basketball/volleyball in high school.

~Knees and ankles are just shot from being a catcher in softball for 8 years.

~Arms and wrists are all scared up from being stupid in general that most had to recieve stitches/staples.

~I was peeling corn from the garden a few years back, and somehow the husk cut my finger bad enough that I had to get stitches. That was a new one for the docs in the ER.

~I got a concusion hitting my head while cleaning up after a homecoming dance at my CC from hitting a steelbar.

~I put my back out cleaning/reorganizng out the back room at the state park I was working at, the day before the safety inspection. Stupid 70 pound generator.

[Homicidalheathen]

Quote: I was peeling corn from the garden a few years back, and somehow the husk cut my finger back enough that I had to get stitches. That was a new one for the docs in the ER.

Yah I have heard of paper cuts...but corn husk cuts??? You might be a redneck if...lol

I thought of one more. I ran head first into a tree and knocked myself on my ass. I was nakey at the time. I got sticks stuck to me bum. But my ego was more bruised than my arse that time.

[TitsMcGee]

Quote: I was peeling corn from the garden a few years back, and somehow the husk cut my finger back enough that I had to get stitches. That was a new one for the docs in the ER.

Yah I have heard of paper cuts...but corn husk cuts??? You might be a redneck if...lol

That shit is apparently sharper than one would think lol. Now I wear gloves when I'm peeling the corn.

[Homicidalheathen]

Still one of my fav videos

reminds me of my first bike riding lesson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU6ZOI1ppBA

[StormKnight (1)]

When I still had an aquarium, did some repairs to the in-tank heater....never grab a heater element for a tank heater with it still plugged in, no matter how much ceramic is surrounding the coils.

[Homicidalheathen]

oh yes electrocution...3x by an old bad stove, and once by a lamp....

gets your heart beating funny.

[StormKnight (1)]

oh yes electrocution...3x by an old bad stove, and once by a lamp....

gets your heart beating funny.

Now if I can find someone that makes my heart do that...lol

Let's see. Well, for the longest time, I have suspected the Forces of Darkness ™ have had a wager that I would not live to see my next birthday. Every birthday, The FoD ™ let me know in no small terms that they have lost good money on me surviving another year. A lot of those stupid things hit me hard around the birthday:

-Blowing $1200.00 of tires on a car by driving through what was a cleaned up construction area.

-Being in car wrecks on that fateful day

-and other, more dangerous ways to end my existence.

So, for the Birthday celebration, I ask that peope either keep a human shield around me, or keep me from driving.

[Homicidalheathen]

or this...either works.

...I sorta got tangled in an electric fence once as well...love horses, love pain.

[Mouf Breathah]

I thought of one more. I ran head first into a tree and knocked myself on my ass. I was nakey at the time. I got sticks stuck to me bum. But my ego was more bruised than my arse that time.

Were you being chased by a machette-weilding, hockey mask wearing serial killer? They do tend to frown on the nakey nakey time. lol.