Cambodian Zombie Parasite

[Paper Hearts]

Military Forces quarantine Quan'sul

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

-BBC News

[Onyx]

Holy shit.

This can not be a real story.

Can it? If so, it's fascinating, but to me it seems physically impossible for a dead body to have purposeful movements and be able to direct violent actions.

[Paper Hearts]

http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm

[Onyx]

Holy shit.

This can not be a real story.

Can it?  If so, it's fascinating, but to me it seems physically impossible for a dead body to have purposeful movements and be able to direct violent actions.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Edited to add -- nope, doesn't seem to be real. Not mentioned on the BBC website or any of the major newsfeeds that I can find. Damn. Wouldn't been pretty cool, though horrific if it got loose on large scale.

*sigh* and here I thought I might see footage of a real zombie. (ack, I feel like a sicko for typing that) :blink

[Onyx]

Unfortunately, that's not actually the BBC website, just a spoof:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&saf...5.127.124.62%22

[Paper Hearts]

I'm not sure how you mean...

[Onyx]

It's a fake site - I was fooled for a bit, but look at the first part of the address in your browser in the link - it's a number, not the BBC. If you go to the real BBC site which is here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/

and do a search, that article isn't found, also it isn't on any of the major news feeds.

Also notice the date of the article - April 1 is April Fool's day.

It's a very well done spoof though! Excellent work. Had me going for a few minutes.

[Paper Hearts]

I think you might be right. My Freind George told me to look up this story and i didn't want to believe him either but he's a PHD who works in the anesthesiology dept at Mercy-i didn't notice the IP address instead of BBC.UK.

What a cunt!

[Onyx]

Heh heh. It's a really good joke though!

I sort of feel bad for spoiling it. I was really excited for a minute or two there because it is so well-written.

[SomeDanGuy]

Always check the IP. There's no reason a major news place would have a pure IP address. The same sort of prank circulated at my college, where someone made it look like there was a news article saying that the olsen twins were going to attend school there

[Paper Hearts]

Thanx, man. Now i just need to get back at him-i'm no person to fuck with either...he's got a nice one coming.

[Scary Guy]

Also if you look at the date it is a dead giveaway as well.

Last Updated: Friday, 1 April, 2005, 17:00 GMT 18:00 UK

However every site has an IP. http://67.15.107.3

^where DGN is hosted.

[lullaby1031]

aww phhfftt.... too good to be true.. :devil

[Daevion]

not bad, not bad at all.. :grin :laughing

should make that into a movie, if it hasn't already been done that is