Stupid people

[Homicidalheathen]

I see stupid people...

Tillamook man injured after unattended shotgun discharges in boat.

Photo: Oregon State Police

(TILLAMOOK, Ore.) - Police say a Tillamook-area man was injured Saturday morning while duck hunting when his shotgun discharged after it may have been contacted by his dog and struck him in the leg as he was outside his boat.

Oregon State Police Sergeant Todd Hoodenpyl, says 23-year old Matthew Markum and his brother were duck hunting at Tillamook Bay at approximately 7:30 AM when the incident took place.

They were near Bay City, using an 11-foot open aluminum boat to go from the land to their decoys. The men were accompanied by their 3-year old male Yellow Labrador.

Hoodenpyl says the shotgun blast happened while both hunters were outside of the boat, the dog and Matthew's loaded 12 gauge shotgun were inside the boat. The shotgun round put a hole in the left side of the boat and struck Matthew Markum's leg.

Hoodenpyl says Markum's brother immediately transported him in the boat to the bank where medical attention was provided by Tillamook Ambulance. The injured hunter was transported to Tillamook County General Hospital and eventually transferred to Emanuel Hospital for further treatment.

Sergeant Hoodenpyl noticed while securing the shotgun that the safety was in the off position, something which is an important reminder to anyone transporting or carrying a loaded weapon.

"Hunting accidents can be prevented by following safety guidelines. This includes always keeping the firearm's safety on when not using the firearm," said Hoodenpyl.

[Homicidalheathen]

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[Homicidalheathen]

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Unconfirmed by Darwin

Darwin says, "Another first-person medical story."

Our young hero, accompanied by his concerned young girlfriend, sought professional medical advice. Upon entering the examination room, the young man gingerly lowered his pants and asked for my opinion on his immensely swollen, dark purple penis. Attempting to defuse his anxiety, I calmly asked what had happened.

He was unwilling to speak. His girlfriend replied hesitantly, "Nothing. We woke up this morning and it was like that."

The physician reassured the young couple that:

(1) It would not drop off.

(2) It would heal.

(3) Oral sex can be dangerous!

This young man was blessed with a girlfriend with vacuum cleaner suction, and the previous night he had suffered severe barotrauma to his most beloved anatomical structure. Yes, he had almost been sucked out of the gene pool!