George Carlin Appreciation

[Oh_My_Goth]

I loved this Man.. He said all of the things many people where already thinking, but have always been to afraid to say it out loud

"Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people so ugly you wouldn't want to touch them in the first place?"

~George Carlin

[phee]

(nice thread)

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "

-George Carlin

[Oh_My_Goth]

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

~Carlin

[Hellion]

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

[Oh_My_Goth]

"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits."

[phee]

Religion: If this [word] offends you, welcome to the world of sane and realistic critical thought. More harm has been done to the collective human psyche by religion than by all the fucking and cocksucking since the dawn of time. By the way, many religious people (including the ordained) fuck and suck each other's cocks all the time.

[Hellion]

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

[phee]

They say rather than cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. They don't mention anything about cursing a lack of candles.

[Hellion]

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

[phee]

"One thing leads to another"? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

[Hellion]

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

[Hellion]

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

[Oh_My_Goth]

"The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions."

[Hellion]

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

[DJ Nihil]

It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

[phee]

Gentlemen.... we're history.... (BILL AND TED)

[Raev]

and that ladies and gentleman, is why I pray to Joe Pesci

[phee]

The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows were all the bad girls live

[Shaun]

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity

[torn asunder]

"the nice thing about living on the seashore is that you only have assholes on three sides of you. and if they come from (the other way) you can hear them splashing!"

[Slogo]

"Happens to be." "He happens to be black." Like it's a fucking accident, you know. He happens to be black? Yes, he happens to be black. Ah, yes, yes, yes. He had two black parents? Oh, yes, that's right, two black parents. And they fucked? Oh, indeed they did. So where does the surprise part come in? I would think it would be more unusual if he just "happened to be" Scandinavian!

[Saint Germain]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

[Shaun]

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

[Slogo]

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

[x99percent]

"Get ON the plane"... that's what they say, "Get ON the plane"...

Screw you, I'm getting *IN* the plane!!