My Dad Died

[Troy Spiral (13)]

My father died recently. I've been reluctant to post anything about this anywhere as I'm not sure why or what good it would do, or even if I want to talk about it publicly. Most of what i might say in response to questions or even just well wishes might not be something i want to post in an open forum. (email / pms / calls are fine) But it really is horrible.

I saw him or talked to him virtually every day. Many of the things I care about from history to science to everything in between were planted by him when i was young. Often he was the only one that actually CARED about the same subjects as I did, not that we agreed on everything but he at least valued things. In later years we argued so much that I often wished he wasn't around, now I feel so guilty about that. I'm probably taking it harder than I should since I already have emotional / stress issues related to a car accident from years ago that still haven't gone away, but I'ts just surreal that he isn't around anymore. Intellectually I know its "not my fault" but honestly, people do listen to others and can change their behavior based on what others encourage them to do. I just keep thinking if i would have pushed him a bit more earlier in life to eat better and such he might still be around. Maybe if i talked to him more in his younger years we wouldn't have become so argumentative in later years. Toward the end he WAS eating very well and trying to live a healthy life, just too little to late. I never really bought into the "it was just their time" thing, thats just something people say, its not based on any reality. We are a socially interdependent species what we do does affect others.

I miss him a lot. =(

[creatureofthenyte]

I'm sorry for your loss Troy.

[torn asunder]

thoughts are with you troy...

[phee]

I am sorry sir.... *bows*

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

Troy.. I understand. I was really close to my father before he passed also. It's a very hard thing to deal with. Talking does help. Stay strong.

[Destroit]

In a situation such as that you have to understand that you were the kid and he was the adult, the choices he made, unhealthy or otherwise, were his own choices. If he was bent on not being healthy, there was nothing you could have done to stop him.

He sounded like a great man from the small excerpt you typed out. You should be glad you had him and vice versa, you could have definitely had waaaaay worse in the father category (i.e. See Chernobyl's sperm donor ).

:

My inbox is always open for random huggage and you're one of the people on here who has top hug priority.

In a situation such as that you have to understand that you were the kid and he was the adult, the choices he made, unhealthy or otherwise, were his own choices. If he was bent on not being healthy, there was nothing you could have done to stop him.

He sounded like a great man from the small excerpt you typed out. You should be glad you had him and vice versa, you could have definitely had waaaaay worse in the father category (i.e. See Chernobyl's sperm donor ).

:

My inbox is always open for random huggage and you're one of the people on here who has top hug priority.

[KatRN05]

So sorry for your loss.

[pleasurekatzen]

Really sorry to hear this, Troy. A little over a year ago, I lost my Grandfather. He and my Grandmother helped my mother raise me. I lived with them for the majority of the first 7 years of my life, and he and I remained incredibly close, visiting often, traveling together, and talking regularly.

Obviously, it's normal to miss him. I know I think about my Grandfather every single day. Watching him slip into the grips of dementia and alzheimers disease, it was like a little bit of my heart was being ripped out every day. Since his passing- though I know I should feel relieved that he's no longer suffering- it's kinda felt like I've been walking through life in a haze. Some days are easier than others, but I think that's par for the course.

Bottom line: If you ever need someone to vent to or just needs to spill your guts, feel free to message me. Also, it's easy to blame ourselves for the decisions of others, especially those we care greatly for; however, it's also incredibly unfair and self-destructive as well.

Hang in there, Troy.

[Shaun]

My condolences

[taysteewonderbunny]

I don't know what to say except that I am sorry for your loss, trite as that may sound. *hugs*

[LadyKay]

I am very sorry for you lost. There are really no words to say. You will be in my thoughts. Very sorry.

[TheGimp]

sorry Troy my condolences

[jynxxxedangel]

My deepest sympathies, Troy. I can't think of anything else to say, because simple words cannot take away the pain you are feeling. *hugs*

[prick]

Your in my prayers.

[TitsMcGee]

You're in my prayer Troy, and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here for you.

[eatdirt426]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Tyger]

My condolences.

[kat (1)]

Troy, you and your family are in my heart and thoughts. It's okay to let it out, everyone needs support when they are going through something like this. You don't have to feel alone, I think DGN is our own little adoptive family here, we are all here for you. I know you don't really know me personally, but I lost my father 12 years ago in April. If you ever need to talk I am here, along with so many other's.

[Msterbeau]

I dread the day my father dies. You have my deepest sympathies. Reach out to your friends for support. It's why we're here.

[StormKnight (1)]

i was expecting my dad to be a cantankerous old man who would spoil/love the grandchildren I would give him, and would live with me when I grew up and finished residency. Cantankerous in his usual way.

Metastatic bladder cancer blew *that* part of my grand plans out of the water.

Ping/call if you want to talk.

Edited November 9, 2010 by StormKnight

[Enishi]

Hey man sorry to hear of your loss. :(

[Simon Bar Sinister]

my deepest condolences to you and yours, Troy. :(

[Onyx]

(((Hugs)))

My deepest sympathy for your loss.

[lordkraven]

i am very sorry for your loss troy i lost my father as well recently i wish you the best at this time of sadness

[Rev.Reverence]

AH...Death...the Great Leveler:

"...as from Star Dust we are all Born, so, surely, & soon, into Dust, we shall return..."

~~~REV.REVERENCE

My deepest condolences..& heart felt prayers, for the quickest crossing..

~AMEN, SO MOT IT BE!~