im drunk and have to say this

[Nerdcore]

im osrry for being a misrable bitch on this board. god how selfish am I .. I mean there are starving people out there and here I am complaining.. but i dont see it that way all the time. I want to end it all.. but I am so chicken. Im sorry I m sorry Im sorry. I am misrable with my life and I wont do anything about it. Im expecting people to help.. but all I have gotten is help and i have not seen it till now. HOW STUPID. Im selfish and child like. yes I do need profesional help .. and I am getting it.. but Im tired SOOO tired of the meds and the talking..all I do is talk talk talk.. I wanna run and run far far away till I cannot breath anymore and my legs hurt.. but I am afraid of being homeless.. I have never been .. it scares the hell out of me.. god i am so tired of being a bitch .. sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

end..

[mallochai]

ah, becky....

Don't think of it as being chicken, think of it as being RIGHT. Ending it all isn't the way to get better, just the way to get out.

Keep crying for help til you don't need it anymore, you're never ready until you really feel that you are.

Chin up.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh yes! Can we have a new term for the 'drunken dial?' How about the 'Drunken post?' Or the drunken IM? Fistlover and I were chatting yesturday (she would have come to Meph but like me, started hitting the wine and pot early lol) and she was typing and have you noticed how people slurr their words like when they talk while typing drunk? It was so cute. Kinda like this post.

im osrry for being a misrable bitch on this board. god how selfish am I .. I mean  there are starving people out there and here I am complaining.. but i dont see it that way all the time. I want to end it all.. but I am so chicken. Im sorry I m sorry Im sorry. I am misrable with my life and I wont do anything about it. Im expecting people to help.. but all I have gotten is help and i have not seen it till now. HOW STUPID. Im selfish and child like. yes I do need profesional help .. and I am getting it.. but Im tired SOOO tired of the meds and the talking..all I do is talk talk talk.. I wanna run and run far far away till I cannot breath anymore and my legs hurt.. but I am afraid of being homeless.. I have never been .. it scares the hell out of me.. god i am so tired of being a bitch .. sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

end..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[kellygrrrrrl]

I feel this way even when I am not drunk. It is in our human nature to be like this. It is when we realize that this is how we are and that it is time to change that we feel so down.....it is lifting ourselves up and recognizing that this is not how we should be. It is up to ourselves to stop. We know what we have learned. Coping skills, social skills, we have had hardships that harden our souls, but we allow it to happen. But when we soften up, we can see our error, and make room for improvement.

You don't need help.....Life is hard. It is how we deal with it that can be unhealthy. We need to LEARN how to cope. Learn how NOT to be. Look at past mistakes, and not dwell on them and feel bad, but to learn from them, and learn what not to do. Move forward. Can you think of anything thing to MAKE UP for these errors?

Maybe join a local charity or develope your own!

HA Yeah, I should take my own advice sometimes.

.................................................................. :erm

[Nerdcore]

I feel like such an ass writing this.. I dont even remember writing this..

god why do I put shit up here thinking people give a shit

sorry to waste more space

[Onyx]

There are people here who care.

It's hard as hell being alone and trying to support yourself. It's not easy, but it can be done, even if you have to work two jobs for awhile. Everyone needs a little help now and then, and the time will come when someone needs some help from you.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Hey now,

I appreciate that you did post that. Your thoughts are the same thoughts that I am having and it helps just to know that there is SOMEONE out there who understands.

[Daevion]

I feel this way even when I am not drunk.  It is in our human nature to be like this.  It is when we realize that this is how we are and that it is time to change that we feel so down.....it is lifting ourselves up and recognizing that this is not how we should be.  It is up to ourselves to stop.  We know what we have learned.  Coping skills, social skills, we have had hardships that harden our souls, but we allow it to happen.  But when we soften up, we can see our error, and make room for improvement. 

You don't need help.....Life is hard.  It is how we deal with it that can be unhealthy.  We need to LEARN how to cope.  Learn how NOT to be.  Look at past mistakes, and not dwell on them and feel bad, but to learn from them, and learn what not to do.  Move forward.  Can you think of anything thing to MAKE UP for these errors? 

Maybe join a local charity or develope your own! 

HA Yeah, I should take my own advice sometimes.

.................................................................. :erm

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I hear ya there...advice is way easier to give than it is to take

[Paper Hearts]

I don't see that you want anything from us and I think you know there is nothing, really nothing, that anyone can give you, more than attention. Of course, we will give you attention if you ask, because you deserve it but it seems like what you're wanting is something different, something from yourself. -It'll only be as difficult to get that (whatever it is), as you make it.

[xorderofchaosx]

im osrry for being a misrable bitch on this board. god how selfish am I .. I mean  there are starving people out there and here I am complaining.. but i dont see it that way all the time. I want to end it all.. but I am so chicken. Im sorry I m sorry Im sorry. I am misrable with my life and I wont do anything about it. Im expecting people to help.. but all I have gotten is help and i have not seen it till now. HOW STUPID. Im selfish and child like. yes I do need profesional help .. and I am getting it.. but Im tired SOOO tired of the meds and the talking..all I do is talk talk talk.. I wanna run and run far far away till I cannot breath anymore and my legs hurt.. but I am afraid of being homeless.. I have never been .. it scares the hell out of me.. god i am so tired of being a bitch .. sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

end..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i think most people have these thoughts from time to time...it's just easier to voice them while inebriated...and for the record, being homeless sucks...at any rate depression is a fact of life..."this too shall pass" buck up kiddo and have another beer:)

[Dollardave]

I never had any issues with u beck ur a nice person.

[Homicidalheathen]

I love this site. Get drunk. Post a dark or depressing message. We will love and understand you! Unlike those stupid local chat assholes.

[Guest MsMaldoror]

Good point, PH.

I don't see that you want anything from us and I think you know there is nothing, really nothing, that anyone can give you, more than attention. Of course, we will give you attention if you ask, because you deserve it but it seems like what you're wanting is something different, something from yourself. -It'll only be as difficult to get that (whatever it is), as you make it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>