DGN R. I. P.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

DGN will fail soon.  It is my fault.  I've been EXTREMELY depressed and even though I've been trying to 'get over it' if anyone knows anything about depression it isn't always as easy as that.  I have been just hoping that my tiny income will cover the DGN expenses and had this fantasy that I would be able to make enough via the new housespiral.com website to just pay for it myself. Well the website (house spiral) isn't doing that well, not because it's not a sound business, it's just due to lack of motivation (see depression above). 

So, my bad plan has failed in terms of DGN.  I should have been trying to drum up donations for DGN specifically (apologies to Tron who 90% of the time is the only donor) which was another reason I wanted to try and pay for it via house spiral profits (of which there are none after operating costs... again due to lack of energy/motivation)

So... Bottom line? DGN will go offline any day here as all the costs are in arrears.  I'm still trying, but my bank account and both credit cards are overdrawn due to regular bills and I don't see me climbing out of that hole anytime soon. (making the depression CRAZY bad in a way that no one wants to read typed out here)

As usual, we need about 50 bucks a month to run DGN (at least 30-40 but 50 was always the number as if you average all the costs out that is roughly what it comes to with quarterly and yearly bills that don't hit every month factored in).

If anyone wants to help here is a link to the PayPal account (any amount would help)  

 

DGN March Survival <--- donate here

$50 is our minimum goal. 

 

(the reason the easy donation box is not there is 1. we do not have a current licence for IPB (the software that runs the board, due to money minimum $35/mon) and we also do not have an updated version of the (fairly cheap) donation software (money again 39.95/year) so it looks less professional and makes it harder to get donations, the poor get poorer)

 

 

[TronRP]

DGN R.I.P. !?!?!?!?

NOPE!!! THIS CAN'T HAPPEN!!!!!

[sekhmet2002]

Hang in there. Things will hopefully be better soon.

[Class-Punk]

Having dealt with depression throughout most of my adult life, I can tell you that its better to focus on what you can control than what you can't, or to continously reaffirm that there are ways within your means for the problems that you find are important to solve in your life.  If you attack yourself then you've already missed the perspective you need to be in a better place, which is that if you are failing at something its almost always for reasons that are bigger than you are; so by understanding that, you can begin to forgive yourself and work around it.  When you try to get to the future you want in as few steps as possible, you're usually more focused on your failures, and that leads to self-criticism and depression.  Whatever you want, its about taking small steps and getting small achievements that make you proud of yourself rather than critical of yourself; sometimes that can mean pursuing alternatives you never thought you would, but the great thing about doing it is that sometimes you fall in love with those alternatives.

Edited March 12, 2018 by Class-Punk

[Troy Spiral (13)]

On 3/12/2018 at 12:43 PM, Class-Punk said:

Having dealt with depression throughout most of my adult life, I can tell you that its better to focus on what you can control than what you can't, or to continously reaffirm that there are ways within your means for the problems that you find are important to solve in your life.  If you attack yourself then you've already missed the perspective you need to be in a better place, which is that if you are failing at something its almost always for reasons that are bigger than you are; so by understanding that, you can begin to forgive yourself and work around it.  When you try to get to the future you want in as few steps as possible, you're usually more focused on your failures, and that leads to self-criticism and depression.  Whatever you want, its about taking small steps and getting small achievements that make you proud of yourself rather than critical of yourself; sometimes that can mean pursuing alternatives you never thought you would, but the great thing about doing it is that sometimes you fall in love with those alternatives.

Yeah definitely understand and can identify.  I have found other things that I would not have thought of or known about if I was "the old me"  (the depression started around 2004).  What i call 'mourning my past life' is a huge waste of time and just makes me more bummed out. But, I seem to do it anyway.  I try to tell myself Rome wasn't built in a day and all I can do is 'manage' things for now.  Try not to set my expectations too high (which I really hate but logically it's just pragmatic).  The self-deprecation which I don't think I do TOO much has slowly added up though over years.  I used to always be a "can do" type person, which some of that is still here despite being unrecognizable as my old iron-will troy, which I need to just let go of. 

All of that would be a pain in the ass that could be dealt with if there wasn't this added layer of being utterly flat broke which has nothing to do with it but casts a massive shadow over everything else. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Thanks a ton to Tron, Sommer, Micheal, and Bobbi for the help and the donations and the effort.  As usual, I can't express my thanks enough and often fail to just due to you know, damn life.  *huge group hug*