How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

[NocteSpiritus]

Like I gave myself a migraine with the double chocolate ice cream. But it's dealable since I can take a couple pills/smoke something to help.

[TronRP]

Feels like I had a nice little workout.  Just finished a 3 hour clean up of leaves and tree branches from the side alley to part of the back alley.  I wasn't sure if I would be feeling up to getting any outside work done after chauffeuring to Southfield earlier this morning, but I did...yay.  😁

[NocteSpiritus]

Like I actually did something today. Other than sit around at work (got there early two hours early; which I partially blame the schedule times before today) and got paid an hour for it; did 'full lawn service' at the house. Mow, trim work (which could be better, but it'll do), and blew the cuttings back onto the lawn. 

[TronRP]

I truly feel like I've reached that point where people say "I don't know my own strength".  I picked up something that I'm used to feeling the weight of and it literally felt like it was only about 2 ounces.  I almost panicked, but then I remembered that this year I seriously committed to weight training, not just lifting a weight and saying "hey, I lifted it".

[NocteSpiritus]

Like just shutting down for a while. Things aren't looking good for the father, and it's the usual talk/preparing paperwork. So it'll just be the (hopefully slow and handleable) decent process of budgeting on the behalf of me and the mini me (youngest sister) for bills. 

Opening day for work has been pushed back, again. And there's so many days/times I'm willing to handle this before I start looking for another job. I wanna hang onto this airport job, but with the lack of progress even with pay, I need a secondary job. I can do uber once I get the car insurance and other paperwork worked out and in my name.

So much info I wanna just break down and just spill here, but so much I'm holding back because "no one really wants to hear this".

[TronRP]

10 minutes ago, NocteSpiritus said:

Like just shutting down for a while. Things aren't looking good for the father, and it's the usual talk/preparing paperwork. So it'll just be the (hopefully slow and handleable) decent process of budgeting on the behalf of me and the mini me (youngest sister) for bills. 

Opening day for work has been pushed back, again. And there's so many days/times I'm willing to handle this before I start looking for another job. I wanna hang onto this airport job, but with the lack of progress even with pay, I need a secondary job. I can do uber once I get the car insurance and other paperwork worked out and in my name.

So much info I wanna just break down and just spill here, but so much I'm holding back because "no one really wants to hear this".

~~~~~

You do realize this is where you break down and spill your guts.  How do you think I know so much about everybody...I'm a nosey little bugger...

[NocteSpiritus]

4 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

You do realize this is where you break down and spill your guts.  How do you think I know so much about everybody...I'm a nosey little bugger...

I break down and spill my guts, the flood gates that are springing holes in my eyes won't hold. Part of it is that it's a parent. Another is just ... I don't know. Empathic or just picking up the energies of the sister, mom, and aunt earlier.

[TronRP]

2 minutes ago, NocteSpiritus said:

I break down and spill my guts, the flood gates that are springing holes in my eyes won't hold. Part of it is that it's a parent. Another is just ... I don't know. Empathic or just picking up the energies of the sister, mom, and aunt earlier.

~~~~~

Trust me, I totally understand.  A couple of years before you joined DGN, me and Trene were going through the slow decline and loss of our mother along with the possibility of losing the Monchichis.  The entire ordeal took a full year from October 2014 until October of 2015.  We wrote about the experience and dreams we were having during and after the Repass.  It was very therapeutic. 

[NocteSpiritus]

12 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Trust me, I totally understand.  A couple of years before you joined DGN, me and Trene were going through the slow decline and loss of our mother along with the possibility of losing the Monchichis.  The entire ordeal took a full year from October 2014 until October of 2015.  We wrote about the experience and dreams we were having during and after the Repass.  It was very therapeutic. 

That's an idea; writing it down. It's just getting myself to actually sit and write that. It's a trip just trying to get some of the original fiction work done.

[TronRP]

12 minutes ago, NocteSpiritus said:

That's an idea; writing it down. It's just getting myself to actually sit and write that. It's a trip just trying to get some of the original fiction work done.

~~~~~

That's the good thing about this site.  You just write a bit, a word, a statement, a story...there is no guideline or rules to it.

[kat (1)]

You guys I just found out my mother has to take insulin shots,  she had a bp of 254 over..I can't remember what it was because I just heard the 254 part and froze up. The doctor said that they have no idea how she didn't have a heart attack as a result we actually think she may have had something like a mild one but I guess she has to have the ekg, the doctor told her that she needs to start talking to us to discuss her wishes and get a advance directive in place.  She's only 59. She can reverse this stuff I hope. I'm struggling with the relationship issues I have with her, I love my mother I don't care about our past. I'd rather her be around longer and listen to her bitch and stuff than never hear her voice again.  I'm sorry I just found this out and I felt I could post about it because it seems like you guys understand.  

Hugs and love and prayers and positive thoughts to you guys. 

Edited May 16, 2019 by kat

[TronRP]

4 minutes ago, kat said:

You guys I just found out my mother has to take insulin shots,  she had a bp of 254 over..I can't remember what it was because I just heard the 254 part and froze up. The doctor said that they have no idea how she didn't have a heart attack as a result we actually think she may have had something like a mild one but I guess she has to have the ekg, the doctor told her that she needs to start talking to us to discuss her wishes and get a advance directive in place.  She's only 59. She can reverse this stuff I hope. I'm struggling with the relationship issues I have with her, I love my mother I don't care about our past. I'd rather her be around longer and listen to her bitch and stuff than never hear her voice again.  I'm sorry I just found this out and I felt I could post about it because it seems like you guys understand.  

Hugs and love and prayers and positive thoughts to you guys. 

~~~~~

You know we understand.  You were there for us with our mother.  Life still goes on, but it helps when you can share the difficult moments with others. 

[kat (1)]

1 minute ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

You know we understand.  You were there for us with our mother.  Life still goes on, but it helps when you can share the difficult moments with others. 

My heart broke for you and your family.  I think about life and death a lot, I worry about not seizing every moment and taking life and people for granted.  I want people to know they our loved and that their life mattered. 

[TronRP]

3 minutes ago, kat said:

My heart broke for you and your family.  I think about life and death a lot, I worry about not seizing every moment and taking life and people for granted.  I want people to know they our loved and that their life mattered. 

~~~~~

That's exactly why I'm all about saying things when you can.  Stuff can be awkward from time to time and more often than not stuff needs to be said that people don't necessarily want to hear, but in the long run, I feel it create stronger bonds and shows the true level of care that people have for each other.

[TronRP]

Feels like I busted my knees when I dove for cover, but fortunately I only have skinned knees.  Nothing got broken.

[TronRP]

Feeling a lot more accomplished than yesterday.  Just finished getting all of the collected garbage, recycling, and bulk times to the curb for pickup, alone with the hedge trimmings I just completed around 3am from Trene's front yard.  It felt great working at night, no need for sunscreen. 😄

[TronRP]

Feeling upset that I wasn't aware of @Moe Falcon being in need of assistance.  We could have stopped by her place on the way back from the restaurant, but I just saw her message after I got in from nighttime property maintenance.  She fell 7 hours ago and no one was there for her.  My heart hurt reading that post. 

[NocteSpiritus]

Tired and debating if I wanna go in and work the few hours (for cleaning). I should since it's hours paid.

[TronRP]

It's hard to feel productive with injured knees.  There is so much I want to do, but I really have to pick and choose what to do and even just cleaning up a little area takes a lot of effort.  I figure I'll just have to keep plugging away at everything little by little. 

[TronRP]

I know I'm only feeling disgruntled because I like to surprise people with stuff when they go away for awhile and can come back to something special.  I'll just have to pass on it this time around. 😕

[TronRP]

I am shocked and amazed at my progress today.  I got all the grasses cut regardless of the fact that the belt to the 4WD pulley system needs replacing.  Then I did a full security check for all the properties.  And finished up with taking care of all the fur babies and making sure they were all settled in for the night.  Now I'm getting ready for Toonami. 

[TronRP]

1 minute ago, TronRP said:

I am shocked and amazed at my progress today.  I got all the grasses cut regardless of the fact that the belt to the 4WD pulley system needs replacing.  Then I did a full security check for all the properties.  And finished up with taking care of all the fur babies and making sure they were all settled in for the night.  Now I'm getting ready for Toonami. 

~~~~~

And I don't feel exhausted.  yay

[TronRP]

Honestly, I felt like I was about to be jumped by all the lookie-loos accumulating across the street, yesterday, to watch me cut grass.  Ever since Stoned Dude and his buddy Stagger Lee (I nicknamed them that because they were 2 sheets to the moon trying to ask to rent and or "borrow" for money...my lawnmower last Saturday).  The guys started showing up after I had finished cutting all the backs and had made it around to Trene's front yard.

It started with one guy who drove up, parked and sat out on the front steps.  Then another that walked from around the corner.  Then another that stepped out of the house.  Then one more who drove up and dropped off some people (who went into the house).  By the time I gassed up and had cut down to my neighbor's yard, there were now 4 grown men sitting and standing on that front porch watching me and talking about going to the store for drinks.

After another vehicle arrived and the other guy got back from the store, there were now 6 grown men watching me cut grass for the next 45 minutes.  It felt nerve wrecking because I didn't know if they were trying to get up some liquid courage to come ask me for my lawnmower again or if it were about to be a smash and grab...

 

now the power is going out....great...

Edited May 19, 2019 by TronRP

[NocteSpiritus]

I should be checking on rent prices on apartments/homes around me not listed on zillow. With what's going on with the father, I have a feeling that I might be moving from the current location within a year or so.

[TronRP]

Feeling happy that the system is back up.