Ask The DGN Genie

[SpidersMoment]

Dear DGN Genie

How do i get the stray cats to stop having kittens around here?

[Paper Hearts]

Dear DGN Genie

How do i get the stray cats to stop having kittens around here?

"Stop dressing your kittens in lingerie and Brian Setzer will leave them alone."

[jadnifer]

oh good DGN Genie: when will I have some real fun?

[Paper Hearts]

oh good DGN Genie: when will I have some real fun?

"You gotta get to the party store first thing in the morning and stand in line to wait for the place to open it's doors--first thing in the morning is when malt-liquor, which has been waiting in the refridgerator all night, is at it's coldest temperature. And you'll never have more fun than a bottle of Colt45 at 7am."

[BrassFusion]

That's on my to-do list now.

Dear DGN Genie:

What's the best time of day to smoke heroic amounts of weed? Would it be in the morning, in tandem with the Colt 45, or at either of the much heralded 4:20s?

[jadnifer]

dear DGN genie: Who was the person to look at a cow and say: "Lets drink whatever comes out of these dangly things?" Ive just always wondered.

[phee]

dear DGN genie: Who was the person to look at a cow and say: "Lets drink whatever comes out of these dangly things?" Ive just always wondered.

Remember that one guy who insisted he was your uncle Rick?

[jadnifer]

Oh good gosh....it was HIM???

[phee]

Oh good gosh....it was HIM???

*Sigh* sorry to be the one to tell you....

[jadnifer]

Whatever will I do with this current piece of information?

[phee]

Whatever will I do with this current piece of information?

Go Krogering

[jadnifer]

Why not Walmart?

[Rayne]

Oh great and powerful DGN Genie ...

Why can't I go out on Saturday?

[phee]

Oh great and powerful DGN Genie ...

Why can't I go out on Saturday?

You can... there needs to be a plan

[Brenda Starrr]

Oh great and powerful Genie......

I just got awesome new shoes. But, when I walk in them, they make fart noises. Will I still be cute, despite that sound?

[Paper Hearts]

Oh great and powerful Genie......

I just got awesome new shoes. But, when I walk in them, they make fart noises. Will I still be cute, despite that sound?

"Dear Brenda Starrr,

When I was a young boy I counldn't never afford no shoes fer my feet at all, and my mama always used to remind me: "I was sad that I didn't have no shoes, 'till I met the man who didn't have no socks". -Just like the Bible says. Also, the sounds you hear are actually your soul being sucked out of you through your ass. -Just the way the Lord intended."

Edited September 13, 2006 by Paper Hearts

[Brenda Starrr]

Good to know.

[Paper Hearts]

Good to know.

"Pass me the Potato Skins, babe."

Edited September 13, 2006 by Paper Hearts

[RosyBlue]

Dear DGN Genie,

Why can't I sleep?

[Paper Hearts]

Dear DGN Genie,

Why can't I sleep?

"Silly Bahraini girl, you can't sleep because of James Cagney, baby, James Cagney. And I realize that you're not Bahraini yet, but you will be. The Genie knows everything"

**puff of smoke, the genie exits from stage left**

Edited September 16, 2006 by Paper Hearts

[Gothmama25]

Dear DGN Genie,

Why am I so wide awake this late at night?

[truegothprincess]

Oh wise and powerful DGN genie,

Whatever shall I do this weekend to keep from being bored?

[phee]

Dear DGN Genie,

Why am I so wide awake this late at night?

Sorry what? I was sleeping...

[phee]

Oh wise and powerful DGN genie,

Whatever shall I do this weekend to keep from being bored?

There is an old proverb that addresses this very question Miss TGP... neat huh?

[Gothmama25]

Oh great DGN genie,

Will I have fun tonight at CC?