related to the "can you tell" poll

[torn asunder]

how do you handle being "hit with a brick" (told you are liked) if it's not reciprocal/you're not interested?

[paradox]

be as nice as you can?

[Moonlight_Phantasy]

Hmmm..........*ponders*

[paradox]

having been married for the last 6 1/2 years, and being with that person anothe 1 1/2 - 2 years before that, ive always had the im married/taken to fall back on. i dont know what the hell id say now... :erm :fear

[Onyx]

For myself, I say I'm not available and leave it at that, (my heart is an open wound and I'm not interested in seeing anyone at all - just the thought makes me feel ill).

It's hard to know what to say if you are actually available, but not interested in that person. I'll be watching this thread with interest.

[Brenda Starrr]

I'd be nice and ask them if they wanted to join in on a threesome,

[Marblez]

hmm ... thank you?

[bean]

Usually, when a crush is revealed, it's someone I wouldn't mind being with (just lucky I guess, or I'm just slutty?). But the few rare times I wasn't iterested, I would tell them thanks, that it's very sweet that they like me, but I'm really not looking to date at the moment. It's better than telling the person you don't like them, I think, and I don't like hurting people's feelings. Sometimes, if I KNOW for sure the person can handle it, I will tell them I'm not interested.

[EvilEve]

telling someone that you don't see them as anything more than just a friend can sometimes work... i guess there is no easy way to tell someone that you're not interested without them feeling like their life sucks now because they revealed their little secret.

i've been on both ends with this one. at least being told that they don't like you is better than them leading you on, only to find out that they really aren't interested, and they presue someone else right in front of you. (i wanted to take a brick to his head for doing that!!)

the next question that comes to mind is; how do you tell someone that you're not interested, and you know for a fact that the person you're telling is a closet stalker?

boy, that wasn't fun to do. after telling this particular person that i can only be friends with them, and then after that, having to tell them to not com around me as much (bad experience with this person), they leave quietly... too quietly. next thing i know, i'm hearing scratching at my window while i'm sleeping, tapping, noises, etc.

luckily i've moved far enough away from that particular person so they don't know where i'm at now.

that's my story, and i'm sticking to it.

[JaneDead]

For myself, I say I'm not available and leave it at that, (my heart is an open wound and I'm not interested in seeing anyone at all - just the thought makes me feel ill).

It's hard to know what to say if you are actually available, but not interested in that person.  I'll be watching this thread with interest.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i think that is the best "i'm not available" leaves it open to mean a lot of things, and you don't have to explain what it really is.

just telling someone you are taken or with someone or married doesn't always seem to matter to them. i've told people (long time ago of course) "i have a boyfriend" and the reply i got back was "i don't care" another time was "well, is he here tonight?" and yet another was "so, i have a girlfriend". yeah people don't seem to care that you are even with someone else when you shoot them down.

i've had to tell people that i was not interested in them *like that* and that is always hard. sometimes they just don't get it. i think they assume you must feel the same way they do and when you tell them you don't they are shocked/confused. a couple guys i know were even almost mad. but being honest and doing so right from the start, is your best bet no matter what the outcome will be.

[Kit Kat P]

thaks but no thanks

[Scary Guy]

"A friend is someone with some unforgivable flaw that makes him/her unfuckable"

Most people hate the phraze "lets just be friends" I know I do. I hate saying it myself as well because it turns me into one of "them".

Just tell them maybe if things were different.

Different in the way of pigs flew and monkeys came out of your ass.

[Homicidalheathen]

I usually just say....'I am not interested....sorry, your not my type....I am married.....I don't feel well'.....then I start getting violent.

[the eternal]

I'd be nice and ask them if they wanted to join in on a threesome,

Easy for you to say, being half way across the country.

Oh, and BTW, I never even got an invitation .

Me, I usually lie to myself and make believe I do like them so we can get involved in a highly dysfunctional relationship.

That didn't help much, did it?

[Scary Guy]

Me, I usually lie to myself and make believe I do like them so we can get involved in a highly dysfunctional relationship. 

That didn't help much, did it?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL, I've thought about that myself, dating people when I know it just wouldn't work out at all just to fill this lonely void.

Sometimes being alone has its upside though.