My Dear is This Your Heart?

[Amerist]

This is a slight diversion form my usual tales. That is because I am once again tripping back to when I used Cat as a character to describe my life, but … instead fantastic. One of my best friends was a werewolf, a potential lover, a Vampire, and so forth. These stories are a way for me to try to come to terms with some of the things that happen in my life and to give insight into the way that I think and feel.

My Dear, Is This Your Heart?

To begin this tale we bring ourselves to a vast city. A gruesome metal and concrete blight upon the Sonoran desert, home to so many as one point three million people. All but one who wondered if he could call anywhere his home anymore, an orphan child of time, and estranged resident of Phoenix, Arizona. He was known as Artemis, and Artemis alone. He had forsaken any concept of family or surname in the centuries of his life.

Artemis had seen two World Wars, and myriad of smaller ones peppering the grand tapestry of human strife. Once. Yes, once: a strange word to the ears of one who’d seen so much, been through so many experiences, once Artemis wouldn’t have assumed that misery and stupidity were a normal everyday staple of the very existence of humanity. But as all things go, that once was so long ago that even he had forgotten it. To him the ravages of time were something as unstoppable and certain as the sorrows that attachment brought. It was better to expect these silly creatures to burn themselves out in a delicate frenzy of decadence like moths smashing themselves and one another into a bonfire, than to actually care.

Though, still, there was that once.

In that once, Artemis loved. He saw flowers, brilliance in the doe grey eyes of a girl. A twinkling soul with luminous blonde hair and a volume of goodness about her. Though not recently turned a vampire, and already a cynic by nature, Artemis was turned inside out by this girl. This child of his heart—though she were an adult lady in her own merit; compared to him all of humanity were children—twisted him up inside every time she was near. There was something different about her, something special. He loved her.

There was a strange innocence about this child that he could not bear to miss. A century of life had not been lost upon him and he was no fool when it came to wooing a woman. Confounding and befuddling her other suitors was child’s play for him, and seducing her barely the challenge it would have been in his former life. Still, she was a prize beyond compare and the hunt was far less a joy than having her as a companion.

It was an epiphany of beauty. For a time. For once. Artemis had felt as if he were human again. She brought to him the light that he had been missing for over a hundred years.

But it was only a moment.

Like all things that have a beginning, there must be an end—far all things but Artemis.

And like all of humanity. She possessed the temporary fragility that they all did, and soon that moment faded away, slipping through his fingers like sand in the wind. Time had claimed his humanity, and Artemis pledged never to allow himself to fall again.

Once.

A funny thing about once. Is that it suggests that it only happens one time. Never to be seen again. Once. An event without peer, without anything to ever be the same again, only echoes of memory and old tears about the past.

A funny thing about that once. Artemis found it happening again…

* * *

Cat lackadaisically stirred a glass rod in her hot chocolate, watching the bubbles swirl around, and the steam rise lazily to curl tenderly around her fingers. The air was cold in the Arizona night and the lights from The Coffee Plantation where dim and swampy here in the back, not bright enough to bother her sensitive eyes, which was why she brought herself here when she needed to sit down—which was more and more often nowadays.

It was while she was enjoying the wispy motion of the steam that she noticed Artemis’ eyes gazing at her. She looked up slowly, and became absorbed into his sea-blue gaze for a long moment.

“Artemis?” she asked softly.

Artemis blinked suddenly and backed away slightly as if startled. Then he bowed his head and set his hands in his lap, “My Lady…”

His voice trailed off and Cat tilted her head slightly. “What were you thinking about, Artemis?”

“Nothing of any consequence, my Lady Kitten,” he said. “A time long, long past and forgotten to the ages of men, ours is the here and now, and I would bide myself best if I were to be here more often.”

Cat quirked a smile and her eyes flickered away from Artemis’ pale face for a moment. She sighed and spent the moment covering her feelings by sipping on her hot chocolate, but when she lowered her glass she knew from Artemis’ expression that she had fooled no one.

“And now that we’re on the subject of thoughts,” her gorgeous companion began to say, but Cat already knew where he was going. She didn’t feel like stopping him though, “whereabouts was your lovely mind taking you in that moment I just watched pass over your beautiful face?”

Cat let a pregnant silence settle over the discussion for a moment and licked the chocolate from her lips as she collected her thoughts. Artemis was kind enough to remain quiet himself, and patiently awaited her reply.

She slid her hand out into the center of the table and turned her wrist slightly; the wrist that bore his golden ribbon. It caught the lights from inside the building in its iridescence and glimmered softly as she moved it.

“I have a crush on someone,” she said slowly, choosing her words as she went. As she spoke she kept a careful eye on Artemis’ expression. She was fully and completely aware of his feelings for her, but she was not going to spare him if he so chose to press her about her thoughts; nonetheless, he found it amusing to watch her in her vulnerabilities and sensitivities she thought.

“Ah yes,” he said, sitting back. “The lad—”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head, “this one is a girl.”

“Truly?” Artemis feigned surprise, badly. “Who is this likely lass…perhaps I should seduce her before you ply her hand, that I should have you all to myself.”

Cat snorted and rolled her eyes.

“I was asked the other day by someone why I’m not with anyone…” Cat said suddenly, caressing the ribbon on her wrist. “I said that I suppose it’s because I’m too picky and too shy…but I also realize there is more to that.”

Artemis was beginning to shake his head but Cat held up a hand to quiet him.

“I’m sick,” she said. “I’m very sick. You know…well, of course you know. You’ve been with me when I’ve gone to the hospital. Now, I know that I act like it’s nothing, like it’s something that I can handle…but…how long can I handle this?

“And, worse, what about the people that love me—or may love me?”

Cat sighed and touched her forehead with a hand.

“What will they have to go through when I finally start getting far more ill than I already am? I know that I’ve lost one person at least because of my illness, which is something I cannot change, and what about the others? What about people who are prospectively lovers? Who would be willing to keep me when they know that they’ll lose me?”

Tears already forming in her eyes began to drip down her cheeks. One fell into her hot chocolate with a soft blip noise.

“Kitten,” Artemis said softly, “Stop. Look…look up at me. Let me see your eyes.”

Cat slowly lifted her head and looked at Artemis.

“No,” she shook her head trying to look away again. “You see? I see myself living my life between loves, never having someone who will take me and keep me, never having someone who is going to keep me for who I am and what I’m like; only a long parade of affairs until the day that I die—as soon as that is in whatever lifetime I am granted. I ask myself if I can live with that.

“But really, I wonder if I can live without it.”

“Even I could not live without the hope of love,” Artemis replied.

Finally, Cat was looking at him. She could see her own brown eyes reflected in his blue.

“Have you ever been in love, Artemis?” The question struck her as odd; even though she asked it. The thought seemed somehow alien to her that the cool, collected, ancient before her could have experienced something so hot and fiery.

A strange emotion crossed his face just then, slipping across his face like an ethereal shadow brushing the leaves of a tree, but it faded before Cat could completely take its measure. Almost as quickly as it changed, his expression returned to the cool, savoir faire air that it usually held.

“Oh, once,” he said finally, but it didn’t sound like he intended to go into any detail.

Cat decided not to press him. “Why do I feel like I’m condemned to finally see the end of my life having loved a thousand people but never being kept by one?”

“Oh, Kitten, my dearest heart,” Artemis said calmly, reaching out to take her hand. His fingers against her skin felt like satin. “There are those who have lived their entire lives to be kept by many but have never, even once, loved.”

Cat started to say something but a flicker in the corner of her eye caught her attention and she noticed the time. Suddenly, all of her thoughts evaporated—

“Oh no! I’m about to be late!”

Artemis looked up, surprised. “What? Late for what?”

“Club,” Cat said suddenly trying to collect her things. “I’m going out to the club tonight and hopefully I’ll see this girl I was starting to talk about.”

“Ah.” Artemis almost sounded disappointed, but he flashed a smile so bright that it could have lit several city blocks to cover it a moment later. “Do have fun, my dearest—and you know, if it doesn’t work out…you know where to find me.”

Cat had finished collecting her things and smiled at Artemis happily. Leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“I hope that it doesn’t come to that.”

“And if it goes well,” Artemis admonished with a grin. “Divest yourself of the ribbon as you will not need it any longer.”

“Sure hon,” Cat was saying, almost absently, as she stepped away from the table and whisked herself off into the night.

* * *

Artemis watched her flee, stiff and solid as a statute made of stone next to her warm swiftness like a summer wind. Cat was a gentle breeze who had blown into his dreary life and with her she brought all the colors of autumn, but none of its sting. To him, she was like rain to a parched forest; a tiny thunderstorm of emotion, brightly colored leaves, and a forgotten innocence that he thought he’d never see the likes of again.

He rose up from his seat and walked away from the establishment without a look back. Cat had left her cup of hot chocolate behind in her hast, but Artemis didn’t care; the people who worked there could clean it easily. He himself had nothing to drink. This was certainly not his usually faire.

Phoenix and the surrounding cities were his. They had been his for the past twenty years and he knew them well. He decided that instead of returning to his usual stay, a mansion on near the edge of the artificial lake, to avail himself of his newest property: a small penthouse atop the Brick Yard. The location was far closer, and he had already suggested that he could be found there to Cat.

On the way up the elevator, Artemis started pondering.

“Oh, my dear Cat,” he said softly to no one. “What am I to do with you?”

The elevator bonged quietly with the next floor as if replying to his question.

“You are such a treasure, but I know that you’ll never see it—at least, not in your lifetime. The life that it is…but what should I say to you? I love you? Would you believe me…or perchance you already know.

“Yes, yes, I think you already know.”

Artemis chuckled to himself as the elevator clanged its last and the doors swished open before him. This was his domain.

He stepped out regally into the vast penthouse that he owned. The soft trickle of water from a tiny fountain echoed between the bare walls and from the well polished grey and white tile floor as she trod out into the center of the room.

It was a vast apartment, and he had little to put in it. He had simply bought this place to put himself closer to where Cat lived, and as a result, more in the center of the things that revolved around her life. As strange and demure as the elven girl was, she had this odd ability to get herself twisted and tangled up in the most dark and devious moving of the supernatural community without even being aware of it. Sometimes Artemis was amazed that she had survived so long with how close she got to some extremely powerful players and underhanded dealings.

Then again, knowing her now, Artemis was not at all surprised.

“Surely she jests,” he said aloud, comfortable and relaxed in his small kingdom. “When she thinks that she has no one who would keep her…I would. Surely she knows that.”

His thoughts drifted to the golden ribbon he had presented her some months ago when he had found her in tears pressed up against the back wall of the Nile. It was not the first time that he had seen her, nor the first time he had spoken to her, but truly it was the first time he made her aware of his feelings. He was certain she’d always known that he favored her, but he doubted she understood how much until that moment.

“Yes, perhaps your life is much shorter than most mortals, my Princess, but like any star that lives half as long you truly burn twice as bright. For all of my years as an immortal I have not experienced as much as you seem to in a single moment. Every one of your breaths has been precious to me, as precious as…more precious, perhaps, than my own waking blood. Still—still, still… I wonder at myself.”

Alexander paused in front of a tall, narrow mirror and took account of his eloquent but winsome features, blue eyes and blonde hair. In another time he would have thought himself handsome, but now he was trying to see beyond that.

“Was it wise of me to present you with the Gift? That same curse that has stolen the sun from my eyes?

“Cat is the most precious treasure I have ever seen, and unlike Lydia I do not want to see you fade into oblivion and vanish from my eyes forever. Not again. Never again…”

Artemis sighed at his reflection in the mirror.

“But, I doubt myself. Is it in your intended nature that all beautiful things must pass from this world? That they must be fleeting like fireworks or flowers burst in the spring only to fade with the coming of autumn and winter? If I were to possess you of immortality, to preserve your beauty for all time would I be doing you a favor, or just me and my own selfish wants?

“And worse… I realize this now, thinking of your sorrows at being turned out by every lover who only sees you as a moment’s glimmer in their eyes but does not want to keep you by their sides because they may lose you to death’s grip… What if that very spark of vitality that exists within you will snuff from your body should I grant you the cold solace of my gift?”

Artemis knew that the night was still young and he realized that Cat would probably be swept by her new infatuation and not seek him, so he went about his newest routine of choosing what to wear and a place to go. Always a slow measure, as he had many things that he could dress with. Having spent several centuries refining his style tended to leave some spectacular room for improvising between different tastes.

The entire endeavor from start to finish took him perhaps an hour, he could not tell, nor did he care. Only the rising of the sun would temper his night’s end.

No. Not a prize to be won, Artemis was thinking to himself as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. Cat is more important than that. She is more important than time itself, and perhaps even eternity.

He realized that if she became an immortal like him, her beauty might stagnate and vanish into the fogs of the past and not be preserved. Centuries could turn the most naïve into terrible monsters; twist them into things they would have never considered themselves being during their mortal lives. Still, it was his gift to offer, and hers to choose to accept or decline.

Artemis could only hope that Cat had the wisdom to make the choice that was proper for her.

He surely could not have guessed.

As he stepped into the elevator and the doors slipped together he could have sworn that he heard the ring of the front bell, but no matter, he was headed down anyway. If anyone truly wanted him they would have to find him downstairs.

The trip down this time seemed much swifter than the trip up.

The ending of the trip, however, was somewhat unexpected.

As when the elevators doors opened into the cold, empty lobby. A single figure stood waiting for him. Forlorn and wistful, Cat smiled slightly when the light from the elevator gushed out and surrounded her like a heavenly glow. Her expression changed to something that seemed to be trapped between a desire to do mischief or simply be crestfallen.

Silently, Artemis walked up to her and offered her his elbow, she smoothly looped her arm around his and he drew her through the doorway outside.

“I take it that things did not go as planned?” he asked, almost already knowing the answer; for the ribbon was still about her wrist.

She placed her head on his shoulder. “One could say that I was stood up.”

“Well then,” Artemis said, with a twinkle in his voice, “Let’s make something better of the night then, shall we?”

“Yes, we shall.”