Break up

[BlackHound]

What was you hardist break up you ever had and why?

[bean]

The one I am going through right now. We are seperated, but the husband will not leave my house. He will not sign divorce papers. We don't talk to each other unless it is to scream about something, so we go days without saying a word to one another. I avoid being home and stay awake when he sleeps and sleep when he is awake. I am done with our marriage and want it to be over. I want to move on and want nothing to do with him. In past relationships they were always clean breaks.

[ManicQueen]

The one I am going through right now.  We are seperated, but the husband will not leave my house.  He will not sign divorce papers.  We don't talk to each other unless it is to scream about something, so we go days without saying a word to one another.  I avoid being home and stay awake when he sleeps and sleep when he is awake.  I am done with our marriage and want it to be over.  I want to move on and want nothing to do with him.  In past relationships they were always clean breaks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How horrible, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

[Wounds Within]

The one I am going through right now.  We are seperated, but the husband will not leave my house.  He will not sign divorce papers.  We don't talk to each other unless it is to scream about something, so we go days without saying a word to one another.  I avoid being home and stay awake when he sleeps and sleep when he is awake.  I am done with our marriage and want it to be over.  I want to move on and want nothing to do with him.  In past relationships they were always clean breaks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I actually know a few other people going through the very same situation as you currently are. It is really a terrible situation and I am sorry to hear this.

[Homicidalheathen]

Gosh, I am sorry.........it will be over one day though. My freind just went through this......it took him 41 percent of everything she owned and half her furniture, half of her 401K (she has to work until she is 70 now) but she is free. He would not leave either....took a year to get rid of him.

Oh and my other freind went through this too.....he waited along time to sign I guess, thinking she would change her mind. When she moved out and started dating.....he got the hint.

It took them 2 years to get divorced. I so feel for you now after seeing this. But it will be over someday.......praying for you.

Oh and she invoked woman power goddesses and fairness goddesses at the divorce proceedings......she swears it worked. She did get 59 percent........even though he never worked I guess that is good under MI laws.

The one I am going through right now.  We are seperated, but the husband will not leave my house.  He will not sign divorce papers.  We don't talk to each other unless it is to scream about something, so we go days without saying a word to one another.  I avoid being home and stay awake when he sleeps and sleep when he is awake.  I am done with our marriage and want it to be over.  I want to move on and want nothing to do with him.  In past relationships they were always clean breaks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Homicidalheathen]

My hardest was probably the first. You know, like the song.....the first cut is the deepest. And it taught me that people only care as far as it suites their needs.....so I was more preparred the next time.

[Rayne]

The one I am going through right now.  We are seperated, but the husband will not leave my house.  He will not sign divorce papers.  We don't talk to each other unless it is to scream about something, so we go days without saying a word to one another.  I avoid being home and stay awake when he sleeps and sleep when he is awake.  I am done with our marriage and want it to be over.  I want to move on and want nothing to do with him.  In past relationships they were always clean breaks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know exactly how you feel Bean!! *hugs*

[Fierce Critter]

All these people with spouses who won't leave the nest need to trade homes. :laughing

Honestly, though, I can't imagine living in a situation like that. Gads.

[kellygrrrrrl]

the last one...we dated like 5 years, then all of a sudden he became distant, and seretive.....he then broke up w/ me, but I later...years later...about a few months ago, found out that he had been cheating ona nd off almost the whole time.

I DID cheat on him once...kissed a boy, but I then told him about it. Do you know how tortured over that he made me feel...all that time afterwards? He agree'd to forgive me, we dated even 3 -4 years after that....but would bring that up all the time....But on the other hand he had been cheating himself the whole time........coincidentally, we are friends now, I even stood up in his wedding......but to find out years later after all the grief he had put me through over me kissing a boy, when he was out fucking sluts?...that really kind of pissed me off, and brought back some bad memories.

[saechalyn]

Damn, Kelly, and you were in his wedding??? You're a better woman than me.

[Rayne]

All these people with spouses who won't leave the nest need to trade homes. :laughing

Honestly, though, I can't imagine living in a situation like that. Gads.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It sucks ... it really, really sucks ... however, I've found a few good points in my situation that I have helped me learn to cope.

[Hellion]

:devil The last major breakup was 6 years ago because of being layed off and money became the issue, but whatever I've gotten over it. I pretty much predicted my future Single for life, friendship forever and thats it!

[Falstaff]

The last one that REALLY bothered me was very recently, but it's strange...I find the more I care about someone, the EASIER it is to go through the break up. I don't quite understand it...

[bean]

Thanks everyone. Luckily, he can't touch my house because it's in my mothers and my name and was inherited through my grandmother, and I guess in a divorce, the spouse can't touch something that was inherited. The only other things that I have of value are my car, computer, and dvd/surround sound system. He says hes taking my cat when he leaves, even though he has never taken care of her (fed her or cleaned littler box, taken her to the vet, etc). He just wants to hurt me. All he brought of value into our relationship was his p.o.s. car. Infact, when I met him, I had a good amount of money in the bank, but after he moved in, I started going into debt. I'm waiting for the day when he happends to be gone when I am home because I will be changing the locks!

[Saephyr]

Thanks everyone.  Luckily, he can't touch my house because it's in my mothers and my name and was inherited through my grandmother, and I guess in a divorce, the spouse can't touch something that was inherited.  The only other things that I have of value are my car, computer, and dvd/surround sound system.  He says hes taking my cat when he leaves, even though he has never taken care of her (fed her or cleaned littler box, taken her to the vet, etc).  He just wants to hurt me.  All he brought of value into our relationship was his p.o.s. car.  Infact, when I met him, I had a good amount of money in the bank, but after he moved in, I started going into debt.  I'm waiting for the day when he happends to be gone when I am home because I will be changing the locks!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I GOT THE TOOLS BABY!

[Saephyr]

Break ups just plain rape your heart & mind no doubt.

When I was married, we lost his 2nd born to a disease, then I got sicker & sicker and I couldn't even get him to drop me off at a hospital, much less stay and comfort me.

He was my closest friend, lover, gave me the only kids I'll ever have, and the big shit part is that we love each other so very much still. He's comes to family holiday things and brings his mother whom I adore. So once again my health steals my partner away.

Guess it was better than being dumped for a damned religeon war like this recent one :confused

[bean]

Break ups just plain rape your heart & mind no doubt.

When I was married, we lost his 2nd born to a disease, then I got sicker & sicker and I couldn't even get him to drop me off at a hospital, much less stay and comfort me.

  He was my closest friend, lover, gave me the only kids I'll ever have, and the big shit part is that we love each other so very much still. He's comes to family holiday things and brings his mother whom I adore. So once again my health steals my partner away.

  Guess it was better than being dumped for a damned religeon war like this recent one :confused

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:tear

[bean]

I GOT THE TOOLS BABY!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Want to come over and do some home repairs? :woot:

[SanctumNocturna]

Over the past two years I went through two very difficult breakups in relationships that lasted a significant amount of time.

I haven't talked about them much, mainly because these are the types of things I've tried to put out of my mind. I'm the type of person that's intensely analytical, and I will mull these things until the point where they have absolutely been picked at from every possible direction. That's not saying it wasn't done in some regard after the events happened...but believe me, even now, I still want to think about it...

The reality was, they were two very difficult situations...and the moral of the story is that the two weren't what they claimed to be. This isn't such an uncommon thing, and typically I'm a relatively decent judge of character (which is not to say I can't be fooled).

The most recent relationship had been on and off for well over a year, but for the entire time I had strong feelings for her. She was a good person it seemed, the type that would go out of her way to do things for anyone. However, she was often of the "martyr" archetype...where everything in her life was so tremendously difficult, and that even when I was distracted with events this past year that were truly more earth-shattering and destructive than hers, I was expected to turn around and be the shoulder for the day to day. And I did so, without question, because in the end...that's the type of person that I am. Regardless of the stress that can cause, it's important for me to have faith in my life...and important to be devoted to the things that I believe in... This was an important area that was, and often times still is lacking in my life. The relationship had gone on so long, with so much exploration that I never would have thought that it would turn the way it did.

She hid her interest in someone else for well over a month, spending time with me while leaving out the details of her true plans. Long story short, everything over the course of three months had been a lie...she was ready to move on, but would always tell me to my face that she wanted more...that she wanted more time with me, more closeness, more...everything. That wasn't the case.

There's nothing I could have said or done to change it.

Loneliness is a hard pill to swallow for anyone, and for me it's no different. I just keep my head up and know that it can't get much worse than the places I've been before...there's things that could happen, but I don't believe it will be as consistent heading into the immediate future...

And in the end: I was good to her.