Critter's Bagel Rant

[Fierce Critter]

After a few days of sense-percepting the yumminess of what a "French toast bagel" must taste like, I went and got one today.

What the....? It didn't taste "French toasty" at all. Just tasted like a plain, ole cinnamon raisin bagel.

I'm so disappointed. If I wasn't already depressed, I'd have to get downright emo on ya'll.

Got to wonder if Brenda has some kind of scheme going with the French now. This has "Brenda/French" conspiracy written all over it. Sur le pont d'Avignon? Non?

I thought as much.

[CandyQuackenbush]

Hrm. It DOES belong here. In it's own weird way. If Brenda and France are not getting along, then yes, it is domestic.

*shivers*

[Brenda Starrr]

You may not know this, but I don't like french people. However, that bagel is very yummy to me. I'm sorry that your experience with the french toast bagel was not good, FC. It breaks my heart to know that you don't share a love of this bagel with me. Maybe you should try some syrup with it.

[pharoh]

You may not know this, but I don't like french people. However, that bagel is very yummy to me. I'm sorry that your experience with the french toast bagel was not good, FC. It breaks my heart to know that you don't share a love of this bagel with me. Maybe you should try some syrup with it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well thank god I'm german, you can luvs me all you want

[pharoh]

Better yet, just call them freedom bagels

[DarkChylde]

Gee thats some fucking bullshit. BULLFUCKINGSHIT!!!! If I were you I take that bagel back, throw it at the registers head and tell him/her ta get you a better bagel.....FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!

Lol j/k

[bean]

*giggles* freedom bagels....

[ManicQueen]

I love the Frech Toast bagel and the Cinnimon Crunch bagel.. yum yum!

[Brenda Starrr]

I would never eat a bagel with raisins in it. I hate raisins.

[Homicidalheathen]

I have no idea what a toasted French anything tastes like but we could send Mark to a tan booth to find out.

[Aralis]

I like those everything bagels. Some brands though are much better than others. I like mine to have an onion/garlic taste.

[Onyx]

You have to get it from Panara Bread. Theirs are super good.

[Head Wreck]

i'll stick to actual french toast.

messy to eat walking down the street but oh so filling

[Aralis]

There are no Panara stores around me. :confused

[Fierce Critter]

I would never eat a bagel with raisins in it. I hate raisins.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hmm... it appears, then, the conspiracy may be on the part of Panera. For now - the French and Brenda are off the hook. For now.

My "French toast bagel" had raisins in it. DEFINITELY.

It appears that in my quest for a French Toast Bagel, I was duped into eating a plain, ole Cinnamon Raisin bagel instead.

Somebody dies.

[Brenda Starrr]

They totally effed up. I'd sue the fudge out of them.

[Fierce Critter]

They totally effed up. I'd sue the fudge out of them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is an offense calling for much more than monetary recompense.

I'm thinking more along the lines of ballistics.

I shall have my day. Oh yes. I shall.

[Zoe Means Death]

I would feel extreemly disapointed if something my taste buds were anticipating as "French Toast" turned out to be "Cinnamon Raison", which is an extreemly different taste.

[Zoe Means Death]

I would never eat a bagel with raisins in it. I hate raisins.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So does Garfield!

[Fierce Critter]

The plot thickens.

I stopped by a different Panera today. Gave the so-called "French Toast" bagels a good, long look while waiting to get up to the counter. They sure as hell looked like what I got the other day.

I approach the sales girl. "Can I help you?"

"Here's the thing," I say, "somebody told me about your French Toast bagels. And I got one the other day. But it tasted like a cinnamon raisin bagel to me."

Salesgirl: "Maybe they gave you the wrong thing. Here..." and she ran a suspect "French Toast" bagel through the slicer for sample slices, and gave me some. I tried it.

"This just does not taste anything like French Toast to me. Thanks anyway." And I left with the remains of my sample in hand.

In the truck, I examined said sample. What I thought were raisins were little clumps of a sorta wet cinnamon paste. They were sweet enough to taste just like raisins.

I'm now going back to my former suspicions that Brenda and Panera Bread and the French are all in league together to dupe me into some kind of psychosis, making me crave something that exists only in my mind.

I won't let you do it. I won't. I'm stronger than all of you. Damnit.

[Brenda Starrr]

I am SO not french. If I WERE french, I'd go so far as to capitalize the "f" in "french."

[Brenda Starrr]

Oh yeah. And I hate french manicures.

[Onyx]

The plot thickens.

I'm now going back to my former suspicions that Brenda and Panera Bread and the French are all in league together to dupe me into some kind of psychosis, making me crave something that exists only in my mind.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OMG. I think I just woke up half the neighborhood. haaa!

Glad I didn't have a mouthful of water when I read that.

[Brenda Starrr]

She's just jealous because her taste buds are off. Or something like that.

[Fierce Critter]

Pardonez-moi? My taste buds are JUST FINE, thank you very much.

But from now on, if I want something that tastes like French toast, I'm going to make French toast.

<--- runs off to listen to Heywood Banks' "Toast"