Botsford Hospital

[wheresmypiggy]

Most of the time when you hear about someone having a hospital experience they tell you how bad it was.

I went to St. Marys last year for kidney failure. They all but took me out back and shot me.

This time was different.

I miscarried on 3/11/06

I kept feeling very sickly. I went to work that monday. Didn't even make it through the day. I kept falling asleep which was odd for me.

The next day I didnt even attempt work. Wednesday I tried again but don't even remember being there. Thursday night was horrible. I couldn't sleep. I kept puking. I had a fever and chills.

Then I realized it.

That pain in my lower back. I finally knew what it was. I had associated it with being pregnant carrying around extra weight. Nope. Kidneys.

My husband rushed me to the hospital at 2:30am Friday morning. (I'm frickin Irish and spent St. Pats day in the hospital)

My heart rate was in the 60's. My temp was 103. I was cold all over. I couldn't stop the vomiting. I was going into kidney failure again.

I was drug tested ( due to my history of drug use and I was unable to speak and answer their questions when I came in). That came up clean. I had no alcohol in my system and hadn't in over a month.

They had no reason for what was happening to me.

They finally figured out my tragic chain of events.

I was pregnant and it seemed to be too much for my body to handle. I miscarried due to a urniary tract infection that spread to a severe kidney infection.

I got pnuemonia while I was in the hospital. They figured this out when my heart rate plummeted on day 3 and my breathing all but stopped. I was on their strongest pain killers and the highest dose. Nothing was helping. 5 days later they release me. No explanation. A couple of tylenol 3's and some penicilin.

The pain is still almost intolerable. The depression and realization that I lost yet another child has set in. My bills are piling up. My birthday is coming up. I just feel so lost and don't know what to do.

I guess if I can't help myself. I will get by with helping others.

I fucked up my life with the drugs and alcohol in the past present and future.

I know it sounds like I'm preaching. But i've lived the life most only have nightmares or read about.

If the drugs and drinking dont kill you the realization that you have wasted your life away will.

I'm not saying quit having fun in life. Just remember your limits. Take the fun in doses. You will eventually realize that the fun of life has nothing to do with going out and partying and hanging out. Its all about respecting yourself.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Hey Jessi sweetie...i am so sorry to hear about the loss of the baby.

If there is anything I can do to help let me know.

Even if it is to go the local party store to pick you up some soda or flavored water....whatever. I'm pretty local during the day...you know that.

Or even just someone to yell at..... Hi!

[JaneDead]

If the drugs and drinking dont kill you the realization that you have wasted your life away will.

I'm not saying quit having fun in life. Just remember your limits. Take the fun in doses. You will eventually realize that the fun of life has nothing to do with going out and partying and hanging out. Its all about respecting yourself.

-good advice. it is good you realized this and cleaned up your life while you were still young and gave a damn! that is good to hear.

but...

i'm sorry to hear that you had another miscarriage. :( i really truly am. no words can make that better but it is good to know you have a good man in your life now and hopefully the rest of your life ahead of you, happy and healthy. or at least healthier.

[bean]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and I hope things get better with you.

[Brenda Starrr]

Aww, Jesi....

I'm sorry for your loss, and so very proud of you as well.