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I feel like Slogo is tearing me apart! Why not suspend hope instead? That way you can come back to it later, just in case you want to have a booty call. You know just a one night stand of hope before you go back to despair. He can only make you do what you let him do. At some point you need to let go of him. You can still feel hopeless and depressed if you want, but to even start on the right path, you need to take the first step: He will no longer be a part of your life.