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I am sorry. Hugs to you. You seem like a kind person. I'm sorry things are so shitty. I'm sorry to all that you have lost. I often wonder why life seems to give us what it does in the order that it does, like, we all get bad things, we all experience loss, but I sometimes wonder why the main control room up there can't like, idk, give us things at a reasonable pace. I know they say that when it rains it pours but..it can't rain forever..ya know?