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I totally understand. We are currently living as participants of a similar situation and we have family who have done the exact same thing to their kids while we were growing up. It is hard on the offspring. I try to stay positive, but I'm just crazy like that, because everyone is their own person and will recall situations according to how they remember them regardless of the true toll it took. After all is said and done and the person in question has finished their "All About Me" show, I always hear the same things, "I did the best I could with what I had" and "You don't know what it was like..." So as hard as it is I try not to be bitter because I think what if I had done the same thing as them, but felt like I did a top notch job because I kept in touch, but then couldn't figure out why people thought of me the way they would be doing. Life is hard and some people feel like they "made a mistake" and decide to start over regardless of the repercussions and still feel they should be welcomed just because they are family. ...sorry if that got I've experienced enough stuff for 2 or 3 lifetimes and the world starts to get a bit monochrome at times.

Yeah okay. I have a strange relationship with my mother. There is a history behind it. She wanted a kid but didn't want to have to do the parenting if you know what I mean. So she sent me off to stay with grandma so she could do her own thing. So now it is like she doesn't really feel like she is my mom so to speak. It is kind of hard to explain. She also likes to party and I was never into that sort of thing. So she only likes to hang out with people who like to party. I am more of a stay home watch Netflix, take care of my kid, and play computer games person. She has a "man friend" that she hangs out with. She never invites me over for holidays cause she is always doing something with her "man friend." She will say to me "Me and Norm are having Thanksgiving together,where are you going for Thanksgiving?" So I just do my own thing. She pops by once in a while, drops off some food item she does not want. Tells me what her and her "man friend" are doing that day then leaves. That's it. It is just the way things are between us and I accepted it. Well thanks for letting me talk that all out.

Believe it or not, but that is her way of keeping in touch. It's kinda like - nudge, nudge just letting you know I know you are still alive and so am I. Unfortunately, the things that are said during those harmless interactions is as Scary Guy said, "One person is always going to care more than the other." Although you have gotten used to using a catchphrase to deal with it, don't lose heart. Make each conversation feel equally important and appear to be separate and stand on it's own. In her head, she is reaching out to you and showing that she cares. To you, it may seem like empty promises never to be fulfilled. During my college years, I had gotten that way with one of my aunts. We would speak on the phone and I knew there was work she wanted me to do for her, but I also knew that my studies wouldn't allow for it. So during our conversations, I would mention those little projects so she would know that I hadn't forgotten about them and the call always ended with some talk of a future visit. I am glad that time did eventually permit me to get back over to see her and do some projects around her house for nowadays, she is very ill and fragile and living on oxygen which is very different from the strong, independent woman I have known my entire life.

Also, don't lose heart. You do have a support system at your disposal. Use generously...

I was just about to suggest the same thing as Scary Guy. When I have issues or concerns with any of my ward's doctors, I go for a second opinion elsewhere, request referrals and, if it comes to it, remove my ward from that physician's care. I refuse to have those in my care treated as a paycheck, but I also don't play with the needs of their well-being. It's a fine line to walk decisionwise, but don't get complacent due to familiarity.