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Not doing well at all but ill do my best to be there this week. Miss you guys.

Hello everyone Well tomorrow marks 5 yrs since I moved to Germany and that was after living about 3 years in southern California. At the moment making plans to visit the USA next year with my husband and in laws as well. They want to see the country. This all depends though on how things go with my grandpa and if my husbandand I have to come round sooner to be there to see him or attend a funeral. He has aggressive leukemia right now. Though if original plans stay in place we would be visiting late summer early autuman in august or september. We plan RVing from New York to LA though making a long stop in Michigan some days to see family and friends. In this case I will be throwing a party weather permitting at Algonac state park because I am not sure the schedule and time to come down to Detroit for club events or what not will be available. Though maybe we can skip off to a club night but would require a ride to and from because wee are not driving a rental RV to Detroit for a club night lol. I would love to see many of you again. I know I did not spend a particularly long time in the scene there before spreading my wings and adventuring off to distant lands but I know it would be nice to visit and see some familar places and faces. DGN is where I first discovered other gruftis like myself and Detroit was the first place I went to and interacted with other goths and dark alternative individuals. t will always hold a special place in my heart! I will keep you all up to date on the plans and stuff. Tschüßie!

I have wonder about the narcissist thing. If that was the case or not. It seems she will help me out if it does not interfere with what she wants to do. If it does there is lots of screaming ( asking her for help with my wedding comes to mind) I had my grand parents and my father who took care of me, and I follow a higher power so I think that is why I grew up without a lot of issues. At this point I am not really seeking to improve our relationship. I simply accept it for what it is. If and when she ever wants to go to Red Lobster that will be fine. If not, well I'm not going to be crying alone in my apartment over it. I have made a life for myself without her being much of a part of it. I'm use to it at this point. Through at times I do become envies of people whom have what I see as a "real mother." All I can do is make sure I be a better mother to my own kid then she was to me.

How the hell aren't you a mod? I think you should be a co-admin at this point damnit. You're here more than anyone and I think you care about the board as much as Troy does if not more.

I'd say come sooner rather than later, or at least skype/(some equivalent video chat software) with your grandpa. I just lost mine recently and funerals suck. Then again I wonder if it would have been better not visiting him because the last image I have is him on the couch too weak to even stay awake. Of course this is doubly true for friends. Spend as much time as you can with those you care about as they might not be here tomorrow. Anyway I look forward to seeing you again and meeting your fam. When it gets closer to your visit and you have a better idea of your schedule let me know and I'll mention all the fun local things that are going on in the scene.