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I just watched a train go by with all kinds of nice graffiti on it and it made me so so nostalgic for my hometown. It also made me wonder what the bridge tunnels murals look like now! Last time I went some new kids had painted over a memorial and I realized just how old I am now! A while new batch of teens who didn't even know the story had something new to say and that was more important than a wiggly figure that was supposed to represent someone who they had never met and would never know the name of. It's bittersweet to think that there could be like whole new stories there now.

Better. Roger didn't yell at me today for having anxiety like he use too. He's becoming more understanding of how to handle my meltdowns. He also took part of the day off and cleaned a whole bunch for me to help out since the past three months have been pure hell for us. He also made lunch. Which after he went outside, and since he was nearby, I stuck by him outside and followed him with the weed Wacker while he mowed. I'm happy to be working with this one person. They really are kind and reminded me to breath today over email. And even said not to worry about being late. So, it's nice, some stress off my back. I really wish I accidentally didn't forget my PTSD medications existed and quit taking them back in January. Finally over a 100 dose. Working back up to 300. My psychiatrist sent me a list of all my medications I printed off and stuck to my med cupboard to help me keep track of them all. Still anxious. Going to take my second dose of Gabapentin for the day. It feels like my third dose tonight isn't going to get here soon enough. I hate how I feel from the issue of Time. I am so patient, but holy crap, do I hate when I'm late. It's the worst feeling. It feels like my skin is being peeled off from my shoulder down to my finger tips, slowly. Better days are a head. They always are.

Thanks. I added it to my book list on Amazon. I can also look at Barnes and Noble as well.

~~~~~ I think that's also one of the reasons people get addicted to energy drinks. While in college, mine was Amp by Mountain Dew and later, Monster. I had discovered Frappuccino by Starbucks by the time I was doing construction.

@NocteSpiritus It's called How To Keep House While Drowning and it was recommended to me by a friend of mine who is a psychologist and recommends it to her clients. It's pretty short and easy to read but I found it helpful. It should be available from the local library

~~~~~ Just to chime in on this a bit as I've been there, done that... The having a social life with the full-time job, depends on the job. The number of people maintaining a clean house depends on the level of germaphobia a particular clean freak has (speaking of myself...😆): When I was in an administrative office building, I mainly had a desk job (that included overtime) while taking college classes (which were only twice a week) and I would hang out after work or classes because I was mainly siting all day. When I got home, I took care of cooking and tidying up and would do major cleanings on the weekends. When I did construction, it was all I could do to make it home at night, put things in place for easy access, pass out and get up to repeat the next day. The weekends were for errands and sleeping. Housework was something that was done late night or on the fly so there were all kinds of dusters, mini vacs, cleaning sprays, lint removers and Febreze had just come out so that kept odors down until a real cleaning could be done on a holiday weekend. There was no real social life with the exception of visiting family on said holidays. During this time, paper plates and microwaved meals was the thing. When I did building maintenance and admin at a Japanese company, everyone worked overtime and after work socializing was mandatory (they were a bit more lenient with non-Japanese coworkers as mandatory socializing is not a part of everyone's culture). That pushed cleaning back to the weekends, but dinner came home from restaurants...score! Working as a "Chore Worker" for the State of Michigan, there is only a set number of hours that the state mandates for paid work, so fulltime was no where near 40 hours which left enough time to take care of multiple daily tasks and personal household chores. Free time actually became a thing and socializing was frequent if even just hanging with the neighbors (during that time, everyone knew each other on the block). Now, as a fulltime, 24/7, Home Care Provider through insurance, housework and socializing are actually parts of the job. Fortunately, I am the caregiver to my sister so that's an added bonus. However, an outside social life is limited dependent upon the needs of the patient, but on good days, fun things do happen in the way of outings.

It kind of happened when I was a kid. I'd have these cool dreams. I can tell you one sometime if we are ever in person. Their too long to write. Anyways, I went into a dry spell, with a lot. (also, search the comments on the first page to see the candle inncodent, I have video footage I can send). Shits weird. ____ I want to make this clear, this is not at all a post asking about what religion I should follow for this. I am seeking advice from several and gather information based on what I gather from each one. I don't practice. I just, learn. And that's why I am here... I was raised severally Christian. I can explain more about God and Christ, and the Holy Spirit than anything else in my life. I was raised in a Christian End Days Cult. Pentecostal, but I don't want to make this a negative thing. ____ Anyways, exactly May 1st, 2022... I I begin going to warped worlds of my past. Like, a Goth club out in the corn fields of what is Colon, MI. But Colon is built a lot like Athens, MI. I love dreams. My hillbilly great-grandmother believed we had powers with dreams, but, I never got to ask her, I wanted to learn about this stuff after she passed. She lived a good loooong life, maaanny Grand babies. But there are many other places I keep returning to, every single night. Nonstop. Every night it's always progressing more and more into war as time goes on. I have been keeping Roger up to date on these dreams as much as I can. I remember the first day so well, I told Roger about it and even how it was very different than my normal dreams I've, 99.9% of my life, so far, had. I know the Athiest/Agnostic views. Roger is one. We respect each other's differences 💚 he knows I'm super entuned with the earth and nature and I do my own thing. He laughs sometime, but reminds me I shouldn't be ashamed. Hell, he gave me his first deer skull he ever cleaned as a kid, for my Alter. Anyways, I'm looking to branch out and learn what these dreams could mean based on knowledge gathered from experience or books. I'm looking to dive more into this. Scott D helped me already regain my footing back after a great depression knocked me out of myself for four years. I've, started feeling a lot lately. Like, alive again. Spiritually, and... My dreams make me sleepy. Yes I sage, my Hippie sister sent me many crystals and my eagle brother sent me white sage from his garden to cleanse my house, but they won't go away. He says it's apart of who I am, but, we've been both so busy I haven't been able to actually talk to him about these. I don't necessarily have to believe everything I'm told, but I'm not going to sit here and say what I do and don't believe. I don't want to rip views apart. I want to learn. Not make a post for bashing

I don't think she's come back to the boards, but @FarrIL does some dream interpretation.

We had a small but successful goth event in our neck of the woods, and now I'm just chilling.

I am feeling an odd combination of anxiety, excitement, spite, worry, relief....

I am cheering for you. You got this

Absolutely exhausted, and not just end of work week exhausted, but like life force exhausted. Thanks to learning how to harness my CPTSD, I've been able to put myself on full throttle beast mode for 3 straight years. 2021 I had 3 full time kitchen jobs. Lead line cook at two, and baker at the third. 2022 I had just 2, one lead line cook and the baker position. I had like maybe 7..8? days off total for those two years. This year is actually my calmest in work, but it's still full time. Like financially I got some serious momentum going. And somehow my body hasn't slowed down yet. But man I'm just feeling the exhaustion from that and so much more these past 3 years. I feel secure though. Not complete yet, but my goals are pushing forward at a visible speed finally. But the exhaustion is accumulating, but I'm pacing myself now.

I feel great, now that this week is over. I feel It started out crappy and stressful, and I feel that it ended sort of the same way.

I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of my house.

In an hour and a half I teach a sewing class. And I am so nervous no one is going to show XD 3 people are rsvp'd as "going" and I have a slew of "maybes" So we shall see! Worst case scenario I eat cookies in the park by myself XD

Go stop at a dispensary (better than I was a couple weeks ago, but need something to help), "help" close up the yard sale at the mother's, run to grab something, then to Blues, Brews, BBQ event in Westland.

Saw this band live! Loved them!

~~~~~ I taught the Monchichis to space out housework so it's not overwhelming. When there are no other "main" factors in a living space, I do what I call a "maintenance cleaning": basic dusting, floors, straighten things, pest control. This is done 3 times a week. A full blown top to bottom house cleaning is done maybe 1 to 2 times per month. When specific things need to be fixed or maintenanced, I make a To-Do list starting from "most need" to "can wait" items so I don't stress over something that can be put off until later, but written down so as not to forget about it. For stuff that takes the most amount of funds, I do the prep work for it, façade it (to give it a neat appearance) then come back to it when I have the money. Knowing where to put the most energy and knowing what can wait can keep you focused.

I'm there with the construction; albeit working in a restaurant. There's also stuff I wanna do around the house that require money and I wanna build up that savings fund for a bit before I spend more. There is a crash after a shift.

XD becuase I went on a rant about Rusty Shipp pretending his audio slave cover wasn't a cover.

Rocking back and forth. Cannot get out of the meltdown that I woke up into today. Tried using words in real life, and its not happening. I have been in and out of crying all morning for the passed 3 hours because my anxiety is high up there, all I can do is live in trauma flash backs, tried reaching out to my therapist, but he's backed up with work, and life, he is a dad so I am not upset at him.... Ripped a chunk out of my scalp on accident scratching my head in a meltdown state. Ripped the bed of my nail off too, lost two toenails again in the past month from the stress, honestly ripping nails off my feet have always been therapeutic when stress gets this bad. Roger is handling walking the dog and watering my plants until I can calm down and feel safe leaving the house again.

Battle Beast - Show Me How to Die

~~~~~ I looked it up earlier because I had never heard of that before. I cracked up when I saw this. 😆

I took grouper fish, I added fresh parsley, fresh garlic, a pinch of an Asian fish herb mix, pepper, salt, shallots, and chili to butter. Added the mix to the fish. Warmed up grapeseed oil and a bay leaf to the skillet, and gently cooked. The veggies are just salt and pepper broccoli and cauliflower air fried.

Current location? Bloomfield/Pontiac Where from? Farmington Hills Gender? f Work? HP Kids? childfree Hobbies? Paper stars, co-op board games, tabletop rpgs, watching tv shows, "Path of Exile" computer game, swimming, artsy-craftsy stuff, and lots and lots of sleep Why did you decide to join DGN? Via: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1143607795650234/permalink/1546817598662583/ For access to http://www.detroitgothic.net/index.php?/profile/40-scary-guy/&tab=node_gallery_gallery How did you pick your DGN name? Remember those gas station pills, with caffeine and ephedra and iron and ginseng and anything else that might help if you're tired? I LOVED those. Bought them by the case. Superstingers>Minithins imho. Other Stuff? At some drug stores, including Rite Aid, behind the pharmacy counter is a non-prescription pill called Bronkaid (not to be confused with any Sudafed variation they also keep back there). Bronkaid + NoDoz = MiniThins. In case anyone else misses the good old days too. Other Stuff? I'm that girl drawing on my arm in the corner because I'm just a little shy. Other Stuff? I've sorta been wanting to join your club for years.

i was bullied as kid because my family was poor and my sisters and i were the only white kids in our school. in middle school people made fun my sister because of how she looked, or they did till i started going there. i was the size of a linebacker people didn't want to mess with me.