A parent at home

[jadnifer]

i just want to know how you all feel about this subject.

[ManicQueen]

Depends on the situation

[Killer_Bunnie]

I'm in the middle of deciding which of us is going to be at home, because we both think that someone should be. so far I have the first year because of breastfeeding, but after that I think I'd want to work part time, and he does the same but at night, so we take turns being home, like my parents did. it does all depend on the situation like M Q said.

[honeymustard02]

If it in some way shape or form improves your family life then stay home. BUT if it's just because one of you doesn't want to work then no.

I think being a stay at home parent is great as long as you're actually using it to better your families life.

But I have a big problem, and this comes from my personal life, with people who say they're a stay at home parent. And in reality they don't do a shits worth of parenting or home keeping at all.

I read somewhere that it's actually becoming more and more popular for stay at home dads now and the the mom goes to work. A nice change from the woman stays home while the man brings home the bacon belief.

[Scary Guy]

Really does depend on the situation. Factors are hours that they work, age of the child, area lived in (obviously if it's a bad area you don't want to leave the kid home alone), and possibly a few others that aren't coming to mind right now. Oh yeah how much extra money will come in is important as well.

If the kid is around 12 obviously he/she can probably take car of his/her self fairly well by that point. I've known peopel who ran away at 15 and never looked back surviving fairly well. So you can pretty much not have to worry about them then and head off to work. If you work different shifts or have a small 2 hour overlap with your S/O's job then you can probably get away with it. Though I think there are fines and CPS might get involved if the child in question is under the age of 12 (I think, might be younger). Or rotate the job around school hours and it can double as daycare.

[Steven]

this society make it difficult for the old classic model of Dad working and mom staying home with the kids difficult to accept for several reasons:

1) the high cost of living

2) the Joneses we foolishly think we need to keep up with and so we spend money that is not ours for things that we do not really need in order to feel like were really "successful" or at least look like it.

3) the criticism of this traditional role by the modern age and the media.

me, personally...... I think Men should push themselves to cover the financial end. Women should push themselves to rear their children and ensure they have identity and purpose so that they are not raised by MTV and Daycare. Both are tall challenges.

[Rayne]

Depends, mostly financially.

I don't think both should if possible ... my mom stayed home with me and my brother until we were in school. I know how much of an impact that made with me ... and my brother. My ex came from a family where both parents worked, he was always with babysitters and such and he remembers that.

I am not biased to whom should stay home. I was a SAHM for the better part of 6 1/2 years. Now my ex has been a SAHD since March.

When I live with my last ex ... who I have 3 kids with, it was financially very possible for me to stay at home with the kids. Which I did.

Now, I work ... I have to.

[Brenda Starrr]

Well now......

I'm the only one working at the moment. NOT by choice. My husband was laid off the week we moved into our house in March. Yes, I make decent money. But can we say NO to the fact that he can just stay home? Yeah. No......

He's been actively seeking employment since then, but is overqualified for everything. Sucks for us. It's convenient in the fact that my kids don't start their summer program for another two weeks, so he's home for them. I can extend my hours. But in all reality, we NEED two incomes. It's really not an option. Sure, if he made six figures, I could stay home or travel. However again, not an option. And besides, I really love my job and the people I work with.

[JaneDead]

i'm the "stay at home parent" and in reality life would be better if we had 2 incomes, but to me it is better for me to take care of my kids instead of letting someone else do it.

i feel that when you are a stay at home parent there are many ways you can work from your home if need be (babysit other kids, sell stuff on ebay, etc) and still be there to take care of your kids.

i personally feel if it is at all possible it is ideal to have one parent home with the kids. but if you can't do it financially then of course both should work.

i used to work at a school that was open from 7 am til 6 pm and some kids were there 7 am til 6 pm and it was SO unnecessary. some of these parents used that as a way to not raise their own kids. this is not just my opinion, i witnessed it and know it was going on (because these were very rich people and i am sorry but when you are rich like that you don't need to be away from your kids 11 hours a day).

some would even pick them up and then take them off to some sort of "practice" (sports, dance, music, whatever). or grandma/grandpa/a babysitter would pick them up and mom/dad would be off doing something else - not even working.

kids like that don't get a childhood, they get a schedule and that is about it.

[Fierce Critter]

I'm definitely old-school on this.

I believe in a parent staying home with the child(ren).

And preferably the mom.

Definitely old-school.

[Steven]

Well now......

I'm the only one working at the moment. NOT by choice. My husband was laid off the week we moved into our house in March. Yes, I make decent money. But can we say NO to the fact that he can just stay home? Yeah. No......

He's been actively seeking employment since then, but is overqualified for everything. Sucks for us. It's convenient in the fact that my kids don't start their summer program for another two weeks, so he's home for them. I can extend my hours. But in all reality, we NEED two incomes. It's really not an option. Sure, if he made six figures, I could stay home or travel. However again, not an option. And besides, I really love my job and the people I work with.

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[/quote

His lucky day wil come Brenda, he has to be a winner if he snagged you.....

[Homicidalheathen]

If you can afford it I think one should stay home. But I do think having a good sitter is ok and a family member is better if they are good with kids....

I had to work when my kids were young but at the time it seemed good for them. They are twins and were alone together so much they had 'twin speak' and I had to enroll them in preschool to get them to talk right and ready for kindergarten. Oh and it helped them get over shyness.

[DarkVampire]

I only speak from my experiance when I was a kid growing up.

I think one parent should be a homebody that stays home while the other one works. This shows a parental figure is available all of the time while the child is growing up. Too often in this day and age we stick children in front of tv or video or let them do their own thing. We see how the current situation is in this country, violence, drug use, children having children before they graduate school. Could these factors come from both parents being at work and absent in the childs formative years? Perhaps. I know me and my sister have grown up with good morals, good work ethic, decent people because one of our parents stayed at home. Which was my mother, my father worked his ass off to keep the family supported but I think it paid off in the long run.

[Guest Megalicious]

I have been fighting with this very issue in my head for the last 3 months or so. I think it is very important to stay home and raise my child and I am in a postion where that would be possible, however I also want to work, not only so I may have a life of my own sperate from my "household" but also so Jarod my have an active and well deffined role in parenting our son.

However, when I grew up I didnt have a real family unit. Part of me wants so badly to stay at home with our son, to watch him grow, to not miss a min of it, because they grow SO FAST. I want to be able to be there for him, to make sure he is safe, to help him learn, just the thought of leaving him alone with some stranger or even I person I somewhat know instills this FEAR in me .. that is unexplainable. I don't want to have to go to work and leave my son, in tears because he wants him mommy =(

But I can not imagine myself as just a stay at home mother, I'm not saying its a bad thing to be a stay at home mom, honestly it's probably the hardest job that anyone every has to do and I have so much respect for stay at home moms, but I just can't see myself in that role as much as I would love it. I don't know .. Im still confused :confused. It's just all so much, all at once having to make such adjustments to your life... and so much of that can be so VERY emotional when Pregnant .. I love the idea of being a homemaker and having my primary role of rasing our son, but I just don't know if it the right role for me. :confused

Great now Im all confused again lol ..

Women should push themselves to rear their children and ensure they have identity and purpose so that they are not raised by MTV and Daycare.

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I know this is sooooo IMPORTANT! ...

and mom/dad would be off doing something else - not even working.

kids like that don't get a childhood, they get a schedule and that is about it.

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That is so sad. =(

[BrassFusion]

I'm not sure what's going to end up being right for me, yet. Regardless of what my future spouse may do for a living, I'm in the sort of professions where I could make a decent part-time wage working from home. I'll do that forever and ever as long as I can find students in my area.

[Killer_Bunnie]

I have been fighting with this very issue in my head for the last 3 months or so. I think it is very important to stay home and raise my child and I am in a postion where that would be possible, however I also want to work, not only so I may have a life of my own sperate from my "household" but also so Jarod my have an active and well deffined role in parenting our son. 

However, when I grew up I didnt have a real family unit.  Part of me wants so badly to stay at home with our son, to watch him grow, to not miss a min of it, because they grow SO FAST. I want to be able to be there for him, to make sure he is safe, to help him learn, just the thought of leaving him alone with some stranger or even I person I somewhat know instills this FEAR in me .. that is unexplainable. I don't want to have to go to work and leave my son, in tears because he wants him mommy =(

But I can not imagine myself as just a stay at home mother, I'm not saying its a bad thing to be a stay at home mom, honestly it's probably the hardest job that anyone every has to do and I have so much respect for stay at home moms, but I just can't see myself in that role as much as I would love it. I don't know .. Im still confused :confused. It's just all so much, all at once having to make such adjustments to your life... and so much of that can be so VERY emotional when Pregnant .. I love the idea of being a homemaker and having my primary role of rasing our son, but I just don't know if it the right role for me.  :confused

Great now Im all confused again lol ..

I know this is sooooo IMPORTANT! ...

That is so sad. =(

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you can always do what my mom did, she worked part time, but didn't go to work until my dad got home, they had a quick dinner together, then she worked at night for Kmart. it worked out very well, although I hear that my dad didn't think I needed clothing, because skin is easy to clean