Oh My God I Can't Breathe

[JaneDead]

"The worst punishment for stealing a guy like that is having him."

--oh so true!

"I really, though, don't blame her as much as him. Guys like that love to play women off against each other when they're the real guilty parties, and probably lying to everyone anyway."

--most definately. my ex was like that. i am sure the "other" girl either didn't know about his girlfriends, thought they were "psycho" or some other awful thing he made up to make him look better.

and even though your ex's new girl KNEW about you- doesn't mean she knew too much about your actual situation.

[fallennon]

Yes, she did. I talked to her on several occassions and TOLD HER the situation. Then asked her to have respect for me and stay out of my house. Which she didn't. When I told her that I was still sleeping with him she responded, "Well, you're a better person that me because at least you had the balls to tell me."

She has decided to say nothing to him and to continue on with the marraige. Guess I've done my part and absolved myself. Which is really all that I can do.

[honeymustard02]

Just because you told her and she doesn't care doesn't make what you're doing right.

You were so hurt with him cheating and having another woman. But now you're the other woman and it's ok?

[fallennon]

No. I absolved myself and got OUT of the situation. Honeymustard me thinks that you are a little two judgemental and if you don't have something nice to say, I would reccomend keeping it to yourself. Yes, I have posted this publically but for ADVICE, not to get the shit kicked out of me. This is now the second or third time you have given your opinion without knowing the facts and I think (even though you may or may not be trying to) you are coming across as a little rude here. I am not trying to be rude in this reply, I'm just really sick of it. Maybe I'm taking it the wrong way, but I'd appreciate it if you took everything into consideration and stopped judging me. Thank you.

[honeymustard02]

I have read all the posts on here, well that I have come across, that you have posted about this.

And it's just my thinking that if it's so hurtful then you should have left him a long time ago.

I know when you have feelings for someone for a long time, it's hard to let go. But it has to be done sometime.

It may come off rude but I'm not one to candy coat things. I don't know how really. Kind of a down fall I guess.

Anyway. Find someone better. Leave him to his skank and move on.

[JaneDead]

i don't think honeymustard is trying to be rude - just more "tell it like she sees it" and the only thing she has to go on is what you are telling her here.

her perspective of this is "on the outside" and sometimes that is a clearer view. it can be broken down in a more practical way.

girl meets guy. guy is an ass. girl still loves guy- even though guy is an ass. obvious conclusion is to move on and not look back. it is easier said than done- but it IS the best thing to do. doesn't make it easy. might not be the outcome you wanted. but it is the best for all involved.

i think people on the outside looking in also want those involved to take responsibilty for their actions as well. not just say that guy is an asshole. well shit yeah he is, BUT you let him be by going back for more. and even if YOU don't go back for more and HE comes after you- you still have to put a stop to it.

i'm not trying to jump on you now either- and you know i know where you are coming from (with my own similar past situations with my ex) --

but now that i have gone through it and come out alive i can see how others view it too. especially the people who never went through it fallennon. those people think we are the assholes too. not just the guy.

[honeymustard02]

Exactly. Thank you for saying it the way I didn't know how.

[fallennon]

I apologize if I came across as rude. I just meant that by absolving myself I was getting out of the situation. I thought I made that clear, and I didn't. I thought that by saying I felt the need to absolve myself I was admitting that I knew what I did was wrong. That's all I was trying to get across. I appreciate the explainations and sorry if I came across as a bitch.

[JaneDead]

i have never felt you come across as a bitch. i felt you only come across as someone who has been hurt far too many times, by too many people in, in too many ways. and that you are sick of it and are at the point of feeling helpless and hopeless most days. and are in need of change and trying to discover what that is.