A Phone Call

[fallennon]

Last night my ex, the one after my son's father, called me up. He cried his eyes out and apologized to me. He said that he couldn't believe he had lost something so special and someone who was so good to him. He told me that he realized once he had lost me all that was gone and begged me to forgive him. He said that he needed me and missed me and couldn't go another day without seeing me. He asked how my son was and cried when he told me that he missed him. Then he called me this morning to wish me a great day and asked me to call him later. He said that he wanted to see me tonight and that he was so happy to hear my voice again.

What do I do? He's not the crying kind of guy. At all. And I really cared about him a lot. Everything just got confused over his baby's mom and my baby's dad. I think that we both were hurting over our loses and ruined what we had by trying to get back something that wasn't worth having.

But I don't know that I can trust this. He did leave once already. And I don't know if I can do it again.

Any advice?

[Brenda Starrr]

I would sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him how you feel and what you want and expect. If he wants you back, tell him what you will not tolerate. It's all about you and your son, Jessika. He needs to be made aware of this.

[fallennon]

That's what I was thinking to. I just don't want another episode like I had with my son's father.

[Brenda Starrr]

And you need to lay down the law on that. You know what's right.

[JaneDead]

also another thing to think about- do you really want to be with HIM again? is it him you want to be with or are you feeling the need/want to be with someone?

[Fierce Critter]

The only advice I can give is it's probably better to wait 6 months before getting into a relationship with ANYONE.

You're on the rebound from 2 people pretty much. Wouldn't you think you need some time to get your feelings, emotions & head straight?

I'm a fan of Dr. Joy Brown, and she always recommends a 6-month "single" period under circumstances like this. I think it'd help you out, to be honest.

[Ginevra]

You already said in another thread that you have decided that you and your son are all you need. You've made that determination within yourself - - Now stick to it!

Be friends with this man if you'd like. Heck, go out to McD's once in a while. But don't do anything else and have some separation from ANY ONE you are/were involved with for a while. Give yourself some time to get things back together for yourself . . . and for your son . . . . and then start from there. And I'm not talking just a few days or a couple of weeks. Fierce Critter is very right, in my opinion. 6 months is an excellent starting point.

[fallennon]

I thought about it this weekend and yes, I'm backing down from the relationship thingy...

[Nienna]

It has been my (very recent) experience that if he left once, he will leave again. To make matters worse, it's WAY harder when he does it a second time, because you have the disappointment factor on top of the hurt of being rejected. Just don't do it.

[fallennon]

We hung out...ouch...maybe I should just stay away...it's hard to keep feelings seperate...