Are You Who You Are Online?

[Fierce Critter]

I'm bringing this in here, because I believe it falls better under "sociology" than, say, computers, relationships, etc.

You've got that all backwards. You've met her mind, it's on here.

That was one of the most insightful things I've ever read.

I'm reminded that I met Jon online. We talked for 2 months in IM's before we ever met in person.

And I fell quickly in love with the guy I met, months before we ever were face-to-face.

Upon getting together face-to-face, yes, some things were very different. Turns out Jon was shy as all get-out. The kind of things he had to say to me on the 'net just didn't quite come through once we were face-to-face. The shyness, the lack of self-confidence in social situations, just froze him.

But I knew who Jon was because he had shown me through the 'net. Over time, he's gotten more confident. More able to say and show these kinds of things openly. The "mind" I was exposed to online eventually was able to show itself freely and fully.

I got into a debate about this sort of thing with someone who frequents a very different type of board. They had insulted me, and I approached them directly about it. This is a person I have never met face-to-face. And their defense for the insult was that they were insulting a fictitious personality - that who you are on the 'net does not accurately reflect who you really are. So he was, in effect, insulting a "non-being".

I countered "bullshit". In fact, I think we're very much MORE who we REALLY GENUINELY ARE from the safety of cyber-space. I know I feel more able to express myself in type, because though a one-time English major, I have a certain weird problem of not being able to find my words when speaking out loud. I can often be trying to say something, and search for one single, fucking word that won't come, and it throws of my entire line of conversation.

I only express myself in threads/IM's/etc. that deal with something I feel inclined to discuss/comment on directly. In effect, I'm "speaking my mind" - being my mind - by discussing certain things, and not others.

I chat a lot about religion. I chat less about sexuality. In reality, I'm an extremely spiritual person. And repressed sexually. I am what I talk about.

What do you think? Are we "more" ourselves online, or less? Can you really "judge" or "get to know" a person by what they say online? How they handle themselves?

[phee]

I try to be.... to put it simply

[ssid67]

I"m a bag of tricks on-line or off-line

In person and ocasionally when I'm having my out of body experience.

I aspire to be shy. But, dwell in being an AZZ..

[Brenda Starrr]

Maybe I am a little different IRL. Online, I do seem to hold back quite a bit. Anyone who knows me personally knows that it's not possible IRL. There is no filter.

[pharoh]

Almost everyone on DGN knows me and knows at least what I am about, I put no fronts up and I don't try to pretend I am something I am not. If ppl are acting that way towards you FC then in all honesty is it even worth the effort of getting mad? I mean seriously......all you have done is just weeded out the weak in my opinion. If someone doesn't like me for me then fuck em......I'm not about to change, but thats just me hun. I wish ya then best

[kellygrrrrrl]

I try.....

I try to type how I would tak....

I try to get my message across to the best of my ability....my brain thinks faster than I can type....

There are certain sites though where I live vicariously through the sinnernet.....one actually...

not here though, or myspace......

[Onyx]

Very interesting subject! Nobody ever really knows another person completely though. Some are very good at pretending to be someone they are not. Sometimes that prevents me from getting close to people, as if I hit a wall and back away when they try to get too close.

I've met a lot of you and one thing I find is that most all I've met from here are quite a lot of fun in person. (perhaps not quite as intimidating and opinionated). Sometimes people have a bit of a harsher edge online than in person because you can't see the body language or facial expressions and things come across differently.

I believe that a lot of who I am is revealed online.

I'm curious whether those of you who have met me think so. hmmm.

[Head Wreck]

i try to be, sometimes accidentilly so.

one person described me as a social handgrenade, liable to go off at times, due to foot in mouth moments

[JaneDead]

i am *sort of* myself. i mean, i am not phony on here by any means. but i hold back a LOT. i keep a lot of information about the real me off of here. chances are if you think you know me based on what you read on here, chances are you are wrong.

[Homicidalheathen]

Yup, I am really this dingy in person. Just meet me at CC somenight and I will prove it to ya!

[Rayne]

I dunno I don't try to be different, but honestly, who am I to judge - others always see things like this about yourself much clearer than well, yourself ... so, am I?

Al knows me, Marc knows me, Phee knows me ...

[phee]

I dunno I don't try to be different, but honestly, who am I to judge - others always see things like this about yourself much clearer than well, yourself ... so, am I?

Al knows me, Marc knows me, Phee knows me ...

And so happy that I do...

[torn asunder]

nobody really knows me, so i'd say i'm the same online & irl...

[BrassFusion]

I'm the same person, of course. I just present myself differently. I think that's the case with most people. On here, I probably come across bitchier or more opinionated. Though I would (and often do) say the same things "in real life" that I do on here, it's out of the context of my actions and I don't have as much control over how other people take it.

That, and when you're writing a post in a message board, usually it has to have a reason

(PHEE!!!)

, so there's less fun-loving banter than if you're sitting around chilling with people. You can't just sit around and have drunk talk on a message board.

[torn asunder]

You can't just sit around and have drunk talk on a message board.

oh, yes you can!!

:fear

:whistling

[Head Wreck]

okay. next saterday (not this one, i may be away for weekend with work and away fromn a computer) i declare it international drunken typing day

[Brenda Starrr]

oh, yes you can!!

:fear

:whistling

Oh yes. It's been done.

[BrassFusion]

okay. next saterday (not this one, i may be away for weekend with work and away fromn a computer) i declare it international drunken typing day

Heh. OK.

[phee]

Heh. OK.

But I don't drink.... I THINK IT'S A DISGUSTING HABIT :fear

[BrassFusion]

But I don't drink.... I THINK IT'S A DISGUSTING HABIT :fear

No one asked you, teetotaler.

[phee]

*Phee attempts to uncharacteristically stear the topic back to the original"

I think I am more shy in person.... and more outgoing online

[BrassFusion]

*Phee attempts to uncharacteristically stear the topic back to the original"

I think I am more shy in person.... and more outgoing online

probably true. you're scared to death of ME, at least. or maybe that's just cuz i'm a 12-foot-tall scaly japanese monster. who's invariably drunk whenever she actually sees you in person.

[Steven]

man, good topic.

am I who I am? I think i am. Perhaps I'm a bit more akward in a face to face until some time has been invested. But once I'm over that I'm just me. I lack the depth to sub-divide.

[TygerLili]

I'm more shy in person, and I think everyone else I've met from this site is, too.

It's more pronounced in some than in others; but how can you not be more outgoing online? In public, it's easy to sit back and let other people talk or other things happen, but why go online if not to say what you want to say? You may have days where you just read and have nothing to say, but you still probably say more on the days you do want to express yourself.

[Scary Guy]

First FC thanks for the great complement.

Yeah I tell it like it is, and I only speak up when I have something to say of some value. I'm the exact same way in real life as I am online.

I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, I don't have a million screen names, and I am who I am nomatter what. Usually I never joke around because most people can't tell when I'm joking (especially since sarcastic tone is lost over the net).

Yeah some (or most) of you might not like what I have to say, or how I come accross. But it's who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way.