Throng Of Retarded "light" Smokers Overwhelms Local Authorities

[BrassFusion]

Judge OKs Class-Action Suit by 'Light' Smokers

by Adam Hochberg

Audio for this story will be available at approx. 7:30 p.m. ET

All Things Considered, September 25, 2006 · A federal judge in New York grants class-action status to smokers of cigarettes labeled "light." Tens of millions of smokers are suing tobacco companies, seeking as much as $200 billion, alleging they were duped into thinking the low-tar cigarettes posed less risks to their health. Tobacco companies say they will appeal.

[Guest Game of Chance]

I am so in on that...

I've been defrauded!

[Rayne]

Damn shame that I never took the bait on the "light" cigarette ploy. We're all gonna tie sometime. Whether it's of cancer from smoking or hit by a bus. When it's your time, it's your time.

Really Ben? We're gonna "tie"?

... What does that entail exactly?

:::: runs ::::

[Rayne]

I see something along the lines of this...

LOL. Good answer. :laughing

[Rayne]

It was better than this one:

Better than the dark, yep.

I see nothing.

[Rayne]

Don't you know, it's always scarier in the dark!

Yes ... *rolls eyes* ... I have kids, remember?

[Rayne]

Yes, I remember the little munchkin heads.

LOL, one is laying on me right now playing Donkey Kong 3 on her Gameboy ... when she should be doing her homework ...

[Fierce Critter]

I'm sorry. What was the topic again?

[Scary Guy]

I'm sorry. What was the topic again?

Smokers are either stupid or greedy, or both, I think that sums it up.

This is about as bad as obease people suing McDonalds for making them that way. Only difference is the food doesn't come labled with sugen generals warnings on the side saying WARNING: CONSUMPTION OF THIS FOOD MAY MAKE YOU INCREASE IN WEIGHT.

Does anyone know of any other idiotic lawsuits involving stupid people?

[Guest Game of Chance]

The libel suit us smokers have against you for calling us stupid.

[BrassFusion]

How about the whole, "Well, you made us think we weren't gonna die as fast as people who smoke Marb. REDS, but we ARE dying just as fast, so FUCK YOU! GIVE US MONEY!!"

Notice they never complain that they were led to believe that light cigarettes wouldn't be harmful. They're just pissed off because they thought they wouldn't be *AS* harmful as "full-flavor."

I'll give 3:1 odds that the tobacco companies solve this by adding newer and more interesting poisons to regular cigarettes and keeping lights the same.

[pharoh]

Yes, because the tobacco companies want their consumers to die rapidly. If only the government would allow them to dump the rest of "the batch" into the mix so they could knock out all smokers in one swoop!

This is who runs the tobacco companies:

[pharoh]

The secret of Phase 2 is out....

Phase 2: Kill all users of our product quickly.

Phase 1: Sell tobacco

Phase 2: Death to all!

Phase 3: Profit

[BrassFusion]

Phase 1: Market.

Phase 2: Addict.

Phase 3: Sell, sell, sell, sell, sell...

I think Scary mentioned something about obesity and McDonald's. Big tobacco isn't lacking in corporate responsibility any more than companies who market unhealthy food and alcohol and shit that isn't good for you but is fun for some reason anyway, so I don't blame Big Tobacco. Most of the litigation against them is bullshit, which is why I started the topic in the tone I did.

I blame... smokers.

[BrassFusion]

Wait, you can't really include alcohol into the mix. It has been proven to be medical FACT that a glass of wine per day is HEALTHIER than going without. It's like saying that someone OD'd on pot.

No, it hasn't been "proven" across the board. Alcohol is healthier for SOME people, and I'm not sure why you're focusing on it because it was only one example of corporations who market products that are commonly abused. They're in it for the money, and so what? That's how capitalism works.

As for OD'ing on pot... You've seriously NEVER heard of an alcohol-related death? Come on.

Blame ignorance first, then your government, then yourself for buying into it.

That's a bit lopsided. So one should be blaming someone ELSE'S ignorance first?

Phillip-Morris makes a lot more than smokes and every time you buy a Phillip-Morris product, you're contributing to the "smokers" that you place all this blame on.

Nooo, I'm contributing to Phillip-Morris. They make a shitload of money off smokers, way more than they'll ever have to refund through stupid frivilous lawsuits. I'm sure they don't just sell tobacco products at a loss because it benefits mankind; they're doing it for profit.

If their company wasn't as diverse, I'm sure the first class action lawsuit would of more than wiped them off the face of the planet.

Sure.

Also bear in mind that the term "unhealthy" is an opinion. For all we know, the cancer that someone gets from smoking may just turn out to be a jump in the evolutionary chain that a person's body just isn't ready for. Yet we run around and destroy this genetic mutation like the plague. Radiation isn't healthy, yet we use it to make people healthy.

This sounds like justification from someone who doesn't want to admit to himself that he participates in an activity that's likely to make his life shorter and less enjoyable.

Smoking isn't healthy, but it keeps me from being a raging bastard and no one wants that!

Yeah, we're all real scared of you there, Dr. Jekyll. And I'm sure if you permanently quit smoking, you'd be a jerk all the time because withdrawal lasts forever. And you're in no control of your behavior.

It must suck to be at the mercy of every government, corporation, and substance around you.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Hell my grandfather told me they knew even back in WWII that cigarettes were bad for you when they got them free from the U.S. government.

The tobbaco companies are EASY PICKINS for lawyers though nowadays.

Saw an anti-smoking commercial by Phillip Morris awhile back... you know they are taking it in the ass if they are going to make anti-smoking commercials to try and change their image. heh

People want to blame others for their problems to easily i think. Life is risky, gotta have some backbone and take responsiblity for your own actions.