Dating People Younger Than You...

[Guest Game of Chance]

I started hanging out with this girl...she's good stuff. Also, she's much younger than me. 19, and I'm 30.

I really don't think it will go anywhere...and frankly, I don't care. Just seems like fun.

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like its appropriate to take responsibilty and not allow the other person to get involved with you, as much fun as it might be?

[BrassFusion]

Hah! You're OLD!

But in all seriousness... I hope I'm never too "good" for 18-year-olds. Part of it might be expectations based on gender, too. Men are supposed to be 2 to 5 years older than their female counterparts, and that's BS... a guy who's 10 to 20 or more years older (depending on the age of both parties) than his girl is a "creep." A woman who's significantly older than the man in the equation doesn't seem to get that stigma. So I'll totally take advantage of that as I age disgracefully.

[Guest Game of Chance]

Here's the thing though...she thought until about an hour and a half that I was 25..so effectively just over 5 years older than her.

She so wanted to make out with me, and I so didn't.

Now I'm debating on whether I should have or not.

[Onyx]

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like its appropriate to take responsibilty and not allow the other person to get involved with you, as much fun as it might be?

Yep. I gave it a lot of thought and I decided we were both good for each other.

Time will tell.

[Guest Game of Chance]

Right on. There's no doubt we'll be hanging out again soon, plenty of mutual friends.

I guess time will tell.

[BrassFusion]

I could be wrong, and I don't wanna make assumptions that will offend you, but you're not so much the "commitment" type, right?

Make sure she's not. Then flank speed ahead. Literally.

[saechalyn]

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like its appropriate to take responsibilty and not allow the other person to get involved with you, as much fun as it might be?

Definitely.

A lot of people disagree with me, but age does matter to me. I'm most comfortable with someone close to my own age. But like you say, sometimes ya gotta do something for the fun of it.

[pharoh]

Nuthing wrong with dating the older women, they need luvins, but they have to pay

[pharoh]

No seriously I am seeing someone older than me, and I think it's fine.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I made out iwth a 19 year old when I was 29. I felt dirty as hell afterwards. I took a shower and got over it.

[Guest Game of Chance]

I could be wrong, and I don't wanna make assumptions that will offend you, but you're not so much the "commitment" type, right?

Make sure she's not. Then flank speed ahead. Literally.

Its not that I'm not the "commitment" type, its just has to be the right match. For both of us. I certainly wouldn't let someone negatively affect my life, and I would hope that they would feel the same.

Sometimes though, as Michael Stipe from REM says, "A simple prop, to occupy my time (this one goes out to the one i love)" is appropriate...

I guess I'm just not sure where it would lead to...and because I respect her, I don't want to fuck with her...

I suppose we'll just see how it goes (who knows, maybe nowhere!)

[sass_in_the_pants]

Just make sure you do the right thing, by her and by you. I'm sure you will make the right choice. Personally I couldn't date someone that young, mostly because far too much of my life revolves around the bar.

[Steven]

seems to me that there is a world of experience advantages that 30 has over 19.

[Rayne]

I know people who have minded and some who haven't. Personally, I won't go within two years younger than me. Seems like a good spot, regardless. I'm two years younger than Phee.

Older however, that's another story.

[pharoh]

seems to me that there is a world of experience advantages that 30 has over 19.

Hey you can even say 25 and 19 as well, but then I really think it depends on what the person wants to experience as well.

[HipsterDufus]

I like hanging around with younger people. I feel like it keeps me feeling younger (hahaha, I'm a psychic vampire!). Dating... well, I don't know about that. Maturity generally has little to do with age (I work with some middle-aged women that still act like they're in high school!) I say, if the shoe fits, wear it.

[JaneDead]

if it does not matter to you and the person involved then it should not be an issue.

i personally could not and would not date someone so young.

but in my experience younger men are just too immature. also i am at a place in my life that if i WERE to be dating i'd need someone mature, stable and something to offer long term. but you know that is just because of things in my life that are different (ie. my kids)

fun is fun. age does not matter.

commitment and long term make the difference for me where age is concerned. anyone under the age of 28 in my mind is not able to give me what i would want or need. and anyone over the age of 40 is just too old. ha. ok ok 40 is NOT old but over 40 for me is just too much of a difference.

[Homicidalheathen]

I am hanging with someone young enough to date my daughters these days. They get along well too but he hangs with me not them.......

We have more in common....he is sick of 'kids' he says.

He likes all my freinds.....

We do everything together......

There are some things that bother me. Like habits.......smoking.....being messy.......my kids don't smoke but are messy.

So I don't really see much of a problem, its all in the mindset of the person.

I have met people this persons age who act less mature or more so in different areas of their lives and......

Have known 40 yr olds that acted way more immature.....

Actually I think Its good because he ads adventure and excitment and I ad knowlege and understanding to the relationship....

The wierd thing? When I hang with people in their 20's I find they listen to Pink Floyd, Hendrix.....all these bands I used to listen too.

I listen to Manson and Techno and 'younger' bands........

I find that pretty funny. Sometimes I just look at them and go WTF?? why are you stuck in a time warp with your music???

There has been so much that has happened since the 70's and 80's......where the hell were you people???

It is time to let the old rock rest. That part gets on my nerves a bit....I am tired of those old bands ok? I listened to them enough already! Give me a break!

[Msterbeau]

I thinks it's been said around here before but it probably bears repeating: The age of the two people isn't nearly as important is their respective maturity levels. If those are in a compatible place and the people otherwise don't care about age differences.... then everything's cool. I think it's also worth saying that the same age difference has different implications depending on the actual ages. An 11 year difference like yours is a very different proposition then between people who are 39 and 50.

[Gauge]

I thinks it's been said around here before but it probably bears repeating: The age of the two people isn't nearly as important is their respective maturity levels. If those are in a compatible place and the people otherwise don't care about age differences.... then everything's cool. I think it's also worth saying that the same age difference has different implications depending on the actual ages. An 11 year difference like yours is a very different proposition then between people who are 39 and 50.

yea that. . . again

[BillyDeath]

I usually date older women.

[phee]

I have noticed several guys I know have a "thing" for the young ladies... I have heard that there is biology behind this, in that whole evolution thing (Like the attraction is there because they can bear children for years so the genes get passed on or something) I personally try not to pass judgement... but sometimes.... you know.

[TygerLili]

Yes, in general terms it does depend more on the maturity level, and just the personality of the people involved, than their respective ages. However, I have yet to see a person in their thirties dating someone in their late teens where the relationship didn't seem a little off, and that includes my failed attempt at age 20 to date a 31 year old. I was young and naive and though I knew everything, I didn't, and I still don't.

Personally I don't think I could date someone younger than 21, for several reasons, not the least of which is that it limits where you can go out. I also don't think I'm mature enough to date someone more than 5 or 6 years older than me. I am still figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life, and I don't want to date someone who is that settled in their own life that they can't explore options with me.

[Guest Game of Chance]

LOL...good answers everyone.

Here's the thing...she's a great girl, and we're good friends that could potentially develop into something more...

Nothing has happened, but we did talk about it a bit over a couple of bottles of wine last night.

We started talking about concerts and I brought up the NIN/Bowie show in '95. I'm telling her about it, and what a great show it was. She's like, "Wow. I was 8."

That made me second-guess whatever good feelings that I had about the night. I'll just play it by ear and see what happens.

[Gauge]

i say if your not wanting to get serious anyway and your only looking for is "A simple prop, to occupy my time (this one goes out to the one i love)" then it shouldnt really matter how old she was when you went to some concert. i guess i just see that as something that would maybe matter a little more if you were possibly looking for something long term. just have fun!