Starting Over

[honeymustard02]

Well as of a little over a week ago, Tj and I split after almost 5yrs together.

It was actually a pretty friendly conversation and we came to an agreement that we both weren't happy and we needed to split.

Well it's gone down hill from there. To keep it short, I'm a mess now, and he's pretty much moved on. There's a girl that we work with that we were both friends with. Well it came to light to me that she liked him. I could tell before we split that he liked her. Well ever since we've split, she's pretty much dug her claws in and he's gone with her. He's not mine anymore, but it still pisses me off. He had the balls to tell me that he wouldn't start dating for a long time. Yet both our days off he's over there with her. I know he's at least slept over there. He claims nothing has happened sexual, but I just doubt that.

I guess I'm going to be getting my own apartment. I have people who have offered me a place, but I just can't see myself living with anyone else after the shit I've dealt with.

Wish me luck that things start working out for me and I can move on.

[n0Mad]

Aww ...

I know how tough a breakup is after only a few months so I can imagine it's even worse after several years. And I'm all too familiar with having an ex move on immediately while I'm still trying to pull myself together. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I have several shirts I don't mind getting wet and I give great hugs.

[ManicQueen]

My ex and I just split up after 5 years as well. I know how hard it is too since I'm going through the same thing. I wish you luck and a happy new life.

[DarkChylde]

I've done started over along time ago, and I have to say im enjoying every minute of it trying to rebuild my life back to whut it was at one point.

I can understand the burden of pain, its hard and I hope you do better one day.

[Draco1958]

I can empathize with your situation. Went thru a breakup after 13 yrs together. If you ever need to just vent, email me. I'll listen. My shoulders are scotchguarded too plus I can deal with a soggy shoulder.

[mallochai]

First off... holy cow. I REALLY hope things work out for you, honey-m. That's a big change from the life you've been leading. Now's the time to really dig in your heels and regain sight of who YOU are, away from who you've been with your s.o.

secondly...

My ex and I just split up after 5 years as well. I know how hard it is too since I'm going through the same thing. I wish you luck and a happy new life.

Holy swiss cow!

Scuze my derail/threadjack...

wtf happened, brook?

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Ever since Brittani and I broke up 4 years ago..things have never been the same 4 me in the dating world...relationships only last a few weeks at tops...reason i say this is i too can empathize...I hope things go better for u then they do for me...

[honeymustard02]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the thoughts.

Yea it's been extremely hard to realize I'm on my own again. I've really lost sight of who I am. It's scary as hell, but at the same time I'm excited.

I spent pretty much all of friday balling my eyes out and then getting pissed and back again. Sat was pretty much the same. Except Tj and I started to fight, but then we got to talking. It helped some what but it lead to even more things that I have no answers to.

You guys are great.

[Zenji]

Although it's difficult all around, is it at least easier that you broke up and he found someone afterwards? I mean, for me, she didn't even wait until I was gone before she was with someone else.

She's all that I had even in the state of Michigan. I left everything behind to come here for her. Now that we have a child together it makes it even worse. Now I can't even run back home like I normally would. Now I have to deal with the aftermath of kids and responsibiloity. It adds to the difficulty quite a bit but I guess it's one of those life challenges.

Relationships are difficult by far. Difficult to have, difficult to lose. I have all of my stuff in a storage and I'm li ving out of my car. Just have friends from work who are few and far between to stay with when I can. I hope in some way that your split was easier and you're more stable. You need a strong support base in times like this and I hope you've got one.

I'm thankful that my child is young and won't be too traumatized. I'm thankful to be working and have the opportunity to take care of my child and still be there for him. Sometimes it's best just to appreciate what you do have in face of your loss and any pain that comes from it.

When you lose a life-mate it's hard, when you lose your home and the daily affection of your child, even more difficult. Appreciate what little you do have left. Appreciate the opportunity as you look to the future. as scary and foreign as it may seem, just sitting back and reflecting sometimes takes the horror out of life. It will take some time of course... time for you, time for me, time for everyone, especially if the relationship was strong from the start, but life's definitely worth it.

[Hellion]

:devil

Hopefully things get better for you,I myself have completely changed the

way I have been and the line of work I am doing has been a big factor.

Also I am moving in a few months also,best of luck to you.

[Reaper]

I haven't had a relationship last beyond 3 months yet, so I haven't really been hurt much. So I can't really relate. But hopefully you come to terms with it and move onto another eventually.

[kellygrrrrrl]

You know,...I heard something a while ago...

they say it takes half as lnog as you dated to fully get over someone.

In my expieince, I find this statement to be true after getting out of a 5 year relationship myself.

what made it even harder was he wa a mutual friend of friends, so he is still my friend now almost 10 years later.

It WAS hard to watchi him and his happy...but I also know it was hard for him as well!

10 years later after we are both married he plls me aside to tell things I didn't want to know....

Step is the realization.

Step 2 is the mourning.

then anger

then acceptance.

It doesn't make it any easier, but knowing is HALF THE BATTLE!

You got a great group of support here girl!

[honeymustard02]

I moved out here to be with him and left everything behind also. I was 18 and stupid. But I think it also helped me grow up. Now I have some more steps to take to becoming a real adult. I'm learning to do for me now. I'm scared but excited.

We've been talking and kind of arguing the past few days. It's helped a lot. I think both of us had frustrations that only the other could help get rid of. I kind of got some of my questions answered. I'm not saying it's fine now. But it's still going to be hard.

I'm trying hard not to be the jealous bratty one. But it's hard. Like I said I've still some growing up to do.

He said something to me the other day, that even though it was hard to hear, and it hurt, it was the truth. He's not my responsiblity anymore. It's true. I'm not his either. That's the hardest part to over come. What I feel and what I want does not have to enter into his life anymore. Just like it doesn't have to in mine.

I felt alone before, I still kind of do. But I'm opening my eyes to the fact that I do have more people around then I thought that care about me.

Even if we've never met or ever will meet in real life, you guys are good friends. A simple little message from someone can make another persons day.

[Draco1958]

There will always be supportive hugs here for you.

[ManicQueen]

There will always be supportive hugs here for you.

Agree's

[TygerLili]

Yea it's been extremely hard to realize I'm on my own again. I've really lost sight of who I am. It's scary as hell, but at the same time I'm excited.

I spent pretty much all of friday balling my eyes out and then getting pissed and back again. Sat was pretty much the same. Except Tj and I started to fight, but then we got to talking. It helped some what but it lead to even more things that I have no answers to.

Hang in there. The first month or two will probably be like this, one minute you're mad, the next you're excited, and the next you're just sad and depressed.

It's really hard to get used to doing things for yourself when you're used to doing them as a couple, but in a few months you'll probably look back and be amazed that you're much more capable than you thought you were.

Good luck!

[n0Mad]

We need to start a DGN "Single's Support Network".

[pharoh]

We need to start a DGN "Single's Support Network".

Lol thats gonna be put in the sex catagory right???

[n0Mad]

Lol thats gonna be put in the sex catagory right???

No, that would be the group called the "Single's Erotic Xpress". And how do I have the feeling you'd be the conductor on that train?

[Draco1958]

Not to sound like a downer but the first few months can feel like a rollercoaster. I know they did for me. Once you get past that you will realize just how much you have going for yourself, how well you can take care of yourself. Sometimes in a relationship you expect your S/O to be there and don't realize how much you can pick yourself up and move forward. We forget how self reliant we can be. You'll find your inner strength, you just need to give yourself time. The offer to let you vent still stands if you ever feel you need it.

[honeymustard02]

Yea I'm seeing that even now. He went to her house the other day and hasn't returned. We have tues wed off. He left tues morning.

Well I was trying not to be upset, but I couldn't help. So I drank. DON'T YELL AT ME!!! People have already covered that. lol I got pretty drunk but not shitfaced. I passed out and was sober yet hungover a few hours later.

I learned my lesson.

Well on the up side of this story. I got a hotel room last night and a friend of mine (a guy) met me there. We spent the whole time just talking and cuddling. God he felt good. No pressure for anything else. It just felt nice to have someone to touch and talk to. No nothing happened, sexual anyway. He kissed me and it just felt good.

I feel pretty good right now. I needed that pick me up.

Well I'm off to clean some things.