I Give In.

[Steven]

your missing me here DBK.

its not a question of right or wrong. You get into that mess and you start keeping tabs on one another and comparing whats fair, and when you pursue things that way then your destined to fail because your focus is still self serving.

You give, as you feel so led. Only YOU know how that equates, based on the needs of your partner and the realities of what you consider your own needs to be, and vice versa.

every situation is unique and individual. And if the relationship is healthy - yes - you will make some changes which broaden you, propel you forward, expand your vision and appreciation for another perspective and again - this is vice versa.

some questions to ask yourself: what do you really "need" versus that which you want? Is what you desire self serving - in order to make you more comfortable? Like the dress style thing....that to me...is a "youthful" question - it just does not run that deep - but at this stage of your life then maybe it does. And that is neither right or wrong, based on where your at in life.

there are many things that Laura and I have in common, this is true. But there are also many things and points of view between us in which we are polar opposites. For example she is WAY more cautious and much more of a planner than I will ever be. She also has a tendency to think things into oblivion, whereas I am a person who makes decisions very quickly and moves on them without looking back. She is a creature of habit, she likes what she likes and thats it. I am a wanderer who is always considering other possibilites and wants to discover new things. We are both also natural leaders but we have completely different leadership styles and approaches. We look at people differently, consider scenarios differently, process differently. Sometimes we are a monumental pain in the ass to one another. But more often than not we create balance for one another. Sometimes I give, sometimes she gives, sometimes we respect one anothers differences and even allow ourselves to admire those differences, its a constant evolving process. That's a relationship.

I may be wrong, but I beleive in a few foundational rules to relationships......the rest you develop as you go and its individual every time. It can be, a bit of adventure.

[BrassFusion]

there are many things that Laura and I have in common, this is true. But there are also many things and points of view between us in which we are polar opposites. For example she is WAY more cautious and much more of a planner than I will ever be. She also has a tendency to think things into oblivion, whereas I am a person who makes decisions very quickly and moves on them without looking back. She is a creature of habit, she likes what she likes and thats it. I am a wanderer who is always considering other possibilites and wants to discover new things. We are both also natural leaders but we have completely different leadership styles and approaches. We look at people differently, consider scenarios differently, process differently. Sometimes we are a monumental pain in the ass to one another. But more often than not we create balance for one another. Sometimes I give, sometimes she gives, sometimes we respect one anothers differences and even allow ourselves to admire those differences, its a constant evolving process. That's a relationship.

Sounds a lot like my mom and dad. they've been married 26 years.

[Steven]

Sounds a lot like my mom and dad. they've been married 26 years.

Sometimes Moms and Dad's might know a bit about this thing we call life.......(26 years? that's only 6 more than me!!! Gadz am I that old????)

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Never Give up! Never Surrender!

Froyn's right...if Tim Allen can keep it up...anyone can...anyone can have an actingg carreer too!

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

your missing me here DBK.

its not a question of right or wrong. You get into that mess and you start keeping tabs on one another and comparing whats fair, and when you pursue things that way then your destined to fail because your focus is still self serving.

You give, as you feel so led. Only YOU know how that equates, based on the needs of your partner and the realities of what you consider your own needs to be, and vice versa.

every situation is unique and individual. And if the relationship is healthy - yes - you will make some changes which broaden you, propel you forward, expand your vision and appreciation for another perspective and again - this is vice versa.

some questions to ask yourself: what do you really "need" versus that which you want? Is what you desire self serving - in order to make you more comfortable? Like the dress style thing....that to me...is a "youthful" question - it just does not run that deep - but at this stage of your life then maybe it does. And that is neither right or wrong, based on where your at in life.

there are many things that Laura and I have in common, this is true. But there are also many things and points of view between us in which we are polar opposites. For example she is WAY more cautious and much more of a planner than I will ever be. She also has a tendency to think things into oblivion, whereas I am a person who makes decisions very quickly and moves on them without looking back. She is a creature of habit, she likes what she likes and thats it. I am a wanderer who is always considering other possibilites and wants to discover new things. We are both also natural leaders but we have completely different leadership styles and approaches. We look at people differently, consider scenarios differently, process differently. Sometimes we are a monumental pain in the ass to one another. But more often than not we create balance for one another. Sometimes I give, sometimes she gives, sometimes we respect one anothers differences and even allow ourselves to admire those differences, its a constant evolving process. That's a relationship.

I may be wrong, but I beleive in a few foundational rules to relationships......the rest you develop as you go and its individual every time. It can be, a bit of adventure.

I envy you...you're a very very lucky guy...u know that?

[Hellion]

Even though I know I will be single for the rest of my life,but then again things can change.

I have alot of other things going on in my life,that have made me alot happier.That is pretty much

how I look at things today,realtionships are the least of my priorities at the moment right now,but cheer up dude,take care.

[BrassFusion]

Sometimes Moms and Dad's might know a bit about this thing we call life.......

Or they're just really good at enabling each other's bad habits and my Mom's gotten used to being disrespected and taken for granted on a daily basis. Plus they love each other, but I doubt they could change that if they wanted to.

(26 years? that's only 6 more than me!!! Gadz am I that old????)

Yeah...

[Steven]

I envy you...you're a very very lucky guy...u know that?

ahhhhh

don't envy me brother...."prepare thyself".......you've got plenty of time. And if it's any consolation, at your age (now I sound like some old ass Dad trying to be wise) I was all kinds of fucked up and didint have a clue about anything and my marriage was a Jerry Springer style debacle. Seriously.

I had to pretty much destroy what I had (and I pretty much did) before I got another chance (and mind you she left me for a year and I became an even BIGGER idiot and so she served me divorce papers) to start building what I should have been building years before. We learn these things dude, we learn or we fail and keep on failing by doing the same thing all over again which is what most people do. So don't do that.

your time will come. we all get a decent shot at it, its what you do with it that count...

PS - Laura was not my first love, or even my 3rd if you know what I mean. She's just the first one who challenged me enough to start some ditchdigging while she did some of her own. Don't confuse emotion with quality.....

[Steven]

Or they're just really good at enabling each other's bad habits and my Mom's gotten used to being disrespected and taken for granted on a daily basis. Plus they love each other, but I doubt they could change that if they wanted to.

Yeah...

that's a shame.

[Brenda Starrr]

sometimes its the one you least expect....the one whos been there all along.

=( )

Ain't that the damned truth......

He was engaged and living with someone else. I highly doubt he was looking for me either.

In a roundabout way, he was looking for you. Everyone has a dream girl. You are his.

[Msterbeau]

In a roundabout way, he was looking for you. Everyone has a dream girl. You are his.

I had (have) a dream girl once. I'm keeping her.

[Steven]

Laura was engaged and 2 weeks away from her wedding when we met, and I was dating her girlfriend Beth, and Gerrie my ex girlfriend lived 4 doors down the hall, and I was a notorious HO.

Bad Ju Ju.

Funny how things work out.

[TygerLili]

Now I have a question about that and :

If I asked her to dress that way wouldn't I be asking her to change her self for me? Or "making myself compatible", I'd be changing myself for her. Which I always viewed asking someone to change themselves for you as wrong. Isn't it?

Expecting someone to change their ways is wrong, asking someone to try something once for you to see if they like it is not. People change in the course of relationships anyway, it just naturally happens. When I think about who I am now versus, say, three years ago, I feel like I am a completely different person. No one forced those changes on me, they just kind of...evolved.

Relationships take work and compromise. You'll never find someone who is 100% compatable with you. Sometimes it takes a little searching to find the middle ground.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

Expecting someone to change their ways is wrong, asking someone to try something once for you to see if they like it is not. People change in the course of relationships anyway, it just naturally happens. When I think about who I am now versus, say, three years ago, I feel like I am a completely different person. No one forced those changes on me, they just kind of...evolved.

Relationships take work and compromise. You'll never find someone who is 100% compatable with you. Sometimes it takes a little searching to find the middle ground.

Never thought of it that way...

[The Void]

some questions to ask yourself: what do you really "need" versus that which you want? Is what you desire self serving - in order to make you more comfortable?

ditto to this.