Adult Children Talking To Parents

[The Void]

Something hit me between the eyes recently. Something that someone else did. I won't reveal who this was, but just to say that this person is around the 40-ish mark. so, they are a grown, independent, adult.

They were talking to one of their parents and basicly decided that they were going to lie about something that really did not require a lie and the lie had to do with me. I asked from that point forward the the lies not involve me.

I understand that sometimes we all need to omit information from our parents since they don't need to know everything, but to lie about stupid stuff to cover up something that you are doing adn using someone else in that lie...isn't that going too far? I thought it was rather immature frankly.

I really think that if you have not set up boundaries with people, boundaries with what is and is not your parents business and have not owned the fact that you are an adult, it's time to do so right now. It's not the end of the world, I was just really surprised to hear someone that old lying to their parent over something really dumb and I didn't get it.

Do most people lie to their parents to avoid telling them things? I mean do you go out of your way to make excuses and outright use other people as your excuse?

Personally I think dragging people into cowardice with parents is well, cowardly imo.

I'm not best buds with either of my parents, but I simply say nothing when it comes to things that are ot their busines OR I actually tell them "that's part of my private life and I'd rather not talk about it." and I have taht right as an adult not to tell them anything. Is it so hard to say to a parent that it's none of their business? Do we need to lie??? *scratches head*

Opinions? Situations?

[JaneDead]

i do not understand this either. i don't lie to my parents, i have no reason to. i mean i think last time i lied to my parents it was along the lines of "is your homework done?" "yes" so yeah that was when i was a kid

i had a friend who used to lie to her parents (as an adult, in her 20's). she smoked and said she didn't so if her mom happened to show up when we were on her porch (at her own home mind you) she would hand me the cigarette real quick and then her mom would shake her head at me for smoking and talk to me about how bad smoking was

she got pg and told her mom it was while she was on the pill and it didn't work. but, she was not on the pill she was just careless and unprotected.

she lied about a lot of little and big things and sometimes i was the cover up for them. i never really cared (maybe i should have) but over all i just didn't get why someone, an adult, would have to lie to their parents as if they were a little kid sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night.

i don't lie to my parents but there are some things that i may have not told them over the years; but those are things i just might not tell anyone or most people anyways. some things are not their business like you said, but no reason to lie.

[BrassFusion]

I only lie to my parents about where I'm spending the night and whether it's because I'm drunk or otherwise incapacitated. Only thing is, they know I'm lying. I tell little white lies about it because we all know they don't REALLY want to know where I am or what I'm doing.

When I finally fucking move out, I'll have lost any reason to lie to them.

[JaneDead]

another reason i didn't lie- i am a horrible liar. i just can't do it. i know when someone looks at me they will know i am lying. so when my parents would ask me something and then look at me, with that searching look - right then i just had to tell the truth. i hate disappointing someone with a lie, especially my parents or children.

plus i am now 32 years old, i'd feel a little foolish lying to my parents. i have children of my own who have to practice lying to ME now.

well only my son for now - he will be 11. and he, like me, is a horrible liar. gets caught EVERY time. the 5 and 3 year old i don't think understand the whole "lie" thing.

i guess i view lying to parents as a young thing to do.

[AstralCrux]

My mom would be the only Inquisitor still left from the Spanish Inquisition. (No one expects the Spanish Inquisition) I literally call her the Spanish Inquisition and tell her what I do is my business. If she didn't bother to comment or bring her beliefs into what I should be doing she'd be in the loop. Alas, she is not. I know what she basically does and doesn't want to hear- she only hears the parts she wants to know about.

[Homicidalheathen]

I don't lie to them per se' but don't see them much or involve them in my life much to avoid it as yah, I have allot I don't want them to know....

Now if its a little white lie to spare them hurt......and its not doing any harm, then I can see it.

[Steven]

Um, the whole lying thing........hate to say it but if that's where someone is STILL at after adolesence then I gots me no room in my life for yaz.....