Lonely...

[BrassFusion]

Skill at arts and crafts, even to the point of obsession, doesn't necessarily correlate with the kind of obsessive love that puts anyone else's feelings before your own. That's not really healthy. And you sound like the independent sort, anyway!

[glc]

I guess the kind of obsessiveness that is under discussion is the sort that sees partners become jealous and controling? In which case, is not very cool at all.

[BrassFusion]

I guess the kind of obsessiveness that is under discussion is the sort that sees partners become jealous and controling? In which case, is not very cool at all.

Not even. I've never had guys be overly jealous of me (prolly cuz I'm loyal anyway, I guess), and any that tried to control me wouldn't have a very long lifespan.

I HATE obsequious guys. When a guy does everything for you, plans his life around yours, never dissents, it's dishonest, in a way. It makes you wonder if he's really happy in the relationship.

[Zenji]

Finding that harmonious balance is often quite difficult, especially if you're the type who secretly enjoys the hardship of relationships.

Then sometimes you just end up with that person who takes and takes no matter what you give and always wants more. You kow, the type that's never satisfied *no matter what*.

I don't know, I think I'd rather be in an uncomfortable relationship and bitch the whole time as opposed to being alone. Of course now that I *am* alone I've got that sense of relief, of calm. But then there's nothing to bitch about. I hope I don't become petty like some folks....

I think the real question here is about what people will put up with to feel important. Just how much will you suffer through JUST to be with someone. Does it even matter who that someone is as long as you're occupied? I mean, I don't often get the feeling that out there somewhere someone needs me, it's simple, I'm sure there's someone, *anyone* out there who's time I could occupy and vice-versa. What it all comes down to now is, what am I willing to put up with to be with that person?

Unfortunatley it's when we ask those questions and try to stick to our answers that we get unfocused from the occasional true passion. (I didn't say love mind you because there's no such thing). But there's no reason not to share true passion with someone, even someone you don't even know if circumstances permit. At what point is this passion overcome by some socialogical urge to make people think the word "love" means something?

[glc]

Werd.

I used to be the sort of person that would stick with a relationship if it was 51% good and 49% bad, up until about a month ago. I would rather be in a crap relationship than be single, I guess I was scared of being single. But like you, now that I am, I'm kind of geting used to it despite the things that I miss.

I'm a bit affraid now that when I get into another relationship that I won't put up with the hardships to make it work, although technically there shouldn't be any hardships right? But when does that ever happen?

I'm not going to speculate about what is or isn't going to happen in the future, because I can't predict who I'm going to be with or what its going to be like, I'll just see what happens when we get there!

[Steven]

the comment about being treated only the way you allow yourself to be treated - I think I just have a tendency to be too nice I guess... I think I just need to learn to be a bitch... but only in the sense of drawing boundries - there's this book I've been reading called "Why Men Love Bitches" - does open my eyes to alot of things

Hey - throw that stupid book away.

Men do NOT love bitches.

Pussies however, are dominated by Bitches, who are bitches, because they are frustrated that their men are not respectable enough to warrant appropriate address.

And if your being walked upon, that's not being too "nice".

That's being fearful, and lessening yourself.

Understand and radiate yrou won worth, and dont date dumbasses, children, stingy fuckers and control freaks and you ought to be pretty much ok. It really is NOT such a vague science.

[Steven]

I'm pretty sure that goes for women liking men, too. I HATE obsequious guys. When a guy does everything for you, plans his life around yours, never dissents, it's dishonest, in a way. It makes you wonder if he's really happy in the relationship.

Very good Brass, methinks your onto something here...(yes its dishonest)

[Zenji]

I like bitches.

It's the same Good Girls always want the Bad Guys scenario.

Or the Captain Save-a-Ho scenario where a decent guy wants to take care of the hoodrat girl or how little miss good girl wants the thug.

Sometimes we're just attracted uncontrollably to the things we don't have to the point that we'll accept whatever comes our way until we know better. Sometimes it even works if you've been with bitch after bitch. You already know what to expect so you can block off your emotions to those certain things because you *know* they'll come up again. It's a trap though.

That's why we tend to keep dating the same personality type that drives us crazy over and over again. We get way too cocky in thinking "I've done this before, I know how to handle it" then you get fucked over again and again, usually in the same way. I know I have.

Despite my own experiences with this I tend to look for the same personality type cux that's the only thing I know. I know how to make it work and I know how it's gonna kill me in the end. Sometimes it's just easier knowing how you're going to end your relationship and why, so we tend to keep pushing towards that until it happens then we say, "Ha! I knew it!" But it doesn't change what happens and it still sucks every time.

I'm real big on astrology, but it seems that every "type" that I'm compatible with is someone I would NOT want to date or be with. Yet I can't seem to be happy with anyone else so I suffer for the sake of comfortability mixed with catastrophe.

Sometimes I think we just need to date someone that we'd *never* ever consider dating before. Not so much just a random thing, but more of a, "they're not my type, and I may not be theirs, but it's worth a try." This present not only a circumstance of exploration and learning but also possibly of uncomfortable calm. Sometimes an uncomfortable calm can get us by for a while until we start to crave the comfortable catastrophe that we enjoy so much.

[Onyx]

Hey - throw that stupid book away.

Men do NOT love bitches.

Pussies however, are dominated by Bitches, who are bitches, because they are frustrated that their men are not respectable enough to warrant appropriate address.

And if your being walked upon, that's not being too "nice".

That's being fearful, and lessening yourself.

Understand and radiate yrou won worth, and dont date dumbasses, children, stingy fuckers and control freaks and you ought to be pretty much ok. It really is NOT such a vague science.

Actually the title of the book is very misleading.

You should read it first before judging it. It's just a marketing ploy and not about the bitches you think it is

I bought it out of curiosity and although I don't agree with everything it says, it's really more about self-respect than being a bitch. It's the same advice you just gave but in a different package.

[glc]

I'm real big on astrology, but it seems that every "type" that I'm compatible with is someone I would NOT want to date or be with. Yet I can't seem to be happy with anyone else so I suffer for the sake of comfortability mixed with catastrophe.

My ex was big on astrology, I think that she was so convinced that what she read was going to happen that she made it happen, without trying to avoid it or change it.

[creatureofthenyte]

I believe what Im thinking, ties into alot of what has been said about this topic.

I think that a relationship starts to become unhealthy when it becomes a situation where it becomes All gf All the time(in the case of a guy) or All bf all the time(in the case of a girl).

I think there maybe a fine line between obsessiveness, and unbridled passion.

You have to do your best to keep that line visible, cuz if it starts to blur, things could get hairy in a hurry.

I've also tried to do an examination of myself to find out why I seem to have had the phrase "I love psychos" written across my forehead, in invisible ink, yet visible to the women Ive dated.

The result was a decision to be way more careful about who I choose to involve myself with.

Rushing is bad.

It really helps to take the time to get to know someone, which incidently can be very fun.

It can also spare ya from a possible impending train wreck later on. Astrology, I dunno where I stand on that.

I would read it, but not take it as the gospel truth or as a guidebook by any means.

To me, its fun to see how much of a person's personality matches up to what the characteristics of their sign is.

I'm a Gemini, btw.

Relationships are a series of choices.

How the relationship goes is a direct result of the choices that are made during it.

Like the choice of saying something or not, or saying something a certain way, or not. I think thats something that people should be conscious of.

I don't love bitches.

Girls who look good, and know it, and use that to take advantage of, or use guys....that's not cool.

My kind of woman is someone who will treat me as good as I treat her.

Chemisty is important too.

Physical attraction is important as well, but it is only Part of the deal; not the whole thing.

If I met someone, and I have in the past, that cooks/cleans for me, she can rest assured I'm gonna return the favor bigtime.

If you take, then you should give back equally as much.

(sorry for the book-length response, I got carried away).

[GreggZero]

'Sup

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

"Why Men Love Bitches" is essensially just about not being a doormat, ya know? and as far as moving out of state for someone, I guess it would depend on the person and the relationship - I guess I just have bad luck with relationships

[Msterbeau]

"Why Men Love Bitches" is essensially just about not being a doormat, ya know? and as far as moving out of state for someone, I guess it would depend on the person and the relationship - I guess I just have bad luck with relationships

You're only 23... give it time. Everyone wants their soulmate to show up when they're young. What are the odds that that would happen for everyone at the same age? I'm 40 and still figuring out this relationship gig... but I have a lot more experiences to draw on now.

[Dubh Aingeal]

they are also insecure, whiney and needy.

I am so not whiney or needy...

[Steven]

Actually the title of the book is very misleading.

You should read it first before judging it. It's just a marketing ploy and not about the bitches you think it is

I bought it out of curiosity and although I don't agree with everything it says, it's really more about self-respect than being a bitch. It's the same advice you just gave but in a different package.

stop bitching at me bitch

[Steven]

by the way Onyx you know I was kidding......

[Onyx]

stop bitching at me bitch

[Head Wreck]

i'm 24 (fuck i'm getting old) and still waiting for a decent woman in my life.

area is full of bitches, i dont want or need that hence no woman on the scene in 4 years.

dont become another bitch, just hold out a little longer

[GOREgeouslyDecorated]

I'm not looking for a soul mate... I just want someone I can share my spare time with that isn't needy or insecure... and looks generally mean nothing to me - I feel there has to be SOME sort of attraction, but generally looks dont factor into who I date (ask my ex's they'll tell you) - weather or not they're good looking means nothing - they all treat me like shit - and I DO love women just as well, but there in lies the problem that women are back stabbing, moody, bitchy, insecure, annoying.... the list goes on - how not all guys are assholes, not all women are back stabbing bitches... it's just VERY rare for me to come accross the good ones, ya know?

[BrassFusion]

I'm a total opinionated bitch as most of you know, I can be callous and arrogant and pretentious, but I maintain that I can make the best damn girlfriend in the world. It's happened before.

It's not gonna happen again till I meet someone worthy of it.

And I didn't alter my lifestyle to be more or less bitchy to attract guys. I'm just lucky that I'm fucking awesome.

[Draco1958]

i'm 24 (fuck i'm getting old) and still waiting for a decent woman in my life.

area is full of bitches, i dont want or need that hence no woman on the scene in 4 years.

dont become another bitch, just hold out a little longer

49 here and looking however I can honestly say I have met some very nice ladies from this site at CC so I know there is hope.

[DarkVampire]

I'm 30 something an still looking.

Looks like we ned to do some matches here.

[Head Wreck]

it comes when it comes, if it doesent, i'm honestly not that bothered any more.

[torn asunder]

it comes when it comes, if it doesent, i'm honestly not that bothered any more.

great attitude!! (and incidentally, that's about the time they show up!!)