Head Wreck Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white.. ============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... ============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I 'm not Bill Gates. ============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... ============== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. ============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. ============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's a nother one here. Ah...that one does work.. ============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? ============== Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. ============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer ============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? ============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer i s working fine." ============== And last but not least... Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
DarkVampire Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Reasons why I never got into tech support.
AntiHero Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 There are some days I wish I had a tech support job just so I could get a few laughs in. My brother in law works for ONstar and he has a few good ones.
Homicidalheathen Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 I hate dealing with the public too. Even if it does pay well sometimes....it isn't that they are stupid. They are people like us. Its that.....when they are paying for something....they think you owe them something. And they take advantage. They don't see you as a person on the other end of the line but a representation of a corporation they hate....and sometimes take it out on you. Or they are lazy...and think what the hell....I will call first instead of trying to figure this out on my own. Not realizing your swamped with calls and don't make that much money.
Hellion Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Reasons why I don't deal with the public. Amen to that Marc
n0Mad Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Reasons why I pee on my keyboard while under a window and in front of the monitor so my computer can see me doing it.
Der Nister Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Reasons why I don't deal with the public. *Agrees*
Brenda Starrr Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 It's just like when I'm wearing my apron at Ulta, which says in big white letters "ULTA." I inevitably get some fool who comes up to me and says "Do you work here?" I now just say "no" and look at them. Or, walk away. I shared these with my son yesterday, who is amazing with computers. We just rolled.....
Homicidalheathen Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 So your monitor is jeleous of the golden showers your keyboard is getting? Reasons why I pee on my keyboard while under a window and in front of the monitor so my computer can see me doing it.
n0Mad Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 So your monitor is jeleous of the golden showers your keyboard is getting? No, I don't have a lizard. Sorry, bad pun on the word "monitor" because you see ... oh never mind. Methinks it's not just my monitor who's jealous.
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