Nick Is... Also Lonely!

[Klaus]

I totally agree with the Lonely topic, I totally haven't been on a date in ages and it sucks being alone. I LOVE cooking, im not the cleanest person but i try, i love pleasing HER before myself. but still. Lately ive just wanted a companion, im not looking for sex, im not looking for a one night stand, i want long term and COMMITMENT! yet... i get overlooked someone explain why this is? should i just be out there looking for sex and only sex?

For the time being i have a whole house to myself, so in essence im living on my own, i drive a nice car. (well currently my cars in the shop so i have a rental, but its not bad, a blue Monte Carlo isn't that bad for a rental)

I want someone who will just be happy to hear from me when i call her at work

or someone who will be happy to come over when i offer to cook her a romantic dinner, but we dont have to come to my house, we could go out too if you just wanna be in public or something. i dont care, im up for anything!!

Maybe some of the females could offer some advice to a lonely guy?

EDIT

I HAD a date, but...

[21:56] teresa: we're going to need to talk.. but i have to figure out how im going to say what i need to say

[21:57] Nick: no probalem. say whatever you need to. im here to listen

[23:37] teresa: ok...

[23:38] Nick: ok

[23:39] teresa: so, i think its only right to tell you that I dont see this going any farther than friendship.

[23:40] Nick: i understand.

Thats the 3rd time in like 2 months... am i cursed or something?

[Klaus]

I agree. I totally agree. But you never know there is that off chance..... that SLIM like .00000001% chance...

at least i now have somewhere to post. its been so long since ive belonged to a forum. i miss it so.

[Der Nister]

Here's the truth Nick - take it or leave it if you will.

Women say they want nice guys (and on this board you'll hear the same thing) but - in the real world when you're dealing with women that aren't posting on message boards (no offense dgn ladies) what women really want is a challenge or - if you like - an asshole. Well, maybe asshole is too strong a word, they want a guy that is not gonna put up with any of their shit. And women can argue about it all they want but I've learned that being a nice guy gets you either stepped on or put in the friend depot. For me, when I stopped being so accommodating and told them how it was gonna be - I got better results. Call it what you will but - I am no longer unhappy.

So - until you figure out how it works you'll keep going in circles on this issue.

Good luck.

[The Kanuck]

See I would have to go against Der Nister's view there. I played the bad guy and all it got me was a few dates and some easy girls. Yea it was fun and all, but second I started being nice and all, it got me real women and most of all the one I am planning on being with the rest of my life. Maybe in the circles that Der stays in it is like that but I find it is easier to find real women (no offence to Der's lady friends) if you are nice.

Just my view. but if you are going to be the "asshole" don't go to far... I seen too many good guys go too far and well, end up behind bars bein the girlfriend.

Ciao, Jake.

[n0Mad]

It's not so much nice guy vs. asshole. Assholes will lose everytime. The real issue is confidence vs. pushover.

[Homicidalheathen]

Wow. You will get pounced on soon I am sure. Your stable, independant and love to cook?

Am I right ladies?

LOL!

(your not nuts.....are you?)

Heh.

[Klaus]

Wow. You will get pounced on soon I am sure. Your stable, independant and love to cook?

Am I right ladies?

LOL!

(your not nuts.....are you?)

Heh.

No, not to my knowledge im not nuts, im a little wierd, but who isnt? but nuts? no! and i am independent i do love to cook and im stable. poor, but stable

and damn i can cook a mean steak on the barbie

[BrassFusion]

Spook was right on. You don't have to be an asshole, you just have to be confident. Put your needs before anyone woman's, until you know for sure that someone else is ready to put YOUR needs before her own.

You have to know you're a catch before you truly are one, that is. And then it just takes patience. I know I'M a catch, but I haven't met the right guy for myself. Or haven't landed him yet, lol. But I'm happy being single, so being "lonely" isn't a problem.

[Klaus]

Well, Whatever happens in the end is okay. I'm here, making new friends, and thats kick ass.

[Der Nister]

See I would have to go against Der Nister's view there. I played the bad guy and all it got me was a few dates and some easy girls. Yea it was fun and all, but second I started being nice and all, it got me real women and most of all the one I am planning on being with the rest of my life. Maybe in the circles that Der stays in it is like that but I find it is easier to find real women (no offence to Der's lady friends) if you are nice.

Just my view. but if you are going to be the "asshole" don't go to far... I seen too many good guys go too far and well, end up behind bars bein the girlfriend.

Ciao, Jake.

Well, being an 'asshole' doesn't mean do something to get arrested for. It really just means - don't be a push over. Too many nice guys don't realize that being nice can be, and is often, perceived by a lot of women as not being strong.

Nothing could be further form the truth. Being nice does not equal being weak but rather it means you are a strong man. In one case of a former ex of mine had it in her head that because I was good to her that I was weak - until I had to show her different by standing my ground and ultimately - ending things with her because of her verbal abuse towards me.

Anyway Nick - I was really telling you to not be a push over even though I said it in a more frank manner and I can see it was misread by others.

[LuluVox]

Nothing could be further form the truth. Being nice does not equal being weak but rather it means you are a strong man.

Exactly. So instead of proffering the asshole mentality, why not try to show people this is so by being an example of it?

[Head Wreck]

assholes are well. an inch away from pussies.

couldnt resist.

got to ask yourself one thing. what do you really want? a short lived one way relationship? being a pussy or an asshole is the way to achieve this.

now a good relationship, the kind that lasts, takes strong people, strong to compromise, stroong enough not to be a pushover, but knowing when to see logic and be a pushover, when you need to. communication is also important, and pussies and assholes are bad at communication, either being a pussy, or being an asshole.

[torn asunder]

without a challenge/intrigue, in my experience, women get bored. i don't care how good you are to her, how nice, how well you treat her, no matter how good you are "on paper" so-to-speak, if there's no chemistry, it won't matter. the reason women like "jerks" is because they have a lot of characteristics that create attraction - confidence, independence, not being a pushover (as was mentioned) etc... the key to finding and keeping a woman (in my opinion) is to combine the best of both the nice guy and the jerk; confidence, playfulness, strength to stand for your own beliefs and not cave to her every whim, making firm decisions (with consideration of her thoughts/feelings)... and every so often, do something sweet/romantic for no apparent reason, and communicate!! best bet? in a nutshell, be a man, be in control of yourself, be fun/playful/unpredictable (treat her like your bratty kid sister -tease/pick on in a nice way), but in no way become a "wuss" (yes dear, whatever you say dear, i have no opinion, dear...) they hate that!!

[Hellion]

Here's the truth Nick - take it or leave it if you will.

Women say they want nice guys (and on this board you'll hear the same thing) but - in the real world when you're dealing with women that aren't posting on message boards (no offense dgn ladies) what women really want is a challenge or - if you like - an asshole. Well, maybe asshole is too strong a word, they want a guy that is not gonna put up with any of their shit. And women can argue about it all they want but I've learned that being a nice guy gets you either stepped on or put in the friend depot. For me, when I stopped being so accommodating and told them how it was gonna be - I got better results. Call it what you will but - I am no longer unhappy.

So - until you figure out how it works you'll keep going in circles on this issue.

Good luck.

They also like violent crimminals in prison,not you Der nister,your cool,I am talking about the scum that is in our society

[AntiHero]

They also like violent crimminals in prison

Personally I strive to at least find a somewhat balanced person. I wouldn't want a girl to walk all over me, and I wouldn't want her to put up with all of my shit either. Tragically all I see are the extremes. Punch and cuddle, or conniving, domineering, and power hungry. Whatever.

[Steven]

without a challenge/intrigue, in my experience, women get bored. i don't care how good you are to her, how nice, how well you treat her, no matter how good you are "on paper" so-to-speak, if there's no chemistry, it won't matter. the reason women like "jerks" is because they have a lot of characteristics that create attraction - confidence, independence, not being a pushover (as was mentioned) etc... the key to finding and keeping a woman (in my opinion) is to combine the best of both the nice guy and the jerk; confidence, playfulness, strength to stand for your own beliefs and not cave to her every whim, making firm decisions (with consideration of her thoughts/feelings)... and every so often, do something sweet/romantic for no apparent reason, and communicate!! best bet? in a nutshell, be a man, be in control of yourself, be fun/playful/unpredictable (treat her like your bratty kid sister -tease/pick on in a nice way), but in no way become a "wuss" (yes dear, whatever you say dear, i have no opinion, dear...) they hate that!!

well done.

[Steven]

Spook was right on. You don't have to be an asshole, you just have to be confident. Put your needs before anyone woman's, until you know for sure that someone else is ready to put YOUR needs before her own.

You have to know you're a catch before you truly are one, that is. And then it just takes patience. I know I'M a catch, but I haven't met the right guy for myself. Or haven't landed him yet, lol. But I'm happy being single, so being "lonely" isn't a problem.

Listen to this girl, she's on to something here....

[Der Nister]

All I can say here is, lots of people on dgn that swear up and down to be super nice people and turn around and complain about either being lonely or relationships not working out tells me that either A) they aren't telling the whole story or B) maybe aren't as nice as they profess to be.

Either way - I really don't care if others here want to misread my post. How any of you can equate asshole with being violent is beyond me but hey, ok. I have been here long enough and read lots of posts/threads by some of you and remember your situations/complaints. I won't go into details but - I know I'm closer to right than anyone will admit.

It's a total shot of luck that an actual nice person can find someone that will be smart and honest enough to appreciate them.

Example: I dated a women from here - treated her (in her words) better than she said she deserved and she admitted that she was a total bitch to me at times when I did nothing wrong.

Take it how you like but being nice even when you're a strong person still means it's possible to date someone that will treat you like shit.

I guess that's just life.

[BrassFusion]

I won't go into details but - I know I'm closer to right than anyone will admit.

You're wrong about one thing, and that is, you're right.

*brain explodes*

No, seriously, you're right.

[Gothmama25]

I totally agree with the Lonely topic, I totally haven't been on a date in ages and it sucks being alone. I LOVE cooking, im not the cleanest person but i try, i love pleasing HER before myself. but still. Lately ive just wanted a companion, im not looking for sex, im not looking for a one night stand, i want long term and COMMITMENT! yet... i get overlooked someone explain why this is? should i just be out there looking for sex and only sex?

For the time being i have a whole house to myself, so in essence im living on my own, i drive a nice car. (well currently my cars in the shop so i have a rental, but its not bad, a blue Monte Carlo isn't that bad for a rental)

I want someone who will just be happy to hear from me when i call her at work

or someone who will be happy to come over when i offer to cook her a romantic dinner, but we dont have to come to my house, we could go out too if you just wanna be in public or something. i dont care, im up for anything!!

Maybe some of the females could offer some advice to a lonely guy?

EDIT

I HAD a date, but...

[21:56] teresa: we're going to need to talk.. but i have to figure out how im going to say what i need to say

[21:57] Nick: no probalem. say whatever you need to. im here to listen

[23:37] teresa: ok...

[23:38] Nick: ok

[23:39] teresa: so, i think its only right to tell you that I dont see this going any farther than friendship.

[23:40] Nick: i understand.

Thats the 3rd time in like 2 months... am i cursed or something?

I haven't been on a date in ages either and am also looking for something longterm. Although every date that I have gone on I have had to pay for. I have never been on one where the guy paid.

[Klaus]

I haven't been on a date in ages either and am also looking for something longterm. Although every date that I have gone on I have had to pay for. I have never been on one where the guy paid.

Sadly i feel bad if i DON"T pay... lol

[BrassFusion]

Sadly i feel bad if i DON"T pay... lol

i'm the same way actually. i get all guilt-ridden about it.

[Klaus]

i'm the same way actually. i get all guilt-ridden about it.

Well i usually get the same, im just old fashioned where the guy picks her up, opens car doors and building doors for her, (plus opening her car door is that little tiny bit of extra exercise hehe) and most of all buys her dinner. and I'm not talking dollar menu at McDonald's, i mean a real restaurant like Olive garden or applebees, maybe even the neighborhood Chinese place fast food is for when your a couple and dont mind. or if its your favorite and you unanimously agree. yyou get my point. I'm old fashioned.

Picnics are kick ass too. especially on a warm spring day in the park.

[BrassFusion]

let's go on a picnic in the spring, you can drive if i can cook

[pharoh]

let's go on a picnic in the spring, you can drive if i can cook

Dood......trust me......let her drive and you cook :fear

lol j/k