Why So Much Negativity?

[Fierce Critter]

i have more to say on this but i tend to ramble and i don't want to make this another 9 paragraph post no one wants to read

I always read everything you have to post. I relate to a lot of things you have to say very often. And you're high up on the list of people whose opinion I actually take seriously.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I don't know if I come off as negative or not here. I usually try to keep things light and simple.

I know I've had some bad days.

But my negativity comes from a dark place.

I suppose I have a negative, angry, pessimistic tone to myself.

I am bitter.

Life hasn't always been glitter and shiney for me. As with a lot of poeple. To different degree's.

I guess you can say I am fed up?

But I am trying....being an optimist doesn't come easy to me. Never has. I suppose for every good thing that has happened to me, 2 - 3 even worse things follow right behind. I've learned to build up the wall to avoid dissapointment I suppose.

The phrase don't count your chickens screams at me.

But, I have learned to recognize these things, and must deal with them personally as if to have any peace or hope for my soul.

It is a daily struggle.

DAILY.

I am my own worst enemy.

People tell me this, and I know it.

Life is hard to deal with.

And when negativity is coming at you from all angles, it's real hard to be nice.

But I try.

Thats all I can do.....without getting walked on. You know?

There goes that wall again.

[kellygrrrrrl]

And Steven......

Thanks for that.....

You got some deep roots

[Steven]

And Steven......

Thanks for that.....

You got some deep roots

I feel sometimes, like my only way to fight back in this world is to refuse to allow it to rule my thoughts.

And the thing is that I DO see it ALL in terms of light versus darkness in a spiritual sense...

everyone has their stories, and their dark places, all of us.

I do come from a broken home, I have no memories of my mother ever being there when I was growing up, I cannot relate to the smell of cookies in the kitchen, but I know the sound of my fathers boots coming down the hall....

I am an abused child, I do know what it is like to taste my own blood and be barely able to walk from beatings and to have to hide black and green brusies from as far back as I can remember, before I could even ride a bicycle I remember this....and I also know what it is like for people to see it and do nothing....

I know what it is like to be religeously oppressed and fearful and fucked up in the head and taken advantage of

I know what it is like to be dirty - to be a liar, a theif, a throwaway, to be a hardcore addict face down in my own vomit, to be without a home and to sleep on couches, in playhouses, the park.....I know what its like to intentionally hurt others and to carry that with you or see the end result of what you've created, I have seen, been with and one of, the absolute dregs of society, I know what its like to be loathed, I know alot of the same things that alot of you all know personally as well. I am not unique in any of this. None of us are.

And because of that I also know what its like to feel hopeless, or trapped.

Like many of you do.

I do not beleive that God caused these things to come my way.

But I do beleive that he stayed his hand many times, with the exception of letting me die.

the problem with our pain is that along the way we learn to worship it, empower it, cleave to it because its OURS, we worked so hard with it that we are quite fearful of even considering that we could let go of it or even live without it. It becomes us. A false identity. A false Idol.

I believe that I am learning to be a certain kind of man, because I am learning to listen to another voice that promises me much more than the limitations that I understand. I know all about being scared, and hurt, anybody, everybody does that. But can I push beyond it?

And I know that do have an enemy, who likewise has worked very hard at keeping me distracted and broken, in order to keep me from hearing that voice. For fear that one day I may push beyond the current limitations that I understand.....

I had to choose. Faith, or fear. I had fear of incredible depths. Perhaps, because I was capable of faith of incredible depths. You can do many things, cross many boundries, negate many lies, stand again and again, touch many people, open many doors, heal many wounds, and walk in freedom with faith......once you understand it, you see that it is like a sword. And therefore I am not powerless, and so I will not speak that way, think that way, move that way. I am a bit of a rebel though, you have to be, to have faith.

what if we were not - the sum of our failures?

what if?????

[Onyx]

It human nature, when guilty of something, to pick out the parts that may be more forgivable. As in this case, where everyone is makeing thier excuses for not saying anything about your cat rather than address the larger issue.

Actually I did comment about the cat when she first posted about it.

There have been a lot of times lately though when I just don't have the time or energy to be posting much any more. I sometimes feel bad for not being supportive, but it takes nearly all my energy just to keep my own life going lately.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I don't blame god.

by any means.

I'm not the "Why God?" type.

I know why I feel that way.

I pwn it.

It's accepting my faults....it eats me...pride.

But I'm reluctantly swallowing you know.....

[Reaper]

I just blame it on Satan. He knows best.

[Hellion]

Things that can cause negativity

1.The Bush Administration fucking everything up in this country and the world.(The Patriot Act)

2.The media

3.Society

4.A tarnished economy,our govenor sux,IMO

5.Unemployment rate high,Been through that myself

6.Rights being taken away left and right.

7.Loss of a loved one,relative/friend

8.Stress

9.Cost of living going up faster than wages.

10.Stupid ass laws being passed.

11..Life in general,it just should'nt always be that way,nough said

[LuluVox]

It human nature, when guilty of something, to pick out the parts that may be more forgivable. As in this case, where everyone is makeing thier excuses for not saying anything about your cat rather than address the larger issue.

Not everyone made excuses.

[JaneDead]

I always read everything you have to post. I relate to a lot of things you have to say very often. And you're high up on the list of people whose opinion I actually take seriously.

ditto and ditto

[JaneDead]

It is a daily struggle.

DAILY.

I am my own worst enemy.

People tell me this, and I know it.

Life is hard to deal with.

And when negativity is coming at you from all angles, it's real hard to be nice.

But I try.

Thats all I can do.....without getting walked on. You know?

There goes that wall again.

oh i hear ya sister. that is me and then some lately!

i always crack up at that line in that lit song "It's no suprise to me I am my own worst enemy 'Cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me"

because that is me and i just have to laugh at myself for doing that to myself.

[Steven]

I don't blame god.

by any means.

I'm not the "Why God?" type.

I know why I feel that way.

I pwn it.

It's accepting my faults....it eats me...pride.

But I'm reluctantly swallowing you know.....

it doesent have to be God that we blame, but the fact that we blame at all.

and I beleive you when you say that you own your stuff.

so do I. But sometimes I dont. It gets to all of us.

and what is pride really but the flipside of fear????

[Steven]

But I am trying....being an optimist doesn't come easy to me. Never has. I suppose for every good thing that has happened to me, 2 - 3 even worse things follow right behind. I've learned to build up the wall to avoid dissapointment I suppose.

Thats all I can do.....without getting walked on. You know?

There goes that wall again.

I liked this.

optimism does not come easy to me either kelly.

or patience, or kindness, or lots of ideal things. Never has.

you hit it right on the head where you said you "LEARNED" to build that wall....thats exactly what I've been talking about, how we've been molded....

the wall doesent help much with not getting walked on though, because it also seperates you, and people find ways of coming thru, around, or under your wall.

and you should not be walked on, I agree with this.

therefore people need to recognize something in you, that makes you a bad walk on prospect.....

[Blackmail]

Things that can cause negativity

1.The Bush Administration fucking everything up in this country and the world.(The Patriot Act)

2.The media

3.Society

4.A tarnished economy,our govenor sux,IMO

5.Unemployment rate high,Been through that myself

6.Rights being taken away left and right.

7.Loss of a loved one,relative/friend

8.Stress

9.Cost of living going up faster than wages.

10.Stupid ass laws being passed.

11..Life in general,it just should'nt always be that way,nough said

Camille I am sorry about your cat, you never said anything to me privately and I never read your post on it, so here is my sympathy, I lost my father on December 21st, 2006. I lost my favorite pet rat Wendle 2 weeks later. I know how you feel, trust me.

But even if I did see it, I doubt I would have responded due to the patriot act and the media.

[machine]

Things that can cause negativity

1.The Bush Administration fucking everything up in this country and the world.(The Patriot Act)

2.The media

3.Society

4.A tarnished economy,our govenor sux,IMO

5.Unemployment rate high,Been through that myself

6.Rights being taken away left and right.

7.Loss of a loved one,relative/friend

8.Stress

9.Cost of living going up faster than wages.

10.Stupid ass laws being passed.

11..Life in general,it just should'nt always be that way,nough said

Is this a serious post?

[torn asunder]

Is this a serious post?

yep...

[Homicidalheathen]

I thought we were suppose to be all dark and gloomy cause its a goth board, but far be it from me to stick to tradition of any kind!