Is Everyone Replaceable?

[Onyx]

I'm speaking more of romantic relationships but this *could* apply to friendships. Not family though--that's another matter. People we choose.

Seems the first thing someone points out when a breakup happens is "there are plenty of fish in the sea". I do know that is true, but isn't anyone special, irreplaceable, unforgettable?

I guess I'd like to think that is true.

[torn asunder]

everyone is replaceable - even family, if they're dragging you down enough...

and i'm in no way kidding...

(well, let me clarify - nobody is indispensible - i think that expresses it better. it's impossible to "replace" anyone, really...)

[Onyx]

I suppose I'd like to think that a person (or I suppose I'm projecting here - me) could be so special that they are unforgettable and not replaceable by anyone else.

and now I have this song stuck in my head...

Unforgettable, that's what you are

Unforgettable though near or far

Like a song of love that clings to me

How the thought of you does things to me

Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way

And forever more, that's how you'll stay

That's why, darling, it's incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too

No never before

has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way

And forever more, that's how you'll stay

That's why, darling, it's incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too

aaarrrrghhhh

Is VDay over yet?

[bav]

I'm speaking more of romantic relationships but this *could* apply to friendships. Not family though--that's another matter. People we choose.

Seems the first thing someone points out when a breakup happens is "there are plenty of fish in the sea". I do know that is true, but isn't anyone special, irreplaceable, unforgettable?

I guess I'd like to think that is true.

Everyone is indeed a unique and beautiful snowflake. And I'd agree with the idea that everyone is special, irreplaceable, and unforgettable for who they are.

But the roles that people can play in your life isn't limited to the casting a specific individual for a lifetime. Sometimes it may turn out that way, and that's pretty neat. But over time they can change, you can change, your needs from the role they fit in for you change, etc. etc.

I really don't believe that anything in this world is static, especially people and interpersonal relationships.

[Onyx]

Very well said - much food for thought there Bav.

[LuluVox]

Some people are irreplaceable, but that doesn't mean you won't need to replace them anyway.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I'd like to think that Onyx, I really would.

But I agree with Torn.

I suppose I have been on both ends of the spectrum.

I have replaced people - and have been replaced.

Most recently, I have been replaced....as far as the whole BFF thing goes.

Its a tough concept....and not easy to swallow.

But, I've learned some things about myself, about other people, motives, Life, and how it goes on, etc.....in the process.

Don't make it any easier to deal with though.

[Steven]

of course there are people that are irreplaceable.

and there are people that are special.

and one of a kind.

we search for them, sometimes we find them or they find us or perhaps we even become them. It is possible after all, to re-create who you are...

and this applies to friendships as well.

[Steven]

I'd like to think that Onyx, I really would.

But I agree with Torn.

I suppose I have been on both ends of the spectrum.

I have replaced people - and have been replaced.

Most recently, I have been replaced....as far as the whole BFF thing goes.

Its a tough concept....and not easy to swallow.

But, I've learned some things about myself, about other people, motives, Life, and how it goes on, etc.....in the process.

Don't make it any easier to deal with though.

But thats the thing Kelly, who says you've REALLY been successfully replaced?

There's only one you. Yes you can love new friends and bring new people into your life (we've all done that) and become fulfilled in those relationships, but I think we tend to (or at least I do) continue to carry old ones within us wherever we go. That's why I only let certain people into my life, or into my inner circle. The ones I let in are the ones I'm fairly certain will affect me long term, the way I think, the things I consider, the way I look at things, I like that kind of challenge in a relationship. I think that's healthy.

[AstralCrux]

Those turning points in your life... was there someone there that really helped you see in a new way, or caused some deep change in your life. Those people, they may come and go from many peoples lives, but they are irreplacable for that moment in time. Sometimes there is a purpose...

[Steven]

PS:

I'm irreplaceable.

fucken A.

[torn asunder]

now that i think about it, i suppose you'd really have to define how you're using the word "replaceable", cuz i thought bav's reply was pretty good...

[kellygrrrrrl]

I know I'm irreplaceable.....

For sure Astral.....

Yeah....

There was purpose.

I choose to see it that way.

[Brenda Starrr]

According to a few people in different areas of my life, I'm irreplaceable. And it feels good to know that.

[kellygrrrrrl]

But thats the thing Kelly, who says you've REALLY been successfully replaced?

There's only one you. Yes you can love new friends and bring new people into your life (we've all done that) and become fulfilled in those relationships, but I think we tend to (or at least I do) continue to carry old ones within us wherever we go. That's why I only let certain people into my life, or into my inner circle. The ones I let in are the ones I'm fairly certain will affect me long term, the way I think, the things I consider, the way I look at things, I like that kind of challenge in a relationship. I think that's healthy.

I thought that challenge was healthy too....

Not this time or this person though.

[ManicQueen]

everyone is replaceable - even family, if they're dragging you down enough...

I have to agree 100% on this one.

Although, everyone isn't forgettable. That's totally different. You can very easily "replace" someone but your memories of them will always be there. That's how I see it anyway.

[JaneDead]

people are not replaceable.

every person i have ever dated had a special place in my life and even though we broke up and moved on, a new person coming into my life did not "replace" them. it was a new relationship, new person, new experience.

people come and go from your life but another person can not ever replace what they meant to your life, good or bad. you might find someone better suited for you than the relationship prior to it but still does not mean you have replaced them. you have just found someone who is a better fit.

[Guest Megalicious]

Nope. My son is irreplaceable. But I do agree with Torn, in the friendship/romantic sense. If they are draging you down ... you better off without them.

[Brenda Starrr]

Nope. My son is irreplaceable. But I do agree with Torn, in the friendship/romantic sense. If they are draging you down ... you better off without them.

Word.

[Steven]

Nope. My son is irreplaceable. But I do agree with Torn, in the friendship/romantic sense. If they are draging you down ... you better off without them.

but thats not a replacement, its a jettisoning of a bad element. its an ending. someone new is someone new.

lets see how do I exemplify this...?

Um, I've been in love a few times, rather passionately.

every one of them was completely different from one another in just about every way.

nobody took the place of anybody else. every relational dynamic was completely different.

I didint find a "better fit". it doesent really work that way.

ok screw that. this one's better.

I used to have some bitchen snake skin cowboy boots.

I miss those fucking boots, they were with me in so many different places and adventures fo many years, since I was a kid.

then I bought Harley Boots. I love my harley boots.

but they could never replace my beloved snakeskinners.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Nope. My son is irreplaceable. But I do agree with Torn, in the friendship/romantic sense. If they are draging you down ... you better off without them.

For sure.

[Steven]

I thought that challenge was healthy too....

Not this time or this person though.

I understand what your saying.

but I still dont think that you've been replaced.

[JaneDead]

i guess you are right - a new person is not necessarily a 'better fit' but usually when you are with someone and it doesn't work out you move on and on until you find someone who does work out for you so in that way i guess that is why i think 'better fit' or rather they compliment you. because i have often moved on to new people that were not a good fit for me at all it's more important to find someone who compliments and brings out the best in you not the worst.

but either way - i will never ever think of any person as replaceable. ex-boyfriends, friends that grew apart from me, friends i've had a falling out with; none of them could or would be replaced by another person coming into my life. no one can take their place. and i wouldn't want them to.

[Guest Megalicious]

its an ending. someone new is someone new.

Thats very true Steven, good point.

[Steven]

i guess you are right - a new person is not necessarily a 'better fit' but usually when you are with someone and it doesn't work out you move on and on until you find someone who does work out for you so in that way i guess that is why i think 'better fit' or rather they compliment you. because i have often moved on to new people that were not a good fit for me at all it's more important to find someone who compliments and brings out the best in you not the worst.

but either way - i will never ever think of any person as replaceable. ex-boyfriends, friends that grew apart from me, friends i've had a falling out with; none of them could or would be replaced by another person coming into my life. no one can take their place. and i wouldn't want them to.

your getting it now.

for me, one day I was in love and so was she and we had no tools and it fell apart.

once again (and again) I was in love and so was another she and we had no tools and it fell apart.

and then one day I was in love and so was she and it fell apart like the other ones did only this time me and she decided to go get some tools. And here we are today.