Is Everyone Replaceable?

[Guest Megalicious]

Seems the first thing someone points out when a breakup happens is "there are plenty of fish in the sea". I do know that is true, but isn't anyone special, irreplaceable, unforgettable?

Alot of people are irreplaceable, if they weren't we would be a bunch of sad, lonely, emotionless, and empty people.

People leave marks on us if we are aware of it not. Thats what makes us learn, fee empathy (hell feel at all)l, , connect, love, hate, envy, think, rationalize .... from interaction, and deep connections with other people. That what makes us who we are.

[Msterbeau]

People are replaceable in the sense that the role they fulfill in your life might be taken by someone else. But I think everyone that comes into your life, has an influence on it, and in that way, they are irreplaceable.

People are also irreplaceable because all life is precious and useful in some way. Even Phee.

[Gaf The Horse With Tears]

I didn't read other peoples responses. No offense to anyone, but they dont matter. This is a question that only you can answer.

but what you really want to know is.. are you, Onyx, replaceable. No, your not. You are the only you there is. I saw a picture of you years ago on a usenet group. Then I saw you here and recognized you right away. You stuck. Though not a large impact in my life.. even that little bit stuck. And if for what ever reason, you never posted here again... we would all remember you.

[Blackmail]

This is a very good topic and one that has several layers to it. Thanks Onyx. I have several thoughts running thru my head but ultimately I came up with this: I am not a parent but if I was I assume a loss of a child would leave a hole in my life that could not be filled by anyone or anything else, thus a child is irreplacable. As for romance, it al depends on how strong you are emotionally and mentally. There are special romance partners, but there is more than one special person in the world.

[glc]

What is seems that you are tapping into here, is the idea of "The One"?

At least in a romantic sense, The One being your one true irreplaceable partner.

I used to be a believer in the idea of "The One", but now I don't know.

I've fallen in love a few times, and almost got engaged once, and these are people that definitely can not be replaced. All have their individual traits that I miss, and that I will not likely find in any other person.

I don't think that there is one person out there who is my "one", the ultimate person who will share a perfect relationship with me. The whole Idea behind being a human being doesn't support this, and over time relationships change, people change, and I guess you are damn lucky if these changes are in sync. People seem to be caught wanting, and then find another person that offers them whatever emotions that they are craving at that moment.

So are people replaceable? NO. Never. People are different, and people change.

[kellygrrrrrl]

i guess you are right - a new person is not necessarily a 'better fit' but usually when you are with someone and it doesn't work out you move on and on until you find someone who does work out for you so in that way i guess that is why i think 'better fit' or rather they compliment you. because i have often moved on to new people that were not a good fit for me at all it's more important to find someone who compliments and brings out the best in you not the worst.

but either way - i will never ever think of any person as replaceable. ex-boyfriends, friends that grew apart from me, friends i've had a falling out with; none of them could or would be replaced by another person coming into my life. no one can take their place. and i wouldn't want them to.

I like this alot....

Thatks Jane.....

Yer so smert.

[Steven]

What is seems that you are tapping into here, is the idea of "The One"?

At least in a romantic sense, The One being your one true irreplaceable partner.

I used to be a believer in the idea of "The One", but now I don't know.

I've fallen in love a few times, and almost got engaged once, and these are people that definitely can not be replaced. All have their individual traits that I miss, and that I will not likely find in any other person.

I don't think that there is one person out there who is my "one", the ultimate person who will share a perfect relationship with me. The whole Idea behind being a human being doesn't support this, and over time relationships change, people change, and I guess you are damn lucky if these changes are in sync. People seem to be caught wanting, and then find another person that offers them whatever emotions that they are craving at that moment.

So are people replaceable? NO. Never. People are different, and people change.

this is what I meant by having "tools".

yes people and circumstances change, thats inevitable.

so you accquire (hopefully) the skillsets to roll with it and keep the relationship healthy.

in that regard, then yes there will be that "ideal" person (Laura) who is devoted to the relationship enough to grow with you, to be challanged alongside of you. Sometimes that comes with age and experience, sometimes it never comes at all, or it comes too late. People get it all mixed up, in terms of how it works and waht to do about it. Twice I've had past relationships pursue me even several years into my marriage, and both times these ladies told me "I was the one" ... and both of them knew me as deeply as Laura did.

...but I wasent really was I? Had I been then we'd have done our ditch digging the first time around.

the "one" is the one who gets it done.

[glc]

the "one" is the one who gets it done.

I like it! So true.

[Homicidalheathen]

Depends on my mood. Yah, my friends.....lovers......significant others piss me off sometimes......and yah I think its a huge world out there I maybe I should just sometimes........crawl in a hole, hide.....wait awhile.....and go back out hunting for new connections again but......

Its work building a relationship.....

Time wasted.

Not just that but even though people make me mad at times with their actions, I cannot forget the good times...the things maybe they have done for me. The fact we hit it off so good in the first place means there was a connection there that was ment to be.

So I like to think I am a hard ass who can just say.....eh......I am so sick of your actions I am just going to walk away.....and maybe I do for awhile......but.....

The true connections, well I always come back to them. Maybe its something we have in common.....but its usually a spiritual connection.....times spent together I cannot forget. Things they do that make me like them in the first place.

The hardest thing is when one moves and you can't see them anymore. Its more like your forced to give them up. Usually because of job or family obligations....and that is always heartbreaking.

But people who are there for me when I am down, I try to stick around and do the same for them.

[BrassFusion]

Short answer: Yes. Everyone is replaceable except you.

Long answer: Everyone is replaceable except you, and your children, who aren't "replaceable" for instinctual reasons, which are of course valid. Of course you could always have more kids if you lost one, but it would be bad for the species if we had that mindset when it came to our own brood.

[Steven]

Short answer: Yes. Everyone is replaceable except you.

Long answer: Everyone is replaceable except you, and your children, who aren't "replaceable" for instinctual reasons, which are of course valid. Of course you could always have more kids if you lost one, but it would be bad for the species if we had that mindset when it came to our own brood.

ahhh youth...how sweet it is.

[BrassFusion]

ahhh youth...how sweet it is.

and here i thought youngin's like me were generally less realistic...

"I'm gonna fall in love once and for always and if something bad happens to that person, imma DIE right by their side, omg lol!!"

or:

"Imma be a rock star because even though I maybe don't have natural talent or connections, I have HEART and everybody will realize it immediately and i'll get my recording contract as a reward omg lol myspace.com!"

BUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Moral: Everyone is replaceable, even you, to other people. The only person you're stuck with forever is yourself, and your children, should you have them.

thank you.

[Msterbeau]

Moral: Everyone is replaceable, even you, to other people. The only person you're stuck with forever is yourself, and your children, should you have them.

thank you.

You aren't "stuck" even with your kids. They may be blood relatives, but they can be cut from your life as well. I personally can't ever imagine doing that to mine, but I'm sure others have, for whatever reason.

That said... can they really be replaced? Even if they do the most heinous act ever, you've built emotional connections to them that will never be severed completely. Even negative emotions have attachments.

[Belle Morte]

I would have to say that noone is replaceable. Everyone that I have ever been close to holds a place in my heart that can not be filled by anyone else. No matter what comes in the future I know that I might feel strongly for someone, but they cant replace or delete what I felt for another person.

[torn asunder]

it's funny - i've been thinking today about how replaceable i feel... wonder what that indicates!?

[Onyx]

Well, I'll tell you right now, I'm irreplaceable and unforgettable and one of a kind, dammit!

I don't want realistic and I don't want practical. I want a love that will last for eternity, a love that won't allow anyone else to take my place in one's heart, a crazy, insane, I can't live without you and I'm going down with the Titantic just to be with you for all eternity kind of love.

*skips off down the yellow brick road*

[BrassFusion]

That said... can they really be replaced? Even if they do the most heinous act ever, you've built emotional connections to them that will never be severed completely. Even negative emotions have attachments.

exactly!

i haven't had kids yet, but no matter how monstrous they might turn out, i bet that's what would happen with me.

and all this conversation rides on the definition of "replaceable."

by saying that everyone is replaceable, i'm not saying y'all are forgettable. no way. but if some engineered disease wiped out everyone on dgn and my whole family and the guy i'm dating and all my colleagues and all my friends, i'd be bummed as hell, but life would go on. i would never forget everyone, but i'd probably come to terms with it in a couple years. like i'd expect anyone to get over my death.

cept my parents. they might have a harder time dealing with it.

and onyx:

i DEFINITELY want that. in my brain i know it's not gonna happen, but my heart won't give up on it. i'm stupid like that.

[pomba gira]

Everyone is indeed a unique and beautiful snowflake. And I'd agree with the idea that everyone is special, irreplaceable, and unforgettable for who they are.

But the roles that people can play in your life isn't limited to the casting a specific individual for a lifetime. Sometimes it may turn out that way, and that's pretty neat. But over time they can change, you can change, your needs from the role they fit in for you change, etc. etc.

I really don't believe that anything in this world is static, especially people and interpersonal relationships.

Pretty much what I was thinking, only much better and more succinctly stated.

[Steven]

and onyx:

i DEFINITELY want that. in my brain i know it's not gonna happen, but my heart won't give up on it. i'm stupid like that.

this is why I dig on you.

despite all that linear processing you do you still have much hope.....

[Homicidalheathen]

After raising kids that were not his......and taking care of me when I almost died, twice.......I can say, no he is not replacable. And even if we were to break up.....I would remain his friend.

[Steven]

and here i thought youngin's like me were generally less realistic...

"I'm gonna fall in love once and for always and if something bad happens to that person, imma DIE right by their side, omg lol!!"

or:

"Imma be a rock star because even though I maybe don't have natural talent or connections, I have HEART and everybody will realize it immediately and i'll get my recording contract as a reward omg lol myspace.com!"

BUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Moral: Everyone is replaceable, even you, to other people. The only person you're stuck with forever is yourself, and your children, should you have them.

thank you.

this was a good one, I liked it.

A) nowadays the youth is more prone to cynicism than ever before, so I dont know that your description above applies but it was very colorful.

B) your cracking me up even more with the Rock Star schpiel. That bit of dreaminess usually wears down after a few years of rock and roll ditch digging. But when I become a rock star I'll let you hang backstage.

C) you'd miss me terribly should I get hit by a cab and die, and all these other posers would bore you by comparison and when no one was looking you'd sneak into church and light a candle for me.

[Vampyro]

I do not believ anyone is replaceable, or anything for that matter. People come and go in life, such as you come and go in other's lives. Everything that has a begining, has an end, the only things that are infinite are time and space, and even then, they're only infinite to the best of our knowledge...

However, do not feel as if you were "replaced" when a friendship, or a love ends... It was going to, even marrige has an end, the whole vow, "Until Death do us part"

Once it ends, all you have are memories, and that Is a valuable thing to have, think back and remember all the good times and bad times, and just how it influenced your path of life. Everyone who has come into your life, has come into your life for a reason. Ideally, you and the other person both will bennefit eachother's path in life for the better. If I had not met some people, my life would not have improoved. Even the ones that have done me harm, in the long run have helped for there's always a valuable lesson to be learned from every experience that can aid you throughout the rest of your life.

The times you spent with someone are irreplacible, no one can ever take that persons spot for the time they were with you. Sit back, take a sigh of releif, and let a weight lift off your shoulders as you find the reasons why you have gained a bennefit from the temporary encounter.

[Fierce Critter]

There are things in my life that will always be attached to certain people.

In that way, these people are "irreplaceable".

Could I go on and find someone else if I were to lose Jon in some way? Sure.

Would I want to? Maybe not.

I think replaceability is partially based on how much one wants to replace someone.

And I don't think you can answer that one until you are in the situation. "I used to go fishing with Jon all the time, and now that he's gone, Tom wants to go fishing with me. I love Tom, but..."

See what I mean?

[BrassFusion]

this was a good one, I liked it.

A) nowadays the youth is more prone to cynicism than ever before, so I dont know that your description above applies but it was very colorful.

B) your cracking me up even more with the Rock Star schpiel. That bit of dreaminess usually wears down after a few years of rock and roll ditch digging. But when I become a rock star I'll let you hang backstage.

C) you'd miss me terribly should I get hit by a cab and die, and all these other posers would bore you by comparison and when no one was looking you'd sneak into church and light a candle for me.

A = gotta disagree. it seems like everyone i know my age thinks they're top shit and the world turns only for them. myself included

B = lolzerz

C = true

[pomba gira]

I do not believ anyone is replaceable, or anything for that matter. People come and go in life, such as you come and go in other's lives. Everything that has a begining, has an end, the only things that are infinite are time and space, and even then, they're only infinite to the best of our knowledge...

However, do not feel as if you were "replaced" when a friendship, or a love ends... It was going to, even marrige has an end, the whole vow, "Until Death do us part"

Once it ends, all you have are memories, and that Is a valuable thing to have, think back and remember all the good times and bad times, and just how it influenced your path of life. Everyone who has come into your life, has come into your life for a reason. Ideally, you and the other person both will bennefit eachother's path in life for the better. If I had not met some people, my life would not have improoved. Even the ones that have done me harm, in the long run have helped for there's always a valuable lesson to be learned from every experience that can aid you throughout the rest of your life.

The times you spent with someone are irreplacible, no one can ever take that persons spot for the time they were with you. Sit back, take a sigh of releif, and let a weight lift off your shoulders as you find the reasons why you have gained a bennefit from the temporary encounter.

yup.

My second marriage was very different from my first, and my relationship with Tokagemaru is very different from both. In no way was Estranged Hubby Rick a "replacement" for Charming Billee, nor is T. a replacement for EHR. Which is not to say they don't hold similar positions of importance in my life but... they are not replacements for each other.