A-sexual Humans

[machine]

Ok, after being on this board only a few shorts weeks, it's evident that there are a few people here that understand relationships, etc etc.. but see if you can figure this out for me.

For the last 4 months, I have had absolutly no interest in women (or men, I'm straight). I have not wanted to date, talk to any for more than a few moments... I could care less about sex, or anything like that. I am just content being by myself.

Is their something wrong? Shouldn't I at least want to possibly talk to women or something... maybe even possibly date? When at the bar with "the guys" I don't even look around to even observe some good looking girls they call out.. I just sit there and drink my beer and be content. Or is this fine..

My only ideas as to a cause is stress, but it's not THAT bad...

WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

Thanks.

[bean]

There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone's drive is different. It's been programmed into people's heads that we should want to be with someone all the time. That we have to be in a relationship...have to want someone..and so on.

Stress can definitely change things, or maybe you are just at a point in your life where you want to be by yourself.

Forget for a moment whether or not your feelings are "normal." Are you okay with what is going on? You stated that you are content. Be content with being content.

The important thing is that you are okay with how things are. Fuck what is "normal." Who defines that shit anyway?

[BrassFusion]

If I were in your position I'd be celebrating somehow. I mean... you can get SO much done when you don't have to worry about catering to the needs of some bitch(es).

Plus, no pregnancy scares.

No menses.

Freedom.

[jane dazzle]

Nothing wrong wih that at all.

[kellygrrrrrl]

If you feel yourself breaking out of this mold, maybe start to get out, and "look"

Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with that!

[sass_in_the_pants]

That sounds perfectly healthy to me. Enjoy!

[Scary Guy]

Ok, after being on this board only a few shorts weeks, it's evident that there are a few people here that understand relationships, etc etc.. but see if you can figure this out for me.

For the last 4 months, I have had absolutely no interest in women (or men, I'm straight). I have not wanted to date, talk to any for more than a few moments... I could care less about sex, or anything like that. I am just content being by myself.

Is their something wrong? Shouldn't I at least want to possibly talk to women or something... maybe even possibly date? When at the bar with "the guys" I don't even look around to even observe some good looking girls they call out.. I just sit there and drink my beer and be content. Or is this fine..

My only ideas as to a cause is stress, but it's not THAT bad...

WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

Thanks.

I envy you so badly :(

[Msterbeau]

If it was going on for years, I would be a little concerned. Four months? Nah...

Curious... What happened four months ago that you came into this frame of mind?

[Homicidalheathen]

Nothing wrong with it. I go through that myself. However, its usually because of something. Maybe I am too busy.....tired....stressed or....

You go through a break up and it just takes the wind out of you.

To not be horny or wanting love might actually be nice for a change. It always gets me into trouble.

[the eternal]

You are in a position few are in.

People either:

1. Emotionally can't stop looking when they should be just content like you for awhile.

2. They feel compelled to be in a relationship, whether they're ready or not.

I personally don't have a clue what its like to be alone, because once I'm available, the bat call goes out.

That can be dangerous, and I've been with some scary manipulative people.

I'm very lucky to have someone like Bean.

[torn asunder]

Ok, after being on this board only a few shorts weeks, it's evident that there are a few people here that understand relationships, etc etc.. but see if you can figure this out for me.

For the last 4 months, I have had absolutly no interest in women (or men, I'm straight). I have not wanted to date, talk to any for more than a few moments... I could care less about sex, or anything like that. I am just content being by myself.

Is their something wrong? Shouldn't I at least want to possibly talk to women or something... maybe even possibly date? When at the bar with "the guys" I don't even look around to even observe some good looking girls they call out.. I just sit there and drink my beer and be content. Or is this fine..

My only ideas as to a cause is stress, but it's not THAT bad...

WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

Thanks.

i didn't read any other responses, but i was like that for three years after a breakup - clinical depression, they told me... (of course, it was a lot more than just the breakup - straw & camel, yanno...) true, some people are asexual, but if you used to be interested, i'd bet it'll come back after a bit...

[Fierce Critter]

I thought I was asexual pretty much my entire life.

Then I went on Wellbutrin earlier this year. Holy crap - LIBIDO!!!!

Maybe you're just in a blue period. The above all sound good to me - you'll more than likely snap out of it in time.

[Head Wreck]

past few years i've been in no hurry to get into anything with anyone of the opposite sex, though i still appreciate a good looking woman when i see one

[pomba gira]

There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone's drive is different. It's been programmed into people's heads that we should want to be with someone all the time. That we have to be in a relationship...have to want someone..and so on.

Stress can definitely change things, or maybe you are just at a point in your life where you want to be by yourself.

Forget for a moment whether or not your feelings are "normal." Are you okay with what is going on? You stated that you are content. Be content with being content.

The important thing is that you are okay with how things are. Fuck what is "normal." Who defines that shit anyway?

I completely agree with Beanie. Men especially are socially programmed to think they always have to be chasing after women... but in truth, every guy is not in that mode all the time. Definitely think about whether this is really bothering you, or if you just think it should be 'cos it's not "normal". Sounds like the latter to me. We all go through different phases in life- seems that now is a more solitary, introspective phase in your personal cycle. Enjoy it, learn from it (you can gain some valuable insights by being able to just sit back and watch others from "above the fray"), and when it's time to move on to the next phase, you'll know it.

Depression was mentioned also- with depression the loss of interest in normal activities is usually global, not focused on a single life area. But of course everyone's different. If you find that you're no longer interested in anything you used to do, depression would definitely be a likely cause. But if it's just sexual/romantic matters, I doubt it's that.

For the record, I have always been a very sex-positive person but just ended 5 years of almost complete celibacy... and until the last year it didn't bother me at all. I just felt like there were other things I needed to put my energies into. I figured I would know when it was time for me to be "out there" again, and until then I wouldn't worry about it. That time finally did arrive, I recognized it, and... but that's another story.

[Homicidalheathen]

I hate guys that constantly chase after women.

I know someone that purposly didn't date for 7 yrs to have the mindset and energy to get ahead in life. And you know what? It worked. He is a success now who has the time and money for a family and friends.

If it is depression though then you need to work on that but there would be other signs like tiredness...sleeping patterns disruped....no interest in former hobbies.....that sort of thing.

Oh and if you are really worried about your libido......yoga makes ya horny.

I completely agree with Beanie. Men especially are socially programmed to think they always have to be chasing after women... but in truth, every guy is not in that mode all the time. Definitely think about whether this is really bothering you, or if you just think it should be 'cos it's not "normal". Sounds like the latter to me. We all go through different phases in life- seems that now is a more solitary, introspective phase in your personal cycle. Enjoy it, learn from it (you can gain some valuable insights by being able to just sit back and watch others from "above the fray"), and when it's time to move on to the next phase, you'll know it.

Depression was mentioned also- with depression the loss of interest in normal activities is usually global, not focused on a single life area. But of course everyone's different. If you find that you're no longer interested in anything you used to do, depression would definitely be a likely cause. But if it's just sexual/romantic matters, I doubt it's that.

For the record, I have always been a very sex-positive person but just ended 5 years of almost complete celibacy... and until the last year it didn't bother me at all. I just felt like there were other things I needed to put my energies into. I figured I would know when it was time for me to be "out there" again, and until then I wouldn't worry about it. That time finally did arrive, I recognized it, and... but that's another story.

[machine]

After reading these replys, a lot more things come to mind.. expically what you just mentioned Homicidal...

My sleeping pattern it totally off. I am usually up until almost 9. I can't fall asleep. I get home from work, sit on the computer and watch tv for what seems like hours.. I go out on the weekends every so often, but when I come home I am still hope very late.

I don't play guitar as much as I used to, but I think thats because I am sleeping in until I need to leave for work. There is a small money problem that has been on hand for... 4 months as well... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thanks for the help everyone.

[Steven]

I see your 82nd AA patch here (I was 101 FTCKY).

did you just get out of active duty? There were no wars during my tour, and my tour was hard. If you've been serving in recent years, I'm assuming your carrying alot around with you.

[machine]

Yea. just finished 4yrs and am contemplating an offer to re-up with bonuses etc etc..

It's on my mind, but I am not sure it's whats is bugging me.

[Rayne]

Sounds like classic signs of clinical depression. You might want to consult your healthcare provider.

[Homicidalheathen]

Thinking about taking a much needed break myself. Relationships and sex have been distracting me from practice, meditaion......working out and well.......I still am looking for a job but it will make that easier too.

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it does't go over a year. That might be depression or social anxiety of some sort.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh and btw, i had this problem too.....and once you correct your sleep patterns it helps allot.

Sleep deprivation makes the depression worse.

[machine]

Well it will be awhile before that happens I think.. I laid down at 3 hoping to take a 3 hour name. I woke up just after 11pm.

:/

[Steven]

Yea. just finished 4yrs and am contemplating an offer to re-up with bonuses etc etc..

It's on my mind, but I am not sure it's whats is bugging me.

your head is buggin you brutha....

its not neccessarily "normal" to drop someone in the middle fo the debacle that is iraq and then drop them off years later in front of Farmer Jack's and sy "ok, now go function, here is your new reality".

Rayne and HH are right.

you got stuff going on, and the sleep depravation turns into an evil catch 22 where yoau re nto balacned due to lack of sleep and you do not sleep because you are not balanced.....

I would look into getting some help, there is no shame in it, and what your doing (nothing but suffering???) is not working and therefore makes no sense.

by the way....why? why are you considering a new tour?

I'm not knocking you at all - I'm asking a straight question....what is your motivation in this?

[machine]

your head is buggin you brutha....

its not neccessarily "normal" to drop someone in the middle fo the debacle that is iraq and then drop them off years later in front of Farmer Jack's and sy "ok, now go function, here is your new reality".

Rayne and HH are right.

you got stuff going on, and the sleep depravation turns into an evil catch 22 where yoau re nto balacned due to lack of sleep and you do not sleep because you are not balanced.....

I would look into getting some help, there is no shame in it, and what your doing (nothing but suffering???) is not working and therefore makes no sense.

by the way....why? why are you considering a new tour?

I'm not knocking you at all - I'm asking a straight question....what is your motivation in this?

I have considered the help part. I think I just need time to collect my thoughts and stuff before I make any moves. I have been working alot of hours lately, and in doing so I have lost some "me" time.

I am not exactly sure why I want to go back ... other than I just feel it calling me... hard to explain. I have nothing against going back to Astan or Iraq... it's just the part about leaving here again and putting my family under the stress. I have alot of friends that are still in, and a few that are still over there. I almost feel a bit of guilt for them being there and I am safe at home... I don't mean to have a pity party for myself... thats not my aim... I just feel as though I am letting them down not being there.

[darkndeadly]

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I have been there myself. I think if you have had women/men screw you around enough you get turned off. I think it is our way of letting ourselves heal, so your mind doesn't have to go through any more games so it just shuts that part of you brain off for a while. When I am that way, I use the time to better myself........Put the time into you............D&D