Reconnection

[pomba gira]

Yesterday I talked to my longtime best friend with whom I've had no contact in over 6 years.

We met in college (early '80s) and were inseparable for years... even when we lived on opposite sides of the country we stayed close. She has three wild sisters and I was close to them too... was sometimes called the "fifth B..... sister" . Anyway... years went by... life went on with husbands for both, child for her... then when we both lived in the Detroit area in the late '90s her life started to unravel, largely due to extremely negative choices on her part & made worse by bipolar disorder. I wanted to be a good friend but... I was trying to re-make my own life and didn't want to be dragged back down into drug-fueled bad craziness. And someone in my own life helped me see the many ways that she was less than a good friend to me over the years. Long story short, I stopped hanging out w/her, then 3 sisters moved to California to be with the 4th around the same time I moved up here. I could have stayed in contact but didn't.

Back to Now... I am really thinking about my connections with other people, friends, family... all the people I was so close to at one time who have just slipped away from my life. One of my "43 Things" is to reconnect with old friends, another is to build stronger relationships in general. So... I went to sister Carol's website (she is a successful children's author- some of your kids almost certainly have her "gross science" books) and sent her an email. She was happy to hear from me, gave me contact info for the other 3. So after exchanging emails w/2 sisters I worked up courage to call Glo. Kind of hard... she's not online these days and phone is not my preferred mode of communication at the best of times. But it sounded like she was doing well. Carol told me she's found religion... which I am usually skeptical of but in this case my thought was "well she damn well needed to find SOMETHING". So apprehensive but hopeful I make the call.

Took a while for her to get who it was ("It's Hille"- "who?" - "Hille"- "I'm sorry, who did you say?"-- "Hille. Hilary. Your friend in Michigan, Gloria" --- "OH!! Oh my god! Hille! Praise the lord!!") but after that it was all good. We talked for about a half hour, just catching up on the past several years. She sounds good. Living out in the Arizona desert being live-in caretaker for a church. She sounds happy. Seems to be thinking more clearly than she has since her daughter (age 18) was a baby. Sounds like clean living away from an urban environment, a stable life partner, and a supportive, accepting community of stable folks have done wonders for her.

I'm going to write a long letter over the weekend.

I'm happy that Glo-Glo is doing well and

I AM SO GLAD I CALLED HER!!!

[Guest Megalicious]

I recently had the same sort of thing happen to me, but in my case the friend called me.

I had seen or heard from Brian in years, and he got my number from one of my best girl friends.

I really missed him, he held a special place in my heart. We were so close, with out the sexual tension, and it wasn't because he wasn't good looking he was just ... well ... Brian.

He is doing well, in film school in LA. Wants to become a cinematographer, which is exactly what I would invision him doing. We talked for like 6 hours. Funny how when I picked up the phone and heard the voice I knew right away it was him ........

[sass_in_the_pants]

Good for you Pomba!

I love those kinds of stories - you just made my day!

Alot of people would stare at that phone number for months, maybe even years, and then forget all about it all over again, until, after another ten or twenty years have passed, they think 'I should have called so and so when I had the chance' Good for you for taking that chance.

[pomba gira]

Good for you Pomba!

I love those kinds of stories - you just made my day!

Alot of people would stare at that phone number for months, maybe even years, and then forget all about it all over again, until, after another ten or twenty years have passed, they think 'I should have called so and so when I had the chance' Good for you for taking that chance.

I am making a huge effort to work on procrastination in all areas of my life, but especially with regards to personal relationships. Having a couple potentially-fatal accidents has made me very aware that "later" is never guaranteed.

My cousin has a heartrending story about being at a funeral of a man who hadn't spoken to his daughter in ten years or more. The daughter was at the casket weeping hysterically "Oh, Daddy, I wish I had one more chance to tell you I love you". The really terrible thing is, no one in the family- including the daughter- could even remember what they had originally quarreled about! That story made a big impression on me... I never want to stand by someone's casket crying about all the things I could've & should've said.

All that said, I still haven't started my letter to Glo! So that's my first project for next week after we get back from Chicago.