Should Age Matter?

[sass_in_the_pants]

So, everyone is cool with the fact that my boyfriend's 82, right?

[creatureofthenyte]

So, everyone is cool with the fact that my boyfriend's 82, right?

yeah, whatever floats yer boat...

[Steven]

But just as everybody else here said - it's all dependent on the individuals involved. I'll have to respectfully disagree with anyone who says, "LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!!!" Anyone who's been in any relationship for a number of years knows there's a lot more to it than that. Doesn't matter if there's 10 years or 10 weeks between your birth years. Relationships involve a gazillion number of factors outside of love. Ya gotta be willing to put in some effort.

Good luck.

SMOOCH.

you are so so so SO right on with this one Camille......

[Steven]

I would have to say that yes AGE DOES MATTER.

Well not really age. I mean obviously maturity matters. Too many people overlook things though. A girl can be mature, and very intelligent, but how much "life experience" does she really have? I'm speaking from my experience, because most of the arguments and fights I get into with my g/f have to do with this. She stresses about everything, and I quit caring about stupid shit a long time ago. It really is maddening, and it's been driving a wedge in what seemed like the perfect relationship for over a year and a half. So yeah. I think, I'm resigned to the fact that it may be a cold day in hell, before I do anything but fuck anyone under 25.....

This was my rule before and it worked quite nicely. I'm sure Sybil can back me on this. Remember when I stuck to rules (my picky ass rules about who I could date versus who I could fuck), and wound up with the most amazing girlfriend a guy could ever ask for? Maybe it's not too late for these strategies.

Meanwhile, I guess I'll wait around and see where things go. =(

Dude, I full on trip on you.

[Steven]

The road to maturity is paved with ?????

I'll tell ya..

its paved with two things:

1) experience.

2) humility.

experience allows you to reflect and choose and weigh out.

but humility allows you to take stock in yourself honestly and choose your lifecourse based on that honest self evaluation and reflection.

Experience alone is a stunted thing without humility.

And Humility is impossible without experience.

that being said - it does not always come by way of - but often more times than not happens to be a bi-product of -AGE.

and by the way waiting for Mr or Mrs Right to me, is a failed and short sighted experiment.

if you want Mrs Right then you'd better be willing to re-create yrouself into Mr Right so that that other person of the highest quality zeroes in on your radio signal.

[FarrIL]

There is a 7 year difference between my fiance and I. He is 29 and I'm 21.

I think the only time age matters is when each person's maturity levels clash.

Ditto.

And unfortunately, my maturity level was higher than my Ex..... who was 11 1/2 years OLDER than me. I'm sure a few people would back me up when I say that.

Besides my having a job, and a car....... I did all the driving, to visit a deadbeat boyfriend. ;>>

[Homicidalheathen]

Totally depends on the person. I dated someone near 40 in my teens, early 20's who was sooo imature, well........that ended. And at 40 I have done the reverse......a 20 yr old who was also so imature......ugh.

I have dated someone younger who was mature and together......and someone older who had their shit together....

It is all about if your mature and have your shit together really.......I have a broad range of music tastes but listen to allot of techno and it gets on my older friends nerves.

[Homicidalheathen]

well i just say that he is alot older than her and it doesn't bug me, but he does got teased/harresed by the age difference. so i dont think it bugs them except the fact that people are bugged by it! (im really not trying to talk in circles).

prime example of why i dont feel the need to EVER tell anyone my age. or how im dating for that matter.

Don't let people bug ya yup.

[TygerLili]

Yes, it matters, but how much it matters is dependent on about a million things. For me, I'm not comfortable dating someone who is not relatively close to my own age. For others, I guess it depends on the situation.

I'm creeped out, though, by couples where there's a big enough age difference that one party is old enough to have parented the other. Sorry, but I am.

[Homicidalheathen]

...and I, in that situation....turn around to my younger lover....kiss him square on the lips.......french style.....and say ok son, let mommy take you home and tuck you in now......lol.....I have done this its pretty funny to watch the reactions.

[jadnifer]

I dont think that the age thing matters.

Family might give you a hard time, but who cares what they think? Its your happiness.

I always said that I would never date anyone that was older than my dad and I havent yet...but Ive come close.

By the way...my dad is only 43.

[Onyx]

A few years ago I would have said that it matters and that it is a major part of whether a couple could be compatible.

I have completely changed my mind, after meeting a few 40-year-old adolescents and infants, and a few 20-year-olds who were more mature than anyone I'd met so far.

Once a person gets past adolescence, I really believe maturity and compatibility are the main factors that will determine the success or failure of any relationship.

[Hellion]

IMO I think the most inconsiderate and rudest thing to ever say to anyone is "how old are you?"

especially when your at a club thats 21 and older.

[torn asunder]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

i don't think age should ever be brought up in a ralationship/dating, other than to be sure everyone is legal.

[Hellion]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

i don't think age should ever be brought up in a ralationship/dating, other than to be sure everyone is legal.

Damn straight

[jadnifer]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

i don't think age should ever be brought up in a ralationship/dating, other than to be sure everyone is legal.

i quite agree

[creatureofthenyte]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

i don't think age should ever be brought up in a ralationship/dating, other than to be sure everyone is legal.

Well I think it should be brought up at some point, like you were referring to, to know if both people are of legal age to be havin such a relationship. I wouldn't want to meet someone, and have all that good stuff that you mentioned like tons in common, etc, and then wait till significant amounts of time went by, and then end up havin her drop a bombshell on me and say; "I can't wait till my 18th birthday NEXT year". Some people are younger then they look, and some are older then they look. So oh yeah age should be a detail that gets covered. As a for instance; Ive been told that I look young for my age. Many people have commented, when seeing me in person, that I look to be in my early 20's, when in fact, Im 32. Women these days, are dressing more provocatively and more adult-like and wearing make up at much younger ages then when I was coming up. When I was 11 yrs old, girls didnt wear make-up or low rise jeans...

[Steven]

Well I think it should be brought up at some point, like you were referring to, to know if both people are of legal age to be havin such a relationship. I wouldn't want to meet someone, and have all that good stuff that you mentioned like tons in common, etc, and then wait till significant amounts of time went by, and then end up havin her drop a bombshell on me and say; "I can't wait till my 18th birthday NEXT year". Some people are younger then they look, and some are older then they look. So oh yeah age should be a detail that gets covered. As a for instance; Ive been told that I look young for my age. Many people have commented, when seeing me in person, that I look to be in my early 20's, when in fact, Im 32. Women these days, are dressing more provocatively and more adult-like and wearing make up at much younger ages then when I was coming up. When I was 11 yrs old, girls didnt wear make-up or low rise jeans...

but dont you think that in having things in common, thru conversationafter significant amounts of time have gone by, you'd be able to tell how much experience in general said person has????

[Homicidalheathen]

Best response so far in my opinion.

A few years ago I would have said that it matters and that it is a major part of whether a couple could be compatible.

I have completely changed my mind, after meeting a few 40-year-old adolescents and infants, and a few 20-year-olds who were more mature than anyone I'd met so far.

Once a person gets past adolescence, I really believe maturity and compatibility are the main factors that will determine the success or failure of any relationship.

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[saechalyn]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

Maybe.

It wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker, but yes it would bother me.

[Homicidalheathen]

No, my second much older b/f lied about his age by 10 years and when I found out I was mad about the lie, not the age. I was already in too deap and we lived together for 4 yrs. But the immaturity of him made me dump him.......

[Kiss The Midget]

let me ask you this... if you met someone, got along with them really well, were attracted to them, had tons in common, and generally felt like you belonged together - and never knew their age - would you stop seeing them if you found out they were older/younger than some supposed "rule/guideline" you had?

i don't think age should ever be brought up in a ralationship/dating, other than to be sure everyone is legal.

ahhhh... thank you my friend. this person i was talking about was me. i thought i didnt tell her my age cause i tell no one. she found out my age and freaked. she is ok now. but whatever, right?

thank you all for your comments they rock.

greg

[creatureofthenyte]

but dont you think that in having things in common, thru conversationafter significant amounts of time have gone by, you'd be able to tell how much experience in general said person has????

Hopefully, and in most cases, yes.

But, every once in a blue moon,

A curve ball gets thrown.

And all of the information previously learned about said person,

could be found to be false information to make it sound like they had said experience.

Albeit, that's very rare, and unlikely, it Is possible.

[jadnifer]

My family is against me seeing someone that is much older than I am.

I think like this...if both people care about each other and they make each other happy...

What the hell difference does it make?

[honeymustard02]

As long if they are under 18 they are within a year of each other. Without getting detailed being too far apart when under 18 makes a HUGE difference.

BUT since you said both parties being adults then no. If you click and just mesh right then go for it.

Me personally I like older guys. Most of the guys I've been involved with are 5+yrs older then I. The oldest being around 10yrs older.

But the only problem being is the older party, depending on how big the age gap, can sometimes take on a parental role. This can be a major issue that I've seen a lot.

But whatever floats ya boat.